Dating Question

[Deeds]

Do you think it is wrong (or at least, not a good idea) for a boyfriend and girlfriend to spend the day alone in a house together? If it makes a difference, assume the couple is in their 20s.

[curtins]

better safe than sorry, but I suppose it depends on the individuals


but why would they in the first place? go out and do something

[franciscanheart]

I don't see why you would need to spend a WHOLE DAY inside even alone! But I think that if the couple is mature, has clear boundaries, and is always careful to be doing something worthwhile, it should be just fine. Cook a meal, watch a movie, play a game... you don't have to spend the whole day snuggled up on the couch under a blanket.

[Didymus]

if they truly want whats best for each other, then crossing boundaries wouldn't ever come into question no matter what because you'd want to wait for each other. But it probably does depend upon the individuals, because some may have more of a problem with it than others. but an entire day doesn't make much sense. They should prolly get out at some point.

[jmjtina]

The whole day alone in the house?

If both are practicing and living a chaste life, this is a no-brainer.

You spend it OUTSIDE of the house, regardless of age. You want to lead each other to heaven and help each other, so every little thing counts.

Of course, that could just be me!

[Deeds]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1343633' date='Jul 30 2007, 12:09 AM']I don't see why you would need to spend a WHOLE DAY inside even alone![/quote]
OK, not necessarily the WHOLE DAY, but a few hours.

Edited July 29, 2007 by Deeds

[Totus Tuus]

Eh, I'd say it's pretty likely to be an occasion of sin, somehow, some way. If you have to ask it's probably not a good idea.

[quote name='jmjtina']Of course, that could just be me![/quote]

Nope, definitely not.

[quote name='didymus']if they truly want whats best for each other, then crossing boundaries wouldn't ever come into question no matter what because you'd want to wait for each other.[/quote]

Hmm, I think [i]wanting[/i] the best for each other is something most chaste Catholic couples experience. Human nature tends to interfere, though.

Edited July 29, 2007 by Totus Tuus

[Roamin Catholic]

I can think of plenty things to do in a house that dont constitute a "sin"...but I agree, I would much rather spend it outside the house

[Brigid]

he just asked if it was a good idea... which it's not. it doesn't matter how well-intentioned the couple is. if I was alone in a house with my boyfriend (despite the fact that I'm trying my [u]hardest[/u] to help him on his way to heaven, and I'm very determined to help him be pure and to keep myself that way, too), the temptation would still be there.

edit: I'm not saying anything would happen... just that the temptation is there, and it's smarter to avoid it. and I agree with what old_joe says below me.

Edited July 30, 2007 by Brigid

[Old_Joe]

I think how the amount of mutual trust between the people is factor. If they trust each other enough, they'll mutually help one another avoid near occasions of sin.

[XIX]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1343771' date='Jul 29 2007, 06:25 PM']If you have to ask it's probably not a good idea.[/quote]


If you have ever dealt with scrupulosity, you'd stay away from that logic. Maybe I'm just biased because I have dealt with scrupulosity in the past.

In any event...

Personally, I think the question is this: is it a near occasion of sin, or a theoretical occasion of sin? Honestly, you can answer that better than I can. It's basically impossible for a couple to grow as a couple without spending some time alone together. (If you don't, then your wedding day and your marriage will be a lot more awkward than it has to be. Imagine going from never spending time alone, to engaging in the marital act...)

But there are some seriously tempting spots. Theoretically, anything that's anything can be tempting. If you go outside, you might see an offensive billboard. If you go inside...that could be tempting for obvious reasons. If you go into a tree, you could be tempted to do something dangerous. If you hang out with your parents all day, you could be tempted to dishonesty to make the parents think highly of the relationship. If you play Monopoly, you could be tempted to cheat. If you play chess, you could be tempted to brag if you win. etc. etc. etc.

What you need to do is separate what theoretically could be a temptation, from what is likely to be a serious temptation. Translation: if you really think that being inside and alone has a good chance at turning *either* of you on, then find another environment. Maybe you'll be less tempted when you are outside. Maybe you just need to stay out of a specific room when you are inside.

Make sure you have stuff to do. I think it's a good rule across the board: stay occupied, and it's easier to stay chaste. It can be as simple as talking or cooking. Maybe a board game (not twister, lol). Watching TV doesn't work so well for most people, however. A lot of makeout sessions happen because the couple just gets bored.

But to answer your question, no, I don't think it's *necessarily* wrong for a guy and a gal to spend a day indoors. But be careful. Set boundaries ahead of time.

(Personally, maybe this is just me, but I don't see why a makeout session would be more likely to happen indoors than outdoors.)

Edited July 30, 2007 by XIX

[iggyjoan]

I think it'd be fine, as long as you both try to stay away from temptation.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='XIX']If you have ever dealt with scrupulosity, you'd stay away from that logic. Maybe I'm just biased because I have dealt with scrupulosity in the past.[/quote]

Thanks. I kind of hesitated to say what I did, so I'm glad you made this clarification as it had crossed my mind.

Edited July 30, 2007 by Totus Tuus

[Norseman82]

Well, you can just make dinner to show off your culinary skills.....

[Cow of Shame]

[quote name='Deeds' post='1343610' date='Jul 29 2007, 06:20 PM']Do you think it is wrong (or at least, not a good idea) for a boyfriend and girlfriend to spend the day alone in a house together? If it makes a difference, assume the couple is in their 20s.[/quote]

I don't see a problem. Yo' momma raised you right, yeah? [mod]Inappropriate. --Era Might[/mod]