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I Love You


SallyCat

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Another thing about today...a couple people have asked me what i'm doing this weekend and if i'd be around. well, since they asked i told them that i was going on TEC...the responses i got, i guess i should have expected, but those that i've been sharing with at school from the time i was close-minded about Catholics and CL to now, they've seen the change yet they continue to ask me ARE YOU GETTING SUCKED INTO THIS WHOLE CATHOLIC THING? they continue to be closed about anything i tell them just because it is Catholic. These that i would call my friends from OCU are telling me that i am stupid, that i am wrong, that i am not following God. Why did this hurt so much? what caused this pain that made me defend what i'm doing. i had to ask how they could say that the denomination they were in was RIGHT? are they so arrogant and proud to think that theirs is the one following God and the rest are lost? They told me i was putting myself in situations that i had no business being in, that i was subjecting myself to anything but God, that i was wrong and i should think about what i'm doing and GET OUT BEFORE I GET SUCKED IN TOTALLY....i sat there in the midst of them talking and only asked them if they knew for sure their denomination was the right and only one...and asked them to pray for me this weekend as i make this TEC....but in my silence while i listened to them, all i could think, do they love me for who i am, do they love me for me? do they really love me? They wouldn't even listen to what i had to say just because i was "talking about my Catholic friends and the Catholic church"--when they said that i said "no, i'm talking about my friends here, that love me no matter what denomination i am, but love me for who i am"....in ways, no i don't expect them to respond by being happy for me, but in a way, i expected they would still love me and respect what i said and not judge just because they don't totally see what its all about.....

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So, i've been approached a couple of times (here at home) about my post on this thead, and i've been asked to give my thoughts on it....

how to say "i love you" WITHOUT saying the phrase "i love you"?

So, i've beening thinking about this alot and here is what i've come up with.

Here is what i need to hear to know somebody is loving me....

I'll stay with you.

I'll wait for you.

Uh...really think about it...When sombody says "I'll stay with you" and really means "I'll stay with you" then they are saying that no matter what, i'll stay by your side, in the bad, in the good, when you hurt me, when i'm afraid, when i'm imbarassed by you, when i'm imbarassed by myself, etc.......i'll stay with you and i'm not going to choose to go away because with you I am more myself. THAT'S HUGE.

ok..."i'll wait for you". personally, i think this one holds a heavier sense of love. I'll wait for you can mean so many different things, but the one i'm talking about is when that person you choose to be with, who you choose to give you're all to, who you choose to "stay with", be it friend or spouse or family, just isn't there when you need them the most, who may not be there spiritually, who has seemed to stop growing, searching, living and may even be caught in the nothingness of life..........but, b/c of your love for them, you say to them...I'll wait for you...I'll wait for you to catch up, I'll wait for you to find your way, I'll wait for you to see what God want's you to see, I'll wait for you to love me, I'll wait for you to love Him, I'll wait for you to see the beauty, I'll wait for you to want to. Even when it gets rough, and hurts beyond you can imagine, you choose to wait. Wait like Christ waits...... for me.

Is anybody able to understand what i'm talking about. I enjoyed everybodys response to my challenge. Thank You. I hope you're able to enjoy mine as well.

That's when i know someone loves me.

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I just watched "Return to Me" tonight with two friends....there was a line in there, there was more than this one, but right now i want to share this one with you....i want to know what your thoughts are about it, how it makes you feel, and what this person is crying out for....k, here goes....i can't remember it word for word, but here goes....

"i want to run away just to see if someone will run/come after me".....

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Good movie. And a good line. it definitely makes me think.

I can say that I echo what the person is saying. There have been many times in my life that I have wanted to run away just to see if someone would come after me. I think it's a cry to know that we are loved. Because if someone follows us, if someone comes after us, we are assured that they refuse to give up on us, we are assured that they love us.

I think it's the cry of someone who is confused about how they feel, and if they are loved. Many times in my own life, I have felt like I was alone, felt unloved, even though I knew that I had friends, family who loved me dearly. But, when we feel unloved, when we feel alone, we desperately want and need to be reassured that they people in our life love us. And knowing that someone would follow us when we run away from them is reassurance of their love.

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Good movie. And a good line. it definitely makes me think.

I can say that I echo what the person is saying. There have been many times in my life that I have wanted to run away just to see if someone would come after me. I think it's a cry to know that we are loved. Because if someone follows us, if someone comes after us, we are assured that they refuse to give up on us, we are assured that they love us.

I think it's the cry of someone who is confused about how they feel, and if they are loved. Many times in my own life, I have felt like I was alone, felt unloved, even though I knew that I had friends, family who loved me dearly. But, when we feel unloved, when we feel alone, we desperately want and need to be reassured that they people in our life love us. And knowing that someone would follow us when we run away from them is reassurance of their love.

At the Diaconia, this was said "loving with desperation means condemning them to death"...what does this mean to you?

i wrote this long response...but somehow i pushed the escape button and it erased everything...so, i have spent my only 15minutes of freetime responding and this is all i have to show for it...i apologize...but will think about things some more and when i get time(when i make time) i will respond further...

but the end of my response was...how do we move from the state of questioning, wondering if we are truly loved, if someone will run after us if we leave, if someone will stand in front of you, wait for you, struggle with you through those times, if we are loved enough for someone to really love us without conditions...i believe this is where Trusting God becomes of great importance...how do we get to the point of KNOWING WE ARE LOVED, KNOWING WE ARE CARED ABOUT, GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE WE DON'T WONDER IF SOMEONE WILL LEAVE US WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH OR THEY DISAGREE BUT KNOWING YOU'RE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO STAY WITH....WE MUST GET TO THIS POINT OF KNOWING AND NOT WONDERING....fear brings us these thoughts of wondering, fearing, hurting b/c we don't really know if we are loved....

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So, I was thinking some more about this quote. This idea of needing to run away and be followed to know that we are loved. I think this is where our pride gets the better of us. We are too proud to stay in front of someone when we fear that they may not love us. We are too proud to wait for them. So we run away. We run away and hope that they love us enough to follow. And then we end up hurting ourselves more, because many times they are too proud to follow.

I don't know how we get to point where we stop doubting and fully trust that we are loved. I wish i did, because I would be a lot happier. I think it's a step by step process. Every day, we take a step towards trusting in our love, trusting in the relationships (of whatever kind) we have, trusting in Christ's Presence in other people. And by taking these little baby steps, we are brought to a point that is closer to that complete trust, that complete love.

In my own experience, I can look back and see worlds of difference in the person I am now and the person I was a few years ago. I was in a constant state of doubt as to whether I was loved, by anyone: friends, family, sometimes even God. And there has been no significant change, no big epiphany when I realized I was loved, but slowly and surely every day, I have experienced God's love through other people. Sure I still have a long way to go... I still doubt whether people in my life love me. But I know that I am loved, even when I don't always feel like it. I go through periods of doubting (one being right now) but I beg, I pray, and somehow God always shows me that I'm loved. It's usually never how I expect, but in some way I experience His love.

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Amen Katt...you know what's so funny...the part that got erased b/c i pushed the escape button on accident was almost identical to what you said...i just wanted to you tell you I LOVE YOU and you are special!!! The PRIDE does get in they way...it is a continual journey we are on and that we must face....Katt, i am here for you, only a phone call away....

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Schmandi-

I think "I'll wait for you" does some up "I Love you"

Jesus died on the cross for us. He loves us that much!!

No matter where we go, what we do, ect... he is always waiting there for us because He LOVES us!

If we want to love as Jesus loves...we must wait.

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If being good enough one moment and then not the next, do you feel this is a false sense of the word love?? do those who do this to you really love you?

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