Confused!

[imogen]

so up and until about 2 months ago i was fairly confident that i had a vocation to the religious life.......but all of a sudden i met a lad n started going out with him (i dont anymore tho)
since then i am really really confused to what im being called to do....coz i thort it was all....set in stone and i now wonder whether if because i wouldnt have minded being a nun i convinced myself that that was going to happen. Before i didnt particularly want to get married or have children but now i suddenly feel as if i would.
I dunno if this is just a kind of wake-up call and as ever would like to hear anything that might help me....ne1 had similar experiences?
Thankyou very very much!!!!

imogen

[onlygrace08]

When I was a bit younger, I was quite convinced that I was called to married life... but, also that if I didn't marry by a certain age, I would just become a nun. You need to consider it seriously and prayerfully. I'm sure you've already done this, but be patient. Eucharistic Adoration is a great place to be quiet and listen to our Lord speak to your heart.

[alicemary]

It is so important that you explore all of life's options. Don't be tied down to a narrow box that says I have to shelter myself just in case I have a call to be a sister. Go out and live your life to the fullest, and take the time to develop a good prayer life. If Jesus has planted the seeds of a vocation in your heart, that will be evident in time. You need to be well rounded to be a sister today, and it is so important to have friends. Will say a prayer for you!!

[imogen]

thankyou!!!! your advice really helps...... i think its probably coz i like to have an idea of what im doing.....and that im incredibly impatient lol. thanks again!!!!

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='imogen' post='1312114' date='Jul 4 2007, 06:00 PM']thankyou!!!! im incredibly impatient lol. thanks again!!!![/quote]


"God grant me patience, but hurry!

[jkaands]

Your are really too young for either option for now. You should graduate from high school AND college, if possible, before considering either option really seriously. You need a considerable amount of maturity to make the decision for a life's partner, whether marriage or to choose the correct religious order for your temperament, abilities, and interests (and to let them choose you!) College is virtually a necessity these days for any life. If you want to, and you can afford it, you can go to a Catholic college with a history of fostering vocations, such as Steubenville or St. Thomas..

[moon_child_anne]

[quote name='jkaands' post='1318778' date='Jul 8 2007, 02:16 PM']You should graduate from high school AND college, if possible, before considering either option really seriously.[/quote]

I agree with this. Most religious communities won't consider you until you've been on your own for a fair amount of time. I'm not saying to stop discerning, but you need to get alot of experience under your belt. Go ahead and attend any "Come and See" opportunities to keep your interest in religious life open, but also consider dating as well. You need to have both experiences to see which would be a better "fit" for you. And perhaps it's both. I know people who have been in community and left because they wanted to get married and have children. God calls people to all kinds of things. My best friend's mother was a Sister of Divine Providence for 20 years and left and now has a family (and my friend is discerning religious life with the Sisters of Mercy). God is good!

Peace,
Anne

[Marieteresa]

[quote name='jkaands' post='1318778' date='Jul 8 2007, 02:16 PM']Your are really too young for either option for now. You should graduate from high school AND college, if possible, before considering either option really seriously. You need a considerable amount of maturity to make the decision for a life's partner, whether marriage or to choose the correct religious order for your temperament, abilities, and interests (and to let them choose you!) College is virtually a necessity these days for any life. If you want to, and you can afford it, you can go to a Catholic college with a history of fostering vocations, such as Steubenville or St. Thomas..[/quote]


Jkannds, I dont think that one should be rushing off to an expensive college. Perhaps it would be better to work for a bit after HS inorder to gain some independence and maturity. Maybe after a period of discernment one might decided either to pursue a vocation or to go to college. Student Loans are a serious concern amongst those discerning a religious vocation....It is very painful to know your called but you can't act because you have student loans looming over your head. I think its pretty much impossible unless ones parents contribute, to attend a private university without student loans. Just my thoughts

[Lioness For Christ]

I would highly agree there... College isn't everything it's cracked up to be. It's very expensive, AND I've heard of several people who went but didn't end up doing what they went for anyways. (or quickly enough wanted to change their degree) I'd recommend working at a job first if you don't know for sure... That way you can start saving up if you do end up needing college or whatever, but won't dig yourself into a hole of debt if an immediate vocation to whatever comes up!

I mean suppose you are called to be married and want to be a house-wife? That's a truly wonderful thing! But if you don't need college for it, for you don't, why just go and waste a lot of money on it you know? Unless it's God's plan you go... Sorry I'm rambling..

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='jkaands' post='1318778' date='Jul 8 2007, 01:16 PM']Your are really too young for either option for now. You should graduate from high school AND college, if possible, before considering either option really seriously.[/quote]
Actually the minimum age for entrance at several of the Carmels I know of is 17, if not 18 for sure. It is always required to finish High School, but college is not necessary, and if God is calling someone at that age to this life, it is not recommended to first go through 4 years of college (independent even from the major issue of student loans - which can make you wait several more years until you could enter) A college degree is not necessary for every form of religious life.

I don't disagree that college can be extremely beneficial for becoming independent and developing who you are. But I just wanted to clarified that actually, there are some that are not called to attend college, and people at 17/18/19 can and are entering orders these days, which is perfectly normal. It's whenever God calls that we must answer. Just because the times change, God doesn't then wait with His grace and call young women later because it's more expected now that people go through 4 years of college.

But again, I'm not against college, and there have been many that go to college and then realize they are called to this life. I know several that went to college for a couple years, who are in orders now, who when they felt called, withdrew from the University and entered. :j I know 4 personally who did this are doing very well, and persevering in religious life. There are a couple also I just recently heard of that have just took Solemn Vows - one 24 and the other 25 (which requires a 6 year preparation).

But if someone is discerning an order like SMME, okay I can see that getting a degree first of course would make sense, as they are teachers. But again I just wanted to clarify that college is not necessary for all states in life.

Edited July 9, 2007 by Margaret Clare

[Chiquitunga]

But in reply to imogen's question, I would recommend highly what onlygrace has said. Spend time in Eucharistic Adoration, and let the Lord speak to your heart. You can ask advice of people of course, but really the most important thing is to spend time talking to and listening in your heart to Jesus. And know of course that you can also become a saint and be very close to God in the vocation to married life.

Also, when I was 17/18 I thought I would do something totally different than what I am discerning now. Religious life wasn't even in the picture.

So while as I was previously defending the fact that God does call and wills some to enter religious life at a very young age, I don't mean to say that therefore others should know and make huge decisions about their vocation at your age also. Everyone is different. God has a totally unique path for each person. Again, spend time in prayer with the Lord.

Edited July 9, 2007 by Margaret Clare

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='Margaret Clare' post='1319596' date='Jul 8 2007, 10:25 PM']There are a couple also I just recently heard of that have just took Solemn Vows - one 24 and the other 25 (which requires a 6 year preparation).[/quote]
that have just taken* :j

Edited July 9, 2007 by Margaret Clare

[imogen]

thankyou all.....hmm perhaps its also a lesson in patience too!!!!
well i'll keep you updated!!

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1312591' date='Jul 4 2007, 07:08 PM']"God grant me patience, but hurry!
[/quote]

That sounds like a twist on St. Augustin'e prayer, "Lord, grant me continence, but not yet." Of course, that was during the midst of his long conversion process

[alicemary]

I think a college education or life experince is vital before entering any monastery. I think it is quite unwise to go from your parents to a convent without ever experiencing living on ones own/being responsible. I really dont think much of a monastery that allows it. Most nuns I know require at least 2 years outside high school to grow up. Many young gals go in, and come right back out. Take your time. Get a job, learn how to survive in society and build up your relationship with Jesus as you do so. I don't understand what the hurry is. There is alot of growing up between 17-22.
And a few convents are getting these young sisters, it is not the norm. I think it is a poor precedent for them to be setting. I lhave lived through the death and rebirth of religious life before. It is over the long haul that counts.