Faith

[hyperdulia again]

I'm in a really weird place spiritually. I'm in one of those annoying black, disatisfied moods that have led to me leaving the Church in the past. I have daily confession available to me, but I haven't been a very long time because I feel like a liar. I haven't recieved Christ in the Blessed Sacrament in wweeks, because I'm not in a State of Grace. I don't really pray anymore, I start, but my mind wonders. I feel like I'm slowly, but surely being seduced by Satan into practicing a religion that makes me *feel* better.

So this is an attempt at a pre-emptive strike. I feel the little demon in me saying something about Buddha and Krishna annd Anglicanism and Civil Unions in Vermont. Pray for me. This is a copy of the post in the prayer request forum so if you read this one, don't bother reading that one.

What do you do when you feel like this?

[M.SIGGA]

You have described the story of my life. When I'm where I think you are, I read something totally secular like Mother Jones to see how horrible the world really is and listen to music, preferably emotional rock like Dashboard Confessional or Ben Harper.

Then I'll end up whiping out the Lives of the Saints at some point or something that shows what I'm going through could always be much worse and focus on what eternity really means. I'll go for a long interstate drive and breakdown, and be totally fine and reading the Bible again at the end of the week. It's a wierd formula, but it works for me and it's keeping me off Zoloft.

Take a trip to see the Blessed Sacrament and talk to Jesus about it face to face. Bring the Immitation of Christ and meditate on Reflections of Death ( Ch. 34?)Then sit in total silence, light a candle, and wait. It works. Feel better.

[Good Friday]

I PMed you, but I doubt I was very helpful since I still don't know how to keep myself from getting into this condition. :rolleyes:

[Katt1227]

Whenever I'm feeling very down and find it hard to pray and hard to have faith, I try to go someplace beautiful, some park or something to do with nature and sit for a while and think and eventually I end up starting to pray. I think that by being out in nature, it makes it much easier for me to feel closer to God. I mean it's a huge sign that He's out there and He loves us.

And if that doesn't work, i try to seek out the people in my life who love me, and who I think have a lot of faith. I'm blessed to have a lot of friends who help keep me from slipping to far into the dark, desolate times.

Other times, I start with a simple prayer, usually to Mary, and just start yelling or screaming and begging. Begging to be nearer to her, to her Son. And sometimes it takes a lot of me begging and screaming and crying, but in the end I know that Someone heard me, and that He will respond with what He knows I need. It's never what I think it is, but it's always what I need. Surprisingly, He knows better than I do, what's best for me.

I hope these help you, and you'll be in my prayers.

[hyperdulia again]

Sigga thank you. I especially like the drive and the breakdown part of your post.

Nathan I haven't read your pm yet, but I'm sure it'll be helpful.

[hyperdulia again]

Katt thank you...

I really don't know how to respond with anything other than a thank you.

I should get offline aand pray while the baby's asleep...but I'm not gonna...

[Richard]

Hyper,

Such periods of doubt and uncertainty are common in many things in life. The grass always seems greener on the other side. This is especially hard with something like Faith that requires so much, well, Faith. Keep strong in whatever way you can, I’m sure even the smallest prayer or good intention will be well received by our Lord.

The bad times WILL pass and the good times will come again! I’m praying for you Hyper. God bless :)

[Guest jgaudino]

Wow - been there done that also!

My suggestion is prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

Lives of the Saints works too... sometimes when I am that down its easy to slip into despair. I keep a copy of St Faustina's diary around - good stuff to get you back in touch with God's MERCY! Its also humbling to see how far I am from the Saints!

I also use a daily meditation book. The BEst I have found so far is the "In Conversation with God" series by Fr Fernandez from Opus Dei. I'm not a Opus Dei guy but I have to say this series of books of meditations has had aprofound impact on my prayer life.

And HEY how about a novena? I know I know - old fashioned but why not? I have had some fantastic things happenwhen several friends prayed Novena's for and with me!

Hope that helps! You are in my prayers!

- John

[CatholicAndFanatical]

Hyper if you remember back a few months I posted about me feeling this way as well. This is just another blow by a demon to keep you from Christ. You must fight it and do not allow it to win you over.

Even the best Saints felt this way in their life. St Faustina went through a period of darkness, and Mother Teresa did as well.

I dont know how to keep from getting like this. But I do know from experience that it only lasts a short while. There were times when I went months without confession and receiving Christ. How I came back to Christ? I dunno, I got tired of being in that state, I broke down, pleaded with God to let me come back home and I asked Him to forgive me and went to confession. Afterwards I felt like a small toyota was pulled from my shoulders and by His amesome Mercy I was back home again.

Dont loose hope my friend. God is still with you and He will never leave your side. So dont let that demon win ok. Buy the Diary of St. Faustina and read it. Jesus tells how amesome His mercy really is. I promise it will change you for the better.

"The greater the sinner, the greater he has a right to My mercy(723)" - Diary of St Faustina

I will pray for you hyper. Im sorry your going through this.

[Laudate_Dominum]

The Holy Apostles were not without their doubts. When the dark hour came they were all scattered. The Gospels are very powerful when it comes to the basic struggles of following Christ. He is the One Teacher and His words are the best.

If a time comes when Christ looks at you and asks, "will you also go away?" let us say with Peter, "to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

You say you have persisted in a state of sin without confession. Afraid you are a liar. Do you think the Holy Apostles' faith was perfect when they walked with Christ in his public ministry? By no means! Despite their weaknesses they had trust and audacity. Do not be afraid to say with Phillip, "Lord, show us the Father and it is enough for us."

"If anyone thirsts let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scriptures have said, from his heart will flow streams of living water."

Christ calls you by name. Peter failed many times and abandoned Christ. Jesus prayed that his faith would not fail, despite Peter's lack of faith and fidelity Christ chose him to lead His Church. Christ also seeks to lead you in this life and has great plans for you. Consider how much good Peter was able to do through Christ despite everything. Nothing can seperate you from the love of Christ Jesus!

You cannot live the life of faith without prayer. If you have abandoned prayer you have essentially abandoned your faith. Do not be surprised when you find it difficult. At least a small resolution of prayer is most important, even if only three Hail Mary's when you wake up in the morning or something. And do not be afraid to go to confession. Do you think Christ would not absolve you from your sins? You are not worthy for Him to do this? "You shall never wash my feet!"

Christ says, "if I do not wash you, you have no part with me."

"Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!"

Christ's love is everything. "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

You are a baptized Christian, you are one of Christ's! You are a child of God!

"You did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father'."

I suppose to answer your question then, I find the Bible to be the ultimate source of light and life in times of darkness and distress. Many of the Saints had times where they could do nothing to dispell the darkness they were in. I recall St. Therese speaking of how nothing was of any benefit to her for a long time except for the Holy Scriptures. The Gospels and St. Paul's letters are the best I find. The Saints were all imbued with the Word of God.

Something else I should note that is often not stressed enough is the fact that spiritual growth is not really possible without mental prayer. The best form of this is meditating on the life and words of Jesus. If you make some modest resolutions and stick to them this cloud of blackness will pass away. If you do not feel able to keep any resolutions I would second the novena idea given above. St. John Vianney recommends a novena to the Holy Spirit for people who feel stuck in sin and lukewarmness. Cry out to God in your helplessness. "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

[cmotherofpirl]

THis is the point where you just keep slogging on. Where it all looks vastly improbable in the cold bleak light of day. Where grace and God seem a very remote possibility.

Here is the point where you feel nothing, its just all just going thru the motions, its all pointless.

DO it ANYWAY.

This is the point of GRACE.

THis is where you discover that you cannot do it on your own, you were never doing it on your own, it isn't possible to do it on your own.

Work out your salvation in fear and trembling, because it is God that workth in you.

Here is where you get down to the business of faith. Here is the point you say "I believe Lord, help my unbelief "(usually with the unspoken caveat of and do it NOW!).

God is giving you an opportunity to say to Him again, without the cushion of emotions and good feelings, I choose You, Lord. I cannot see you, feel Your Presence, or find you anywhere, but I choose You.

Many people mistakenly walk away at this point, thinking they have lost their faith, or need to try a new one. A new faith will do them no good, because whatever they try for how long, God will bring them back to this very point again. And again.

You cannot rise to a new life, until you die to the old one.

A baby in the womb, greatly protests the birth, having no clue. A baby has no faith.

So you say the prayer, and you wait.

You think nothing is happening, you see no change.

But God works in our soul in unseen quiet ways, like snow melting quietly in spring.

Waiting is an act of faith and will. Faith that God knows what He is doing, and will because we continue to go to Church and continue to talk to God, even though sometimes we are quite convinced no one is up there to listen.

At this point, I find the psalms invaluable. I can always find several to fit even the bleakest , most miserable mood. Some times you just yell them , sometimes you can manage only a whisper.

We see such times as a disaster and a failing, God sees it as a refining and purifying process to bring you closer to Him. God is preparing you for something newer and better.

THe good news is if you wait and be faithful you will get thru this, and be closer to union with God.

The bad news is it will happen again. Each step along the way is a dying and a rising to self. But now that you know it is normal, the next time it happens (and it will) understand God is offering you more, if you will trust Him and Wait.

Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God has waiting for those who love Him.

[cmotherofpirl]

I also recommend you read C.S.Lewis The Chronicles of Narnia again.

[jasJis]

... but I doubt I was very helpful since I still don't know how to keep myself from getting into this condition.

Amen! Don't we all fall into this nasty hole?

What works for me, is going out of my way to do something for a stranger, like stopping and fixing a tire, being particularly charitable when driving by letting somebody cut in front of me even if they're driving like an idiot, being friendly and chatting to anybody you cross paths with, really listening to a friend's problems and being sure not to criticize but give positive support (even if it's just "I understand")

I've found that God's reward is peace in my heart and an increase of comfort in my faith. When we give, we recieve. Funny how that works. ;)

[Azriel]

What works for me is talking. Talking to friends, to family, to God, to our Mother. I just keep talking even when I don't believe I'm being heard.

You've had incredible change in your life, Hyper. The addition of a new little one is a hard adjustment, even if you physically didn't give birth.

You've got my prayers and love.

[CatholicAndFanatical]

did you say something azriel??

:P