I Am Despairing

[Lil Red]

I am very upset. A little background first:

Since my youth group is raising money to get to NCYC, a lot of weekends I am at every Mass. I sit at my table keeping eye on our 'wares' and listen to Mass and watch what's going on. Every weekend and every Mass I get increasingly bitter.

Why you ask? I'll tell you. I am bitter about the casual dress of people going to Mass (flip flops, shorts, t-shirts with offensive graphics, mini mini-skirts, halter tops, ratty jeans, sweats, hair that looks like someone just rolled out of bed, etc etc etc). I am bitter about people coming in late (anywhere from right at the reading of the Gospel to right at the Eucharistic prayer). I am bitter about people leaving early, chewing Jesus like he's some kind of snack while they are walking out the door. I am bitter about the parents who are such poor examples for their children. I am bitter about the noise of people talking in the sanctuary before and after Mass, like they are in a social hall. I am bitter about the fact that if our priest (who has been here for 10 years) had started catechizing people when he got here, we wouldn't be in such a state! I am bitter about the fact that people walk into Mass chewing gum. I am bitter about the fact that it doesn't seem like my priest cares about the majority of what I've listed here, as long as we talk about 'community' and 'the body of Christ'. I am bitter that on the feast of Corpus Christi (of course we say 'The Body and Blood of Christ' because heaven forbid anyone learn a little bit of Latin!!) the priest's homily was about how we are all the body of Christ (what drivel! we could hear about that at any other Sunday Mass - how about a homily about the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist!). I am bitter that the homilies we hear don't really educate us about things that matter! I am bitter that 'community' and being a 'welcoming community' is more important than the sacraments and offering the sacraments.

I don't know what to do. I told myself that this summer I wasn't going to complain if I couldn't do something about whatever I'm complaining about, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to affect change. (Please remember that I'm a parish staff member; me and another staff member are conservative in that we just want things done the way they should be and everyone else is very liberal.) Please pray for me and my parish. We need it badly.

p.s. the first person to say something like "I'm glad I attend 'such and such' church and we don't have these problems" - or says something to the effect of "This is what you get with Vatican II" gets their post deleted.

[prose]

Double post.

Edited June 11, 2007 by prose

[prose]

I know how you feel! I have people walk in after all the readings, go up for communion, and leave. I can't believe it sometimes.

A lot of stuff I am okay with letting slide, but sometimes I want to yell "HEY!! This is MASS!!! What are you thinking??!?!?".

I get frustrated that people sit in the adoration chapel and pray rosaries all through Mass, and don't even listen to the homily, readings or anything.

But, one parishioner at a time. That is what I remind myself. Just one. Teach one youth, and they will teach their parents. Provide one example, and SOMEONE will follow.

I will pray for you.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I know how you feel. It drives me nuts to see so much irreverence (let alone my own after I realize that I've been irreverent).

I suppose the hard part to remember is that Jesus loves each and every one of them so much that He subjects Himself to it freely. We need to love them just the same, pointing them toward better devotion while at the same time accepting the way things are as perhaps something we just have to put up with for a short while in order to draw them in. I know, for instance, that if people were acting irreverently at Mass and I went up to them and confronted them, they would only be turned off by what they thought was just some adult jerk trying to push them around. If instead I overlook what they are doing (often without malicious intent, afterall, and therefore far more forgiveable than otherwise) and try to minister to them, they will hopefully be more willing to listen later.

I realize that's a bit idealistic, but if it's the way God operates in response to all the times I'm not devoted enough, then that method will work for me. Of course, I also realize that you already know all this and your situation is considerably more difficult (my pastor is very willing to work with me). Just trying to support you.

God bless you, Lil Red,

Micah

[mortify]

Have you ever visited an indult? I know this doesn't sound like much of a solution, but I think the best thing to do is to physically and financially support parishes that faithfully follow Catholicism and cultivate the growth of your own faith, and in my experience Latin Mass does that better than anything else. The only thing you can do for a parish that is top to bottom indifferent is to pray for the laity and clergy.

I'm sure this isn't much help, but believe me, many have a sense of despair as you do. Just remember God has everything planned out and that He wont abandon us.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='mortify' post='1292877' date='Jun 11 2007, 12:17 PM']Have you ever visited an indult? I know this doesn't sound like much of a solution, but I think the best thing to do is to physically and financially support parishes that faithfully follow Catholicism and cultivate the growth of your own faith, and in my experience Latin Mass does that better than anything else. The only thing you can do for a parish that is top to bottom indifferent is to pray for the laity and clergy.

I'm sure this isn't much help, but believe me, many have a sense of despair as you do. Just remember God has everything planned out and that He wont abandon us.[/quote]
She works for a parish as a youth minister. She should go to Mass there.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='mortify' post='1292877' date='Jun 11 2007, 11:17 AM']Have you ever visited an indult? I know this doesn't sound like much of a solution, but I think the best thing to do is to physically and financially support parishes that faithfully follow Catholicism and cultivate the growth of your own faith, and in my experience Latin Mass does that better than anything else. The only thing you can do for a parish that is top to bottom indifferent is to pray for the laity and clergy.

I'm sure this isn't much help, but believe me, many have a sense of despair as you do. Just remember God has everything planned out and that He wont abandon us.[/quote]
there are no indults in my diocese. there are no TLMs in my diocese (at least that are inside the Catholic church). my diocese is extremely liberal (spots here and there that aren't, though).

[quote name='Raphael' post='1292882' date='Jun 11 2007, 11:19 AM']She works for a parish as a youth minister. She should go to Mass there.[/quote]


what bothers me is this:

if dressing up doesn't matter...
if coming on time doesn't matter...
if staying until Mass is done doesn't matter...
if you don't believe in the Eucharist...
if you don't agree with the Catholic Church on much of anything...

...why bother coming at all?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

PS - I'll be at NCYC...maybe I can finally meet you.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='St. Benedict']For the reasons you mention I like to support Tridentine Latin Masses. I do find them to be extremely reverent - a oasis of beauty in the midst of a desert. The homilies are educating and the Eucharist is revered and worshipped greatly by all present.[/quote]
this is exactly the kind of post i was talking about when i said this:

[quote]p.s. the first person to say something like "I'm glad I attend 'such and such' church and we don't have these problems" - or says something to the effect of "This is what you get with Vatican II" gets their post deleted.[/quote]

[prose]

Because Gad is calling them somehow. They know they should, but they don't know why. It is a step. A small one, but it is better than watching football.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1292894' date='Jun 11 2007, 12:44 PM']...why bother coming at all?[/quote]
Minimalism. People believe in God (all people do, even atheists, except that they fear Him) and think that as long as they put in the minimal effort, God won't completely abandon them. As long as they're someone who's "worse," some people will convince themselves that they won't be going to hell, because they'd have to be that worse person.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Raphael' post='1292873' date='Jun 11 2007, 11:15 AM']I know how you feel. It drives me nuts to see so much irreverence (let alone my own after I realize that I've been irreverent).

I suppose the hard part to remember is that Jesus loves each and every one of them so much that He subjects Himself to it freely. We need to love them just the same, pointing them toward better devotion while at the same time accepting the way things are as perhaps something we just have to put up with for a short while in order to draw them in. I know, for instance, that if people were acting irreverently at Mass and I went up to them and confronted them, they would only be turned off by what they thought was just some adult jerk trying to push them around. If instead I overlook what they are doing (often without malicious intent, afterall, and therefore far more forgiveable than otherwise) and try to minister to them, they will hopefully be more willing to listen later.

I realize that's a bit idealistic, but if it's the way God operates in response to all the times I'm not devoted enough, then that method will work for me. Of course, I also realize that you already know all this and your situation is considerably more difficult (my pastor is very willing to work with me). Just trying to support you.

God bless you, Lil Red,

Micah [/quote]
my y.m. friend told me "one soul at a time" and pray pray pray. i don't do as much of that as i should.

[quote name='Raphael' post='1292895' date='Jun 11 2007, 11:45 AM']PS - I'll be at NCYC...maybe I can finally meet you.[/quote]
we can try! :

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='prose' post='1292898' date='Jun 11 2007, 12:46 PM']Because Gad is calling them somehow. They know they should, but they don't know why. It is a step. A small one, but it is better than watching football.[/quote]
Yeah, that too. I think it's a combo...they know they're called, but they still want their own way.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='prose' post='1292898' date='Jun 11 2007, 11:46 AM']Because God is calling them somehow. They know they should, but they don't know why. It is a step. A small one, but it is better than watching football.[/quote]
true, thank you for the reminder.

one soul at a time, right?

p.s. were you trying to sound like a Blues Brother by saying "Gad"?

:

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1292903' date='Jun 11 2007, 12:50 PM']true, thank you for the reminder.

one soul at a time, right?

p.s. were you trying to sound like a Blues Brother by saying "Gad"?

:[/quote]