Spanking

[dairygirl4u2c]

i'm not sure where i stand, but let me throw the first argument out there.
i say, it only teaches children that the solution to problems is violence. you can use force against a child when it's necessary to prevent them from doing things, but spanking is violence for the sake of violence. there are other ways to deter.
it affects the kids who affect society when the kids grow up violent etc.

to say it should be up to the parents is tantamount ot ther things liberals don't get away with. "i don't believe in it personally, but i think it should be up to the individual"

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='dairygirl4u2c' post='1322265' date='Jul 10 2007, 02:55 PM']i'm not sure where i stand, but let me throw the first argument out there.
i say, it only teaches children that the solution to problems is violence. you can use force against a child when it's necessary to prevent them from doing things, but spanking is violence for the sake of violence. there are other ways to deter.
it affects the kids who affect society when the kids grow up violent etc.

to say it should be up to the parents is tantamount ot ther things liberals don't get away with. "i don't believe in it personally, but i think it should be up to the individual"[/quote]

I'm not sure my thoughts on this are too coherent yet, so bear with me. I am not against spanking entirely, though I think it should be used extremely sparingly. I do think it can be used too often, or too quickly, and should never be done while angry. That being said, overall I'm more in favor of other forms of punishment (time outs, losing privileges, etc). I don't think spanking should be illegal or anything, though. As I said, I don't think spanking, when done correctly, is necessarily wrong, so making it illegal would be a bit much, in my opinion. Not sure I'm making sense, though, so I'll stop and see what others have to say now.

[T-Bone _]

Society's ills have only increased since spanking has become taboo. It doesn't teach violence, but teaches that actions have (sometimes painful) consequences. I'm not for spanking on small offenses, there are other punishments that can be effective, but for certain offenses, with a warning that said action will lead to said punishment, spanking is the right solution.

[gamesfanatic04]

Ditto

[thessalonian]

Parents have a grave responsiblity to raise their children in a disciplined enviroment. That includes a number of options for steering them down the right path of which one is spanking. I used it a bit too much early on but have learned to use it as kind of a last resort or for things that are very serious, ie. life threatening, such as playing with matches in their bedroom. The State should in general stay out of this responsibility except in cases of obvious abuse. The world will be much harder on a child than a spanking if they are not raised with discipline.

[desertwoman]

I'm for spanking. The main thing is to learn your child. Some children respond by just telling them no and giving a required punishment ie no phone, and so forth.

Some knuckle heads do need to be spanked. The main thing is to do so when not angry, you clearly stated before they got the spanking why they were getting spanked, and afterwards why. This is how my folks and my elders did it.

Second, we no longer have community unity. If I did something wrong and Miss Ella saw me, I knew I was in for it. She would spank me, and when I got home... I would get it again so you best believe I didn't do anything to embarrass my family and more so myself.

My parents will also tell my brother and I that they would follow us to class, and sit in class with us if we ever got a call or note stating that we would be acting up, and a child would never want their parents siting in class with them during the duration of the class period. That is a huge embarrassment and no cool points is awarded to you on the real.

My mom and dad also gave our teachers permission to spank us if we got out of line as well, so we were constantly being reprimanded if we did something wrong either it was in school or home.

I remember my brother was cutting school and my neighbor use to see him come back home and thow his books underneath the building. She told my mom, and so my mom decided to wait for him and turn back around to see what he did. And sho nuff, he came back home and threw his books underneath the house. My mom rolled up on him, and beat his behind all in the street with neighbors watching and even a cop in the car watching the whole thing.

Our folks will rather them beat us instead of the cop who would not give a hoot about ya, while they care for our well being. My brother went back to school, but he failed the 9th grade though. But when he graduated and his friends didn't, we credited that whoopin for helping him. Now, we laugh at it all, and we thank our parents greatly for doing so to us.

We love them dearly and we know that they are not here to be our friends, they are here to be our parents. If they started to try to be our friends, we wouldn't listen to them or have to listen to them since they are friends. But we have to listen to our parents since we live under their roof and abide by their rules. We went out and made friends and realize that they are parents, and not friends and therefore garner more respect than what we place with our friends.

Edited July 10, 2007 by desertwoman

[kenrockthefirst]

Speaking from my experience:
[list]
[*]As a child, my dad used a belt on me.
[*]As a parent, I have never spanked my children in "cold blood."
[/list]
I agree that spanking only teaches children that violence or force is a solution. It isn't -- it's an option only when one is out of creative, intelligent ideas. The war in Iraq is a case in point.

Having said that, I have given my children smacks on the backside when they're being particularly cheeky (excuse the pun), and for trivial matters - "For the [i]n[/i]th time, get dressed" - I don't have any problem with that. However, I could never, like my dad, methodically have my children pull down their pants, lie face down on the bed, and have a go at them with a belt.

[Megz]

For some kids, spanking works well, especially strong-willed toddlers who often unknowingly put themselves and danger over and over. No amount of words will convince a 2year old who's dead set on running in the street not to run in the street, and time outs can bear to be useless esp in a parking lot. And bribery, for a kid who just has a defiant streak, often makes things worse. So, in some cases I believe spanking is necessary, but not above a certain age (five maybe, getting into the age of reason) and not ever more than a few minutes after the problem occurred. And it should always be the parent or a primary caregiver (over 5 waking hrs a day)
But it all depends on the kid...I've watched kids (age 2-5) who's hands you'd have to swat away from stoves b/c only that rule was law for them, any other punishment they'd giggle through. I've also watched kids of the same age who'd bawl if you sounded disappointed in them. (and oddly enough sometimes the two were siblings). There are also children who won't listen no matter how much you hit them.

Spanking for the sake of spanking is crossing a line which is how it gets banned. I don't think hitting a child as punishment for something they did is inherently wrong or teaches them violence, in fact, I think it teaches them boundaries. They CANNOT do that and if they do they will be in pain (briefly) this sets them up to learn morally that if they act incorrectly they will have pain in their lives. This pain is congruent with how they relate to their world, first on a physical level, then on an emotional one. While I think there are always some exceptions to the rule, children, in general, will push boundaries without being able to fathom the consequences because they don't understand the world and do need to learn that there is authority who they must respect.

[Pontifite 7 of 10]

It shouldn't be illegal, I mean you can't over do it. But you need tro disiplean your kids. Without TV for a week shoulndn't be the maximum punishment. If the kid is being bad their parents should be able to spank them if they see it fit.

[Laudate_Dominum]

[quote name='dairygirl4u2c' post='1322265' date='Jul 10 2007, 08:55 AM']i'm not sure where i stand, but let me throw the first argument out there.
i say, it only teaches children that the solution to problems is violence. you can use force against a child when it's necessary to prevent them from doing things, but spanking is violence for the sake of violence. there are other ways to deter.
it affects the kids who affect society when the kids grow up violent etc.

to say it should be up to the parents is tantamount ot ther things liberals don't get away with. "i don't believe in it personally, but i think it should be up to the individual"[/quote]
Where's the poll? This is a first.

I think it is creepy when the government starts legislating how people should parent their kids. Child abuse is wrong of course, but spanking is a matter of discernment for a parent. Laws like that creep me out.

Oh, and in case you're curious I don't plan on spanking my kids.

[gamesfanatic04]

The great philosophers of our time, the Rescue Rangers, have spoken on the violence topic. They had a case, and Gadget decided they would use no violence. Yet the bad guys did use violence, allot. This in turn lead to the very thing Gadget was trying to avoid, people getting hurt, only now it was just her friends getting really hurt. Gadget realized that once you exhaust all other options you must apply force, violently if necessary. Concurrently, Starship Troopers, the only novel that should be required reading for every child pretty much lays out the reasons for capital punishment. Also, I used to work at a summer camp and I could point out more or less every child in the group that was never spanked. They where the bad ones.

Edited July 10, 2007 by gamesfanatic04

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='gamesfanatic04' post='1322500' date='Jul 10 2007, 10:52 AM']The great philosophers of our time, the Rescue Rangers, have spoken on the violence topic. They had a case, and Gadget decided they would use no violence. Yet the bad guys did use violence, allot. This in turn lead to the very thing Gadget was trying to avoid, people getting hurt, only now it was just her friends getting really hurt. Gadget realized that once you exhaust all other options you must apply force, violently if necessary. Concurrently, Starship Troopers, the only novel that should be required reading for every child pretty much lays out the reasons for capital punishment. Also, I used to work at a summer camp and I could point out more or less every child in the group that was never spanked. They where the bad ones.[/quote]

[i]Adults using force against other adults[/i] is sometimes necessary, e.g. for law enforcement. And while I think that the use of capital punishment arises from the same lack of creativity and intelligence I mentioned in reference to spanking, a case can be made for its use [i]on adults[/i].

In my experience, the times when I resort to smacking my children is when I'm out of patience and ideas. Spanking Billy because he hit Suzy is a tad ironic, no?

[cmotherofpirl]

But spanking Billy cause he ran out in the street might save his life.

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1322642' date='Jul 10 2007, 11:45 AM']But spanking Billy cause he ran out in the street might save his life.[/quote]
My child literally did just that the other day, and was almost hit by a car. I "ate the face off him" but didn't spank him. My words, my fear, his fear, the livid look on the face of the driver involved, all got the message across.

At the end of the day, it's a philosophical issue. Each parent has to do what's right for him / her, which is why in my original post I said, "Speaking from my experience..."

I will never spank my children, end of story. That's what works for me.

Whether it should be illegal...?

[Archaeology cat]

It really does depend a lot on the personalities of parents & kids. I was, and am, extremely stubborn, but could usually be reasoned with. My little brother was a bit more defiant, however, and the time-outs, etc didn't always work. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to spank my children, because I also have a temper and I'd be afraid that I was doing it in anger. I'm still not completely against spanking (done correctly), and still don't think it should be illegal.