Confession

[Quietfire]

Hey Likos!!!
I have missed you! I cant think of how many times I thought of you at Mass during intentions. I am soooooooo happy to see you posting again.

I know that we shouldnt keep personal threads going but I have, have, have to put this in writing since Easter vigil was so awesome. Words cannot truly describe the scene but I will do my pitiful best.

The Church was dark, and I mean DARK!!
Not one light.

The front doors of the Church were opened and the fire was lit outside.
The Bishop then prepared and lit the new Easter candle, we were all (the RCIA group)there to witness it. The prayers and blessings were stunning. Then the Easter candle was carried to the inside entrance to the Church and the outer doors closed.
The only light in the Church was from that candle.
(we, in the meantime...had went around the outside of the Church and entered through a side door to take our seats up front)

We watched as the deacons lit the stationary pew candles slowly moving forward, it took about 15 minutes for all this. As the stationary pew candles were lit, each parishoner lit their own candle from it...passing the flame along. Sharing the light...as it were.
The light slowly grew in intensity foward toward the sanctuary.

Finally, we held lit candles...the only light in the Church.
To look around and see that was amazing.
Singing...waiting for that moment...that moment.

We were all asked to blow out our candles...the moment was near.

Finally..
Suddenly,



[size=4]HE IS RISEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]


ALL the lights in the Church go on...BOOM!
Trumpets, horns, organ, voices....
[size=4]GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST AND PEACE TO HIS PEOPLE ON EARTH[/size]

I still get chills...and it's been two weeks.

We had our very own Adam being baptised and the Bishop had a field day with the same name thing. Adam never saw it coming...but He will never forget it and neither will the rest of us.

As we each entered the sanctuary to receive the Holy Spirit and be called by our chosen name, the Bishop took a moment for each of us personally to speak to us. I wont discuss what we talked about...it's personal...but it made that moment even more special. He, the Bishop, had been involved with my personal situation and has been such a source of strength for me as I approached Easter vigil.
I felt honored and humbled to shake the hand of a man that stood in that ancient succession from the Apostles!!

Oh, the time to receive.... I could not wait and at the same time was terrified.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed.

I had previously decided to receive on the tongue.
For three reasons...First, my husband asked that I do this...as it is more traditional..and that is how he receives. He could never get "into" reception in the hand. To him, there is some reverence lost in that. Remember, this is a personal choice and nothing else.
I had considered receiving in the hand for Easter vigil and thereafter on the tongue. But we discussed it and decided that I would, at some later date, receive in the hand just once...so that I could hold our Lord in my own hand if just for a moment. Think about that the next time you automatically receive the Host in your hand...YOU are holding GOD in your hands. Mind boggling...really!
Secondly, Our late Holy Father Pope John Paul II was never crazy about it either. Although he allowed it, he personally was not a fan. I came to respect him profoundly and wanted to join with him in some small way that evening. I dont know if anyone else recieved on the tongue, as we were initially instructed on how to receive in the hand.
Thirdly...
Micah had once mentioned here that reception on the tongue shows such a personal trust in the priest. He was working through that at the time and explained the difficulty for him to do this, though he did do it. I admired him for dealing with his own personal issue in such a mature way instead of just thinking that he would receive in the hand and not confront it. Although his reasoning was valid for both, he had decided that he would do the more personally difficult option. Way to go bro.
It stuck with me all this time.

When I went up to receive Our Lord's body, blood, soul and divinity..it was the Bishop again who gave the sacrament of the Eucharist.

Ok, I've sat here for five minutes trying to figure out a way to describe it...but I cant...so I wont. I remember once having a dream that when I was to receive for the first time...I would be floating.......so just run with that thought.

I remember walking over to the nun holding the chalise. I remember her saying "Blood of Christ", and I remember answering her, "Amen".
But I will never forget the tastes, smells and feelings I had.
I wont forget my tears as I handed the Chalise back to her or her face when she smiled at me.

I remember going back to my seat and thinking, "My God, I am in you and you are in me now. If I were to die at this moment, I would die the happiest person in the world" All I could think of after that for 10 minutes was "thank you.." (actually, Im still saying that!)

I was a mess....but it was the most joyous mess and I never wanted it to end.
But it did, at least I have it in writing now..for all to see.
My husband told me he was so proud of me for doing this as it was a long road and a difficult one as well.

But my feelings were..
"Where else am I to go Lord, you speak the words of eternal life".

You came not to found a religion, but a Church.
To choose to be anywhere else, would be for me to choose to turn my back on you.


God Bless you all.

Pax

[Sanvean]

Thank you so much for sharing that, Quietfire...

I am so happy for you.

[Brigid]

Quietfire, that was incredible. thank you.

I'm not reminded often enough of just how much God has given us through the Eucharist, and reading your post brought me to tears. I am actually saving all of what you wrote to my computer so I can come back and re-read it in times that I need to remember...

I've been debating receiving on the tongue for a while now, but I was taught to receive in the hand, and everyone in my family (of conservative catholics) receives in the hand. I'm still not sure what I'm going to end up doing, but reading what you wrote helped me.

you're in my prayers!!

[Quietfire]

Update time.

Today my husband got word from the Archdiocese of New York in reference to his first marriage, that a decree of nullity was granted.


Who's coming to my wedding?!

I'll post the date soon!!!

WOOT!
Thank you God!!!

Edited June 7, 2007 by Quietfire

[homeschoolmom]

Cool beans... pass the wedding cheesecake.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Quietfire' post='1290468' date='Jun 7 2007, 06:18 PM']Update time.

Today my husband got word from the Archdiocese of New York in reference to his first marriage, that a decree of nullity was granted.
Who's coming to my wedding?!

I'll post the date soon!!!

WOOT!
Thank you God!!![/quote]


Yes!

-- Carmen

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Quietfire' post='1290468' date='Jun 7 2007, 03:18 PM']Update time.

Today my husband got word from the Archdiocese of New York in reference to his first marriage, that a decree of nullity was granted.
Who's coming to my wedding?!

I'll post the date soon!!!

WOOT!
Thank you God!!![/quote]
what wonderful and blessed news! i am so proud of you and your husband

[Quietfire]

Red, that baby is gorgeous!!!!


The date....
June 29.

That's in 17 days.

the Bishop has requested to officiate the ceremony.