reelguy227 Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 (edited) So, I've had a problem in an area of chastity for much of my life, it impedes my spiritual life in a way, and I'm not going to say what it is because it's personal. But, I've always tried to either ignore it, or not give in to it. However, no matter what I do-Chaplets, Rosaries, daily Mass-it still won't go away. And I feel that it will impede my prospects for marriage. What should I do? Leave it up to the Lord? I'm so lost...I feel like He doesn't want to help me to get rid of it. Thanks *I have no idea why it double posted my thread,oops, sorry* Edited July 11, 2007 by reelguy227 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Well... not knowing what the problem is makes it hard to suggest anything. Umm have you tried talking to a Priest about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reelguy227 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 No, I honestly don't want to. Sorry for being so vague.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reelguy227 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 (edited) what is with this double posting? Edited July 11, 2007 by reelguy227 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 [quote name='reelguy227' post='1324493' date='Jul 11 2007, 01:50 PM']No, I honestly don't want to. Sorry for being so vague....[/quote] Most Priests have heard it all, and probably experienced a lot of it themselves before entering into the Priesthood. I would suggest going and speaking with a Priest. They give really good advice. This might be one of those things you just can't handle on your own. Majority of the time when it comes to struggles with chastity, humbling yourselves to someone and talking about helps bring the problem out into the open and opens you up to healing. There are a lot of things that we do not want to do. The thing is God already knows what is going on and when you speak to a Priest you are speaking to Christ's representative on earth. Priests are there to help you and to instruct you on what the best approach to over coming a particular sin that has ahold of you. I, myself, as well as many others here on PM have had struggles with chastity in our past and some of us still in our present. I'm sure PM would be in agreement to say that the best thing to do is get it out in the open with a Priest. It's all a part of humility. And like I said a few lines ago, when we humble ourselves before the mercy of God it opens us up to healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 [quote name='reelguy227' post='1324491' date='Jul 11 2007, 02:45 PM']So, I've had a problem in an area of chastity for much of my life, it impedes my spiritual life in a way, and I'm not going to say what it is because it's personal. But, I've always tried to either ignore it, or not give in to it. However, no matter what I do-Chaplets, Rosaries, daily Mass-it still won't go away. And I feel that it will impede my prospects for marriage. What should I do? Leave it up to the Lord? I'm so lost...I feel like He doesn't want to help me to get rid of it. Thanks *I have no idea why it double posted my thread,oops, sorry*[/quote] "Jesus, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner" First off, never forget that prayer. A priest once quoted St. Augustine to me, who said something like this, concerning temptations: "Birds will fly, but you don't have to let them land on your head and make a nest in your hair." By this he means that temptations are something you have to deal with. But you never have to give in. Remember that we are the Church Militant - we're in a battle against evil. It follows that we must [i]fight[/i]. God loves you so much that He gave you free will. Yes, you might fall. And that's ok. What's not ok is not to fight against temptation. You fight because you love Him, who (whether you feel it or not) loves you infinitely more - so much so that, not only does He give you the grace and tools to fight evil, but He also gives you a Sacrament to heal the wounds you've inflicted on yourself in the fight, and to get up and start again. Another priest once told me, concerning a recurring temptation: "this temptation and your fight against it might be what will make you a saint." See? [b]You[/b] can turn your temptations from a means of death and darkness to a means of grace and, eventually, heaven! Turn the devil's efforts back on himself. Always remember, God will not allow you to experience something you cannot handle. He is not the one tempting you, of course, but all that happens is His will: either his [i]ordained[/i] or [i]permitted[/i] will. Temptation is a part of His plan in a mysterious way, because He [i]permits[/i] it. And your fight against it can make you a saint. Don't give up! Go to Confession as often as you fall - and that might be a LOT. The point is not to stop going to Confession. Don't let anything hold you back. And when you're in a state of grace, receiving Holy Communion. It's the ultimate means of grace, strength, light (no matter what you [i]feel[/i], like I said, because sometimes you just don't feel any help coming from frequent Holy Communions, but you have to have the faith to know that something is happening in you that you can't see). We will definitely be praying for you. God loves you. Keep praying, keep frequenting the Sacraments, and fight the temptations. God bless! Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geetarplayer Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 reel, I don't know what to tell you except to hope in the Lord. I, too, have had problems in the area of chastity, in ways which I found it difficult to explain in the confessional. But by the grace of God, I know that I am being released from the choke hold of sin, at least in this one area. I don't know how to explain it, except that God has opened my eyes to see the true dignity and value of His children, and I cannot help but see it every time I am tempted to return to that wasteland of perversion where I had settled for so long. The things which helped me might not necessarily help you, but you may PM me if you'd like to talk about it further. Sincerely, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reelguy227 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 Thanks guys. Sometimes I'm so upset, I feel like all hope is lost. I get angry, sad and frustrated with myself all at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scardella Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I'd also have to add eucharistic adoration. Also, Christopher West speaks of getting to the point where you have to man up and face your temptations head on. Sometimes running isn't always the answer. If it's something like pornography, when you get the imagery in your head attacking you, it's like David and Goliath (I'm totally stealing this from a Prot minister from the radio) in some ways. It feels like you're this tiny little guy who can be crushed at the mere whim of Goliath. However, much of his power comes from his intimidation of you. If you resist the intimidation, you're already halfway there. Then you're free (and that's the key) to allow grace to pull you through the situation, rather than giving in. Does my mishmash thought help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I recommend to all with these types of problems Christopher West's Theology of the Body series, Created and Redeemed. www.christopherwest.com. It has helped me greatly and is truly life changing material. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Reelguy just remember that God loves you no matter what. Unconditionally. Without end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Most guys, including myself, struggle with pornography and masturbation. You have to develop a deep hatred for sin, in order to avoid it. Start every day, and every action with prayer like, "come Holy Spirit, be with me". As soon as you find yourself beginning to desire that which you struggle with, ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen you, and [b]immediately start doing something else[/b]. Anything, to get your mind off of that which you struggle with. And you must, somehow, learn to hate it more than anything. Stay active and busy. If you're always doing things which are good, you will have no time to sin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 i guess something that helped me when i was struggling with this sin is knowing i would have to confess it. and for me, the shame of having to tell someone else what i did was enough to keep me from doing it in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 [quote name='reelguy227' post='1324491' date='Jul 11 2007, 02:45 PM']However, no matter what I do-Chaplets, Rosaries, daily Mass-it still won't go away.[/quote] This is the first problem. It won't go away. It's not something that will just pack its bags and move out. You have to accept it in your life as a perpetual cross, learn how to ignore it, how to calm it, how to live above it. St. Augustine described his sins calling to him behind his back, telling him to turn around, taunting him about how he would never again experience this or that pleasure. The voices didn't go away, but they got quieter and less influential as he replaced his love of pleasure with love of God. Also, don't fall into the trap of thinking that if you "do" something, even if you pray, that you will suddenly be free of the temptation. Even though you are relying on God, in a way you are still relying on yourself, on your ability to fight it with good works. Make sure that you don't just try to keep your mind busy, but try to grow interiorly in a relationship with Christ. The goal is to love him above yourself, to love his will above your own, and to see the life of virtue as something more than just fighting temptation, but as living in Christ's life. And don't be ashamed to go to confession. Confess, confess, confess, however often you need to! [url="http://www.pornnomore.com/"]http://www.pornnomore.com/[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosophette Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 Might I suggest........... the [url="http://www.rosescapular.com/Miscorder.htm"]St Joseph Cord.[/url]? It does WONDERS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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