What Next?

[cathoholic_anonymous]

My time at university is slipping by much more quickly than I thought it would. I only have one year left before graduation. I need to start praying seriously about what to do afterwards.

Here are my principal options:

1.) Ask for my entrance papers to Carmel on the day I graduate.
2.) Grant my spiritual director's request and work with her for a year as a youth leader and catechist at a retreat house. I would be able to live alongside a community of apostolic Dominican sisters for the full twelve months.
3.) Spend a year in some other Catholic setting (i.e. Youth 2000 mission work).
4.) Do some postgraduate study, combining pastoral theology and psychology. (This would equip me for work with people who have mental health problems.)

Your prayers would be appreciated.

[hoosieranna]

You've got them. Good luck.

[Lena]

It looks like you've fully explored your options (and that's great you have so many open fields to potentially pursue!).

I guess the only question you can ask yourself is what is going to challenge or enhance you the most, in a positive way. For example, if you love learning, studying new things, then post-grad work might be where you'd be the happiest. Or what would you regret the most by not doing?

good luck, all of your choices look very interesting!

[SisterAli]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1228386' date='Apr 3 2007, 12:39 PM']My time at university is slipping by much more quickly than I thought it would. I only have one year left before graduation. I need to start praying seriously about what to do afterwards.

Here are my principal options:

1.) Ask for my entrance papers to Carmel on the day I graduate.
2.) Grant my spiritual director's request and work with her for a year as a youth leader and catechist at a retreat house. I would be able to live alongside a community of apostolic Dominican sisters for the full twelve months.
[b]3.) Spend a year in some other Catholic setting (i.e. Youth 2000 mission work).[/b]

If you are looking towards this just to throw some options out there that I know of also....and if you need more information let me know!

*NET ministries
*Steubenville conferences
*FOCUS missionary
*The Lord's Ranch

God Bless and my prayers!

4.) Do some postgraduate study, combining pastoral theology and psychology. (This would equip me for work with people who have mental health problems.)

Your prayers would be appreciated.[/quote]

[be_thou_my_vision]

A lot can happen in a year... just wait and see what happens. <3

[Piamaria]

I'll be praying for you. It sounds like you have many wonderful options.

[Divine_Mercy504]

[quote name='be_thou_my_vision' post='1228464' date='Apr 3 2007, 03:24 PM']A lot can happen in a year... just wait and see what happens. <3[/quote]

I agree...a lot of things changed for me this year. Things that I [i]never[/i] imagined would have happened! ...and don't forget to pray about it

Rachel

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote]A lot can happen in a year... just wait and see what happens. <3[/quote]

I know...it's just that I received my college's careers manual not long ago, together with some e-mails inviting me to attend various careers events. That made me realise how close graduation is getting. I've been in the foyer of the Careers Service; the racks are full of literature about becoming a lawyer or an investment banker. What do you think I should say when I go for my consultation? "I hope to become a nun. Do you have any brochures from good religious orders?"

But I'm going to be patient (providing I can learn patience quickly) and abide by God's time. Thank you all for your prayers. I am so grateful to this phamily.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1228850' date='Apr 4 2007, 07:51 AM']I know...it's just that I received my college's careers manual not long ago, together with some e-mails inviting me to attend various careers events. That made me realise how close graduation is getting. I've been in the foyer of the Careers Service; the racks are full of literature about becoming a lawyer or an investment banker. What do you think I should say when I go for my consultation? "I hope to become a nun. Do you have any brochures from good religious orders?"

But I'm going to be patient (providing I can learn patience quickly) and abide by God's time. Thank you all for your prayers. I am so grateful to this phamily.[/quote]

I am going to say something that many others might disagree with, but based on my own experiences, run, don't walk to the nearest convent as soon as you graduate. There are no guarantees in this life as to how long you will live, and even if you live to the ripe old age of 54 like me, you might turn around and say, "Wow, I am a RN and have 4 degrees including a Masters, and I have been published and have been a foster mom and raised two adopted kids and - hey wait - why aren't I in a convent? What has happened to the last 30 years of my life????

God has waited for me, but I wish I hadn't waited to enter.... at my baptism ceremony, 30 years ago, the Monsignor told the congregation that I was being baptized so that I could enter the convent and become a nun! That Monsignor died last month of old age --- he never saw me enter.

Please don't try to do everything in the world first. If God is calling you, answer Him, don't make Him wait for you.

Just my very humble opinion.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Hello nunsense,

Thank you for your post. That gave me a lot to think about.

Looking at the options I listed above, all of them are routes to religious life - either contemplative or apostolic. If I become an active religious, I would like to participate in an apostolate that helps young people generally and those who have mental health problems specifically. If I become a cloistered Carmelite, I know that this would still be a part of my vocation - I already pray for people with such difficulties every day, asking St Benedict Joseph Labre for his intercession. If I were in Carmel, I expect I could also keep up my correspondence with various young people who are in psychiatric care. They say that my letters keep them from feeling too lonely, and I don't suppose the prioress would object.

Hopefully my live-in at Quidenham during the summer should help me to discern where I am called to be. At the moment I am deeply drawn to the cloister. When I genuflected in front of the tabernacle the last time I was there, I heard an interior voice saying, "You'll be back" and a big grin spread all over my face.

It's hard to listen to God in my kind of environment. I've been blessed with a good brain (well, good in parts) and my family and friends have visions of me following some stupendous career path. I wrote an award-winning book at sixteen and took my exams early. Three of the subjects I took in sixth-form (the last two years of hig school) were self-taught. Then I got the best mark in the country for my English papers when I graduated from sixth-form. There was even a story about it in the national news.

People keep reminding me of all this when I hint that I'm considering the convent. The most common phrase is "It seems such a waste". But I don't feel as if I'm going to waste. In fact, I can hardly wait.

But this does mean that I can't trust the advice of most people. I have two wonderful friends who are supporting me the whole way, one a cradle Catholic whose father is a priest (formerly an Anglican vicar) and one a recent convert from Evangelicalism who is practically on fire with enthusiasm for everything. But other people keep trying to lure me away from the idea, by promising me some funds to travel the world or telling me what a fabulous journalist/PhD student/linguistic scientist I'd make. This is why I know that whatever happens after Cambridge, it must be something Catholic. Otherwise I will just get sucked out of the loop.

Another confusing thing: my spiritual director and my priest are both urging me to consider the Dominican sisters. They say that I could be very happy there as my mind and talents are suited to the apostolic Dominican way of life. But this makes it sound almost as if I'm choosing a career, which I'm not. I don't feel at all drawn to Dominican spirituality. I went on a St Thomas Aquinas philosophy weekend at Stone Convent and while the academic stuff was great, the actual place left me...cold. I know that priests and spiritual directors don't get everything right, but how much attention should I pay to this suggestion?

[quote]God has waited for me, but I wish I hadn't waited to enter.... at my baptism ceremony, 30 years ago, the Monsignor told the congregation that I was being baptized so that I could enter the convent and become a nun! That Monsignor died last month of old age --- he never saw me enter.[/quote]

He may see it now. He's probably got a ringside seat!

God bless you, Annie, and thank you for your advice.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1229385' date='Apr 4 2007, 07:36 PM']Hello nunsense,

Thank you for your post. That gave me a lot to think about.

Looking at the options I listed above, all of them are routes to religious life - either contemplative or apostolic. If I become an active religious, I would like to participate in an apostolate that helps young people generally and those who have mental health problems specifically. If I become a cloistered Carmelite, I know that this would still be a part of my vocation - I already pray for people with such difficulties every day, asking St Benedict Joseph Labre for his intercession. If I were in Carmel, I expect I could also keep up my correspondence with various young people who are in psychiatric care. They say that my letters keep them from feeling too lonely, and I don't suppose the prioress would object.

Hopefully my live-in at Quidenham during the summer should help me to discern where I am called to be. At the moment I am deeply drawn to the cloister. When I genuflected in front of the tabernacle the last time I was there, I heard an interior voice saying, "You'll be back" and a big grin spread all over my face.

It's hard to listen to God in my kind of environment. I've been blessed with a good brain (well, good in parts) and my family and friends have visions of me following some stupendous career path. I wrote an award-winning book at sixteen and took my exams early. Three of the subjects I took in sixth-form (the last two years of hig school) were self-taught. Then I got the best mark in the country for my English papers when I graduated from sixth-form. There was even a story about it in the national news.

People keep reminding me of all this when I hint that I'm considering the convent. The most common phrase is "It seems such a waste". But I don't feel as if I'm going to waste. In fact, I can hardly wait.

But this does mean that I can't trust the advice of most people. I have two wonderful friends who are supporting me the whole way, one a cradle Catholic whose father is a priest (formerly an Anglican vicar) and one a recent convert from Evangelicalism who is practically on fire with enthusiasm for everything. But other people keep trying to lure me away from the idea, by promising me some funds to travel the world or telling me what a fabulous journalist/PhD student/linguistic scientist I'd make. This is why I know that whatever happens after Cambridge, it must be something Catholic. Otherwise I will just get sucked out of the loop.

Another confusing thing: my spiritual director and my priest are both urging me to consider the Dominican sisters. They say that I could be very happy there as my mind and talents are suited to the apostolic Dominican way of life. But this makes it sound almost as if I'm choosing a career, which I'm not. I don't feel at all drawn to Dominican spirituality. I went on a St Thomas Aquinas philosophy weekend at Stone Convent and while the academic stuff was great, the actual place left me...cold. I know that priests and spiritual directors don't get everything right, but how much attention should I pay to this suggestion?
He may see it now. He's probably got a ringside seat!

God bless you, Annie, and thank you for your advice.[/quote]

First, it is true that Monsignor Barry can see me know, and I not only pray for his soul, but ask him to pray for me to our Lord, since he is already in Heaven I am sure.

Of course, no one can really give you better advice than the Lord, so it is important to be listening to him very closely. During the next year, much could happen, so remember to keep focused on Him at all times.

I can talk to you about the honors of this world however and how little they mean. I was a straight-A student in school but had to leave early to help my mother support her 7 children when my father deserted her. I earned my degrees the hard way, working full-time and studying part-time. While doing this, I also discovered God, and spent time working with the Missionaries of Charity because I admired Mother Teresa so much. I received religious instruction from their priest (a Jesuit) and was baptized in 1977. I thought I was going to be a nun, but I knew that God wasn't calling me to Mother Teresa's order, so I visited lots of others - all active. None of these communities called to my heart, so I thought I wasn't meant to be a nun. The idea of being a contemplative never entered my mind at that point in time.

I worked as a psychiatric nurse (your interest in mental health is very similar to mine) for 10 years and then as a teacher and finally as a professor and department chair at a university. During my life I have done a lot to help abused children and also rescue animals (horses mainly). Two years ago, when I realized that this world was not going to fulfil me, I gave it all up to become a horse trainer, thinking that following my heart would give me more peace. I love horses and working with them was a joy, but still it wasn't enough.

Last December, I finally woke up inside and realized that nothing was going to fulfil me until I entered a convent. My adopted daughter was turning 18 and wanting to move on with her own life (albeit badly). I consigned her to Mary's care and then began the search again. This time I discovered that the reason I wasn't called to any of those other communities was because God wanted me to be a contemplative nun. It might not make sense, since I have so many practical skills that he could use, but that is what He told me. So, I found a Poor Clare community that totally needed my skills. They run a min-horse ranch in Texas to support their monastery, and they are contemplative as well. The Mother Abbess was very interested in having me come visit, and I told myself that here I could have my horses as well as God! She was warm and welcoming and told me that I could help her revitalize the community and increase vocations (they were down to 4 nuns).

But did God think this was a good idea? No. My God is a jealous God and He wanted me to love Him even more than I love horses! I knew I couldn't enter there even though my family thought this would be a great place for me. They said the convent could use my skills to help it grow again. It was close enough for them to visit, and according to them, I would have horses to make it bearable if it got too tough for me! It all seemed so sensible to them, especially since they couldn't really understand why I would want to enter a contemplative convent anyway! Of course the very things that attracted them to this community, scared the daylights out of me. I was entering to love God alone, and yet this seemed like another active apostolate to me!

My spiritual director is a Cistercian and wanted me to consider either the Cistercians or the Dominicans. He didn't seem all that keen on the Carmelites. Then I found my home, at Wolverhampton Carmel in England. I knew it immediately, but although my spiritual director agreed that perhaps I was being called to Carmel, he wanted me to try US Carmels first. He is a holy and wise priest and I adore him, so I wanted to please him and to be obedient to him. So I emailed 16 US Carmels, and wrote to 50 others. Letters started pouring in from all of these communities, some said come visit, some said apply, some said sorry - too old. One said they would invite me, but it seemed my heart already belonged to a particular Carmel. I started making plans to visit the ones that invited me, but I knew it was pointless so finally I asked my director if I really had to go through all of this when I knew where I was called. And then he told me that he felt the Holy Spirit had spoken to me, and that I should enter Wolverhampton. The relief was tremendous, and I gratefully thanked all of those Carmels that had written and let them know that I had found my home.

My point is that no one knows your heart but you (and Jesus). Although I did act in obedience to the request of my spiritual director, I knew it wasn't right, and he finally saw what I knew in my heart to be true.

Don't act out of a sense of duty to family or friends or even because something seems emminently reasonable. Act according to the Holy Spirit as it reveals itself to your heart. And if you must act out of obedience but you know it is not right for you, then pray to God to help your director know what He wants for you.

I am sure that the disciples of Jesus were told that it was a waste for them to give everything up and to go follow him around the countryside. But how lucky were those who didn't measure their success in life by the rewards of this world.

No small effort is wasted, so if you don't enter for another 30 years, I am sure God will accept you back as he has done for me (the prodigal daughter). But for the sake of your own happiness, never stop listening or answering the call that is within. He will accept the fruit when it is mature, but how much more loving to be able to offer him the whole tree before it bears fruit, flowers and all.

You are in my prayers.

[Totus Tuus]

Prayers for you, CA.

"Do not be afraid"!!

Lauren

[Jennifer]

You have my prayers