Confused!

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1320371' date='Jul 9 2007, 09:53 AM']I think a college education or life experince is vital before entering any monastery.[/quote]
Yeah, I mean I think a lot depends on the individual person. Some people can be very mature by that age also. I don't mean to completely disagree with this. During the meantime in my life, I have done a lot of different things like living abroad for a year, learning new languages, having a regular job, etc. which I do find to be an invaluable experience to bring with me wherever I'll go.

I don't look down on orders that will accept women this young though, as it's when God calls, and not according to what society would find more acceptable. The obvious example in this would be St. Therese. Again, just because the times change, doesn't mean, then no one can enter and God doesn't will anyone to enter at a young age. And also, there are many other saints who entered young and then died young. God's will is different for different people. But yes, that is an extremely important point, that it's over the long haul that counts.

Edited July 9, 2007 by Margaret Clare

[imogen]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1320371' date='Jul 9 2007, 05:53 PM']I think a college education or life experince is vital before entering any monastery. I think it is quite unwise to go from your parents to a convent without ever experiencing living on ones own/being responsible. I really dont think much of a monastery that allows it. Most nuns I know require at least 2 years outside high school to grow up. Many young gals go in, and come right back out. Take your time. Get a job, learn how to survive in society and build up your relationship with Jesus as you do so. I don't understand what the hurry is. There is alot of growing up between 17-22.
And a few convents are getting these young sisters, it is not the norm. I think it is a poor precedent for them to be setting. I lhave lived through the death and rebirth of religious life before. It is over the long haul that counts.[/quote]


Its not so much a hurry just that i dont want to be having boyfriends etc if im not supposed to......i dont want to offend Him!!!!!!
i dont want to go against what He's got in mind.......dont get me wrong though i know that whatever God has in store for me will eventually happen, but i dont want to be....hm whats the word.....awkward or getting accustomed to things like that if its not going to happen.

[onlygrace08]

[quote name='imogen' post='1325616' date='Jul 12 2007, 09:59 AM']Its not so much a hurry just that i dont want to be having boyfriends etc if im not supposed to......i dont want to offend Him!!!!!!
i dont want to go against what He's got in mind.......dont get me wrong though i know that whatever God has in store for me will eventually happen, but i dont want to be....hm whats the word.....awkward or getting accustomed to things like that if its not going to happen.[/quote]


I know what you mean here. It is kinda like, if you are engaged to marry someone, you don't tell them, "well, I'm gonna marry you but first I want to go and date a few other guys, just to make sure." that's just silly! You already are in love!

[jkaands]

<<I think a college education or life experience is vital before entering any monastery. I think it is quite unwise to go from your parents to a convent without ever experiencing living on ones own/being responsible. I really don't think much of a monastery that allows it.
Most nuns I know require at least 2 years outside high school to grow up. Many young gals go in, and come right back out. Take your time. Get a job, learn how to survive in society and build up your relationship with Jesus as you do so. I don't understand what the hurry is. There is a lot of growing up between 17-22.

And a few convents are getting these young sisters, it is not the norm. I think it is a poor precedent for them to be setting. I have lived through the death and rebirth of religious life before. It is over the long haul that counts.>>

I totally agree with Alicemary.

Recent studies of the brain have shown that a crucial area of the brain does not mature until the early 20's. It's the dorsal lateral prefrontal cortex in the all-important frontal lobes, which is involved in decision making, problem solving and understanding future consequences of today's actions. This recent neuropsychiatric finding is why many states are no longer permitting kids to drive alone at 16, but are requiring them to phase in their driving privileges gradually, often over two years, through Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) laws.

The same applies to marriage and religious life. For my part, I would have never permitted my girls to get engaged, let alone marry before they turned 21, ditto for joining a religious order.

I feel that the behavior of some of the rapidly growing orders, two in particular, is downright predatory. It's the Blackberry phenomenon, using modern electronics to connect with young women through email and IM, jazzed up websites nad videos and 'discernment' weekends, with a lot of young sisters in pretty (hot) habits to encourage fast decisions. Get 'em while they are very young, virtually unformed, as to their maturity and ultimate personality development. This was done commonly before Vat II, with disastrous results later, but I thought that recent canon law had ruled this out, by requiring high school graduation or GED, plus two years college or work. Apparently not.

[Veritas]

[quote name='jkaands' post='1318778' date='Jul 8 2007, 03:16 PM']Your are really too young for either option for now. You should graduate from high school AND college, if possible, before considering either option really seriously. You need a considerable amount of maturity to make the decision for a life's partner, whether marriage or to choose the correct religious order for your temperament, abilities, and interests (and to let them choose you!) College is virtually a necessity these days for any life. If you want to, and you can afford it, you can go to a Catholic college with a history of fostering vocations, such as Steubenville or St. Thomas..[/quote]

+

I must disagree about college. The formation and discernment process in religious life is lengthy -often 8-9 years before final vows and allows excellent opportunities for "maturity". There is no reason to wait if it seems God is calling you. Plus, don't saddle yourself with debt -it is a huge hindrance to many. Finally, vocational schools are an option to many -college isn't necessary and isn't the right choice for everyone.

Edited July 14, 2007 by Veritas

[Veritas]

+

Imogen, you are receiving a lot of different advice here and frankly, it is primarily opinions, which are often not reliable by their very nature. I recommend finding a solid spiritual director, who can really know you and guide you through the process. And, check this thread for advice from people (SD's and VD's) who are truly qualified and have a plethora of experience in helping other's discern:

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=63725"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=63725[/url]

Blessings!
V

Edited July 14, 2007 by Veritas

[imogen]

Thankyou!!! ill try!!!!

[jkaands]

Imogen,

I agree totally with Veritas that you should have a religious or vocational director.

Also, apparently you live in the UK and are studying for your A levels, yes? So you have an opportunity for state sponsored college education, lucky you! You can take your time discerning while you study. You are only 17 and have a lot of time. I and many others feel that it is wise to mature before making such important life decisions, just as it would be unwise to get engaged at 17, so it might be unwise to enter a religious order at this age. And as I mentioned in another post, there is now a lot of neurobiological and neurospsychiatric information that the brain does not fully mature until people are in their early 20's. Although you could be in your 20's at the time of your final profession, it may be wiser to have made the initial decision to enter when you are a little older.

Anyway, a spiritual director can help you sort all of this out.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Veritas' post='1328482' date='Jul 14 2007, 03:25 PM']Imogen, you are receiving a lot of different advice here and frankly, it is primarily opinions, which are often not reliable by their very nature. I recommend finding a solid spiritual director, who can really know you and guide you through the process. And, check this thread for advice from people (SD's and VD's) who are truly qualified and have a plethora of experience in helping other's discern:

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=63725"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=63725[/url]

Blessings!
V[/quote]

That's an interesting opinion you've got there, Veritas. ;-)

My recommendation would to write down your top eight possibilities (kinda like picking your "Top 8" friends for MySpace) in a circle (kinda like a pizza). If you have some favorites, you could make their slices bigger. Now take a Miller Lite bottle (because Miller Brewing Co. is the official sponsor of American Catholic Picnics), and placing it in the middle of your "pizza" of vocations, give it a good spin and wherever it lands... that's where you're headed.

Hey, it's not much different than casting lots.