Spanking

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1322663' date='Jul 10 2007, 10:56 AM']My child literally did just that the other day, and was almost hit by a car. I "ate the face off him" but didn't spank him. My words, my fear, his fear, the livid look on the face of the driver involved, all got the message across.

At the end of the day, it's a philosophical issue. Each parent has to do what's right for him / her, which is why in my original post I said, "Speaking from my experience..."

I will never spank my children, end of story. That's what works for me.

Whether it should be illegal...?[/quote]

If there was no car, would a lesson have been learned?

[prose]

I swore I would never spank my child.

After I had children that changed. I have done it rarely (I can count it on one hand), but I have used it in extreme circumstances where nothing else would get through to her.

Actions have consequences. Period.

However, I think the problem comes when people know no other resort, and all they do is spank.

Parental education is the key.

[heshmafluff]

My parents spanked me as a kid.

They never did it when they were angry, and they never did it if we had company over or anything...and only if we did something REALLY REALLY bad, when we should have known better. They would tell us not to the first time, yell at us the second, spank us the third...we had time to get our acts together beforehand.

For most of my life I have been told what well-behaved kids we were...

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='heshmafluff' post='1322747' date='Jul 10 2007, 11:38 AM']My parents spanked me as a kid.

They never did it when they were angry, and they never did it if we had company over or anything...and only if we did something REALLY REALLY bad, when we should have known better. They would tell us not to the first time, yell at us the second, spank us the third...we had time to get our acts together beforehand.

For most of my life I have been told what well-behaved kids we were...[/quote]

My parent's discipline was very similar. My parents were always complimented on my sister's and my behavior.

[heshmafluff]

I'd say it worked then, eh?

[T-Bone _]

Yep.

Edited July 10, 2007 by T-Bone _

[tojo]

[quote name='heshmafluff' post='1322747' date='Jul 10 2007, 01:38 PM']My parents spanked me as a kid.

They never did it when they were angry, and they never did it if we had company over or anything...and only if we did something REALLY REALLY bad, when we should have known better. They would tell us not to the first time, yell at us the second, spank us the third...we had time to get our acts together beforehand.

For most of my life I have been told what well-behaved kids we were...[/quote]

This sounds like what I want to do.

My parents spanked, and out of anger, and for bad reasons at time. Not the way I want to do it. Still, the spakings don't really bother me, I'm not mad at my parents for their poor use of spanking.

Yelling actually bothered me much more, especially yelling in a mean and angry way. Don't do that, especially if you have sensitive, tenderhearted children.

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='tomasio127' post='1322760' date='Jul 10 2007, 11:43 AM']Yelling actually bothered me much more, especially yelling in a mean and angry way. Don't do that, especially if you have sensitive, tenderhearted children.[/quote]

They won't be sensitive or tenderhearted for long...

[tojo]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1322763' date='Jul 10 2007, 01:44 PM']They won't be sensitive or tenderhearted for long...[/quote]

Oh trust me, that doesn't change.

Though it does effect the affection for the parents.

[socalscout]

It does not work for me. Don't get me wrong it is much easier to spank a child than to put him in time out but time out is more grueling for a child. My 3.5 year old does not respond to spanking. He will continue the same behavior, in defiance, immediately after he receives a spanking without batting an eye. I will not spank so hard, or on a bare bottom or use a weapon in order to cause my child pain. I am not that kind of parent. Now, instead, if I take him away from the fun for 5 minutes and make him sit and stare at the wall you would think I was stabbing him with hot pokers. Works for me even though it is a pain in the rear

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1322733' date='Jul 10 2007, 12:30 PM']If there was no car, would a lesson have been learned?[/quote]
What would spanking him have done? If I can't find a way to teach my children apart from spanking, [i]I[/i] have a problem.

[quote name='prose' post='1322746' date='Jul 10 2007, 12:37 PM']However, I think the problem comes when people know no other resort, and all they do is spank.[/quote]
Bingo.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1322887' date='Jul 10 2007, 03:29 PM']What would spanking him have done? If I can't find a way to teach my children apart from spanking, [i]I[/i] have a problem.
Bingo.[/quote]

Spanking is a quick effective method for getting a childs undivided attention. A swat on the tail at the time of the offense is much better than the parent whining wait til I get you home etc, or yelling or carrying on or threatening the child for later vengance. . That was all that was necessary.
I get extremely tired of hearing children whining in stores, or running thru restaurants or sassing adults and the parents whining back, screaming matches in public, or parents standing there rather helplessly trying to reason with brats.
The first time it happens you explain that they will be taken outside, spanked and with immediately go home and go to bed. If the tantrum , whining etc continues then you follow thru. If you are in the store you calmly leave everything sit there and you walk out the door. You swat the butt [amply padded by the ALmighty anyway] and proceed home. Usually one time is enough to prevent it ever happening again.
I think my eldest was spanked twice, and #2 son once, my daughter never. As they got older other methods of punishment took over, but for misbehaving in public, a swat on the butt and a trip home was all it took.

[Azriel]

Danielle has been swatted on the bottom. THere is a difference between a swat on the butt, which is attention grabbing at most, not really all that painful, and beating a child's bottom with a belt.

The parent grows with the child. Some disciplines work better on different children. Danielle's swats have become less effective as she has gotten older, and taking my attention away from her has worked much much better.

[KnightofChrist]

Spanking? I think there should be BOOTINGS! Aw, it's just a little kick in the bum. What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot, you ask? Shush! Disparaging the boot would be a bootable offense!

But a part of me thinks when will you who use spanking learn? Liberals have stopped using
spanking, and things have never been better! The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because, as the old saying goes, "Let your children run wild and free."

[Maggyie]

My brothers and sister and I were swatted quite frequently all through childhood. I don't remember them using anything but their hands, although when my brothers got older my father would take his belt off. Nothing else, sometimes not even saying anything, just [i]taking his belt off[/i], and that did the trick! In our PC society some people might consider the old man "abusive" for scaring his boys like that, but I think most people who were familiar with my brothers' conduct would want to buy my dad a beer.

I think the idea that spanking (and I don't mean genuine abusive behavior) is damaging to children is somewhat over-rated, although I think it's ultimately up to each parent how they want to discipline their children. It really didn't teach me that violence solved problems, but it did teach me not to run ahead of my mother in the supermarket parking lot, jump in the car and lock her out for twenty minutes when I was mad about not getting a Ring Pop

Some kids are probably much more malleable, and you can reason with them at a younger age. I hope if I marry I don't ever have to spank my kids, but if they are out of control it won't rip me up inside. Spare the rod, and all.

Edited July 10, 2007 by Maggie