Phatmassers That Leave Religious Life.

[Veritas]

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There have been several pm'ers that have entered and then left religious life of late. In light of this, I would just like to ask them, do you think your experience on Vocation Station was helpful? I am a little afraid that our zeal for religious life might encourage a picture that is too idealistic. After all, even though it IS a beautiful way of life, it must be a call -desire and excitement (infatuation) aren't enough. We on our own, can't force a vocation just because we like it and I don't want to enourage an illusion among other young discerners on pm.

That being said, I think it is important to remember that there were many more that have finished their time (postulancy, novitiate, eg) than have left... maybe someone can verify the percentage or numbers?

Thoughts?

Blessings,
V

[VeniteAdoremus]

I think it might be important to stress that no-one here thinks leaving the religious life is "failing". We all know how tough discerning can be, and everything up to perpetual profession is a part of that process!

[Veritas]

[quote name='VeniteAdoremus' post='1191628' date='Feb 11 2007, 01:57 PM']
I think it might be important to stress that no-one here thinks leaving the religious life is "failing". We all know how tough discerning can be, and everything up to perpetual profession is a part of that process!
[/quote]

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Good point. I totally agree. Entering IS about discernment... leaving early though, before the postulancy is even-up, is a little bit of a different thing (in the middle of the year i.e. )... I know from friends it is a very painful thing... so I would spare our fellow discerners that, if possible. Hence, the questions.

Edited February 11, 2007 by Veritas

[Marieteresa]

Sorry if I am a little confused here....are you directing this question to PM'ers who have already left or to fellow PM'ers who are still discerning? I think there are just a few whom are active here whom have left.

[Veritas]

[quote name='Marieteresa' post='1191699' date='Feb 11 2007, 03:17 PM']
Sorry if I am a little confused here....are you directing this question to PM'ers who have already left or to fellow PM'ers who are still discerning? I think there are just a few whom are active here whom have left.
[/quote]

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The former, but anyone can chime in about the topic.

[HisChild]

Hmmm, there were some feelings, especially in private messages to me, that I should jump back into religious life, when I left, or that I wasn't suited to the religious life. And because of some of those comments (I will not share who), I felt a little hesitant to return to posting.

VS is a wonderful resource for those who are discerning religious life, however. I enjoy reading about people's visits, people's love for Christ, and their excitement in entrance.

God bless you.

[Marieteresa]

Denise thats understandable.....I would be very reluctant as well to share my thoughts on here if faced with negative statements like that. But in spite of the negative there are a lot of encouraging people on here who do care.

[stlmom]

Veritas, I agree that some of the posts, while well intended, do ramp up the enthusiasm/emotional aspects of being accepted into the postulancy. It's just part of the makeup of the more youthful posters on this forum to show more emotion here. And no doubt, we all desire affirmation that we are headed towards a way of life that honors God, whatever path is chosen. For some, VS might be the only place to get that affirmation. Still, a little prudence goes a long way. Give encouragement, but save those big hurrahs for final vows. It's all just discernment until then.
One of the reasons why I continue to read and post is to give that word of encouragement from the perspective of the "laywoman in the pew". I am often touched when I see someone return to VS after having to leave postulancy. It confirms that VS is a place of support and friendship among discerners, at least on the public end of it. Just my 2 cents...

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='Veritas' post='1191587' date='Feb 11 2007, 01:15 PM']
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There have been several pm'ers that have entered and then left religious life of late. In light of this, I would just like to ask them, do you think your experience on Vocation Station was helpful? I am a little afraid that our zeal for religious life might encourage a picture that is too idealistic. After all, even though it IS a beautiful way of life, it must be a call -desire and excitement (infatuation) aren't enough. We on our own, can't force a vocation just because we like it and I don't want to enourage an illusion among other young discerners on pm.

That being said, I think it is important to remember that there were many more that have finished their time (postulancy, novitiate, eg) than have left... maybe someone can verify the percentage or numbers?

Thoughts?

Blessings,
V
[/quote]


I also agree with HisChild.

I was discerning a call to religious life and still visit here even though I know I am not called to religious life. However, as a faithful Catholic, I feel that coming here is joyful because there are so many young people in here who have considered religious life, entered, stayed or left. It was an important part of my life and I like sharing with those of the same faith. It is always good to support your Religious. I feel that discerning has allowed me to become a deeper Catholic, rather than be an "on the surface Catholic" just carrying over tradition that was instilled in me as a child wasn't enough for me. I needed to check it out and when I discerned in HS wasn't mature enough like some of the young people on here. My parents were not devout Catholics. Going to mass was a tradition (my parents have since divorced and fallen away and so has my brother) so as I grew out of that and had a more devout grasp on my beliefs as I matured, decided I needed to again in my late 20's to at least consider it in a different light.

God decided after enough time for me that religious life wasn't for me --ut I know the ups and downs of it as well -- like so many people on here. So I can shed a different light on it now. I can come here and have reason to keep praying, be inspired to grow closer to Our Lord and keep in touch with those who helped me through my ups and downs.

I think that we all belong here and it's a good thing!

Peace.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote]I am a little afraid that our zeal for religious life might encourage a picture that is too idealistic. [/quote]

Personally I think it is that zeal that gets us through the monastery door. And I think the idealistic picture we might get from Phatmass is tempered in a healthy way by the stories of vocation stories that didn't work out the first time around.

[quote]After all, even though it IS a beautiful way of life, it must be a call -desire and excitement (infatuation) aren't enough.[/quote]

Desire is necessary; infatuation is not a good thing. The "stardust" phenomenon often happens when the realistic side of a person's decision to enter religious life is not taken into consideration as much as their excitement about the possibility. You need to think about how your personality will blend in with the community, and how you will be able to give and receive in the particular type of religious life you choose. It's good to take your time and not make rash decisions

[quote]We on our own, can't force a vocation just because we like it and I don't want to enourage an illusion among other young discerners on pm.[/quote]

The beauty of religious life is not an illusion. It is truly a reality, and a foreshadowing of Heaven.

I might be misunderstanding what you're trying to say, as this post isn't totally coherent to me. Or maybe it's so deep it's just over my head


erm... my tags aren't working. Is it my computer or did PM change its code... or something? :

[Veritas]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1191991' date='Feb 11 2007, 10:06 PM']
Personally I think it is that zeal that gets us through the monastery door. And I think the idealistic picture we might get from Phatmass is tempered in a healthy way by the stories of vocation stories that didn't work out the first time around.
Desire is necessary; infatuation is not a good thing. The "stardust" phenomenon often happens when the realistic side of a person's decision to enter religious life is not taken into consideration as much as their excitement about the possibility. You need to think about how your personality will blend in with the community, and how you will be able to give and receive in the particular type of religious life you choose. It's good to take your time and not make rash decisions
The beauty of religious life is not an illusion. It is truly a reality, and a foreshadowing of Heaven.

I might be misunderstanding what you're trying to say, as this post isn't totally coherent to me. Or maybe it's so deep it's just over my head
erm... my tags aren't working. Is it my computer or did PM change its code... or something? :
[/quote]

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No, this is good stuff.

[Chiquitunga]

But actually, it is a pretty frequent happening for people to enter as a postulant and then leave realizing it was not their call. How can you know until you try? I don't think it really is related to Vocation Station ... I think it's very sad that some people got negative comments when they left somewhere ... this is between God and the soul .. we should just try to be completely encouraging ...

Each soul and vocation is different, even within the same order .. look at Sr. Nazarena's path .. who could understand her, in and out of several orders, until she found her true calling as an anchoress .. [url="http://www.amazon.com/Nazarena-American-Anchoress-Thomas-Matus/dp/0809137925"]Nazarena: An American Anchoress[/url]

[Totus Tuus]

The whole purpose of the formative period in religious life is to [i]try it out[/i] and see if it is what you were meant to do. You can't [i]try out[/i] marriage, so if you feel even the slightest inkling towards the religious life it is good to try it out before making the lifelong commitment to marriage and then realizing it was not the right choice. Of course, that inkling might be guided towards marriage after some discussion with vocation directors and research of various communities. But like Margaret Clare is saying, people should never, ever criticize someone who has left a community. If they do, it is proof that the person does not himself understand what the postulancy (etc.) are [i]meant for[/i], and so we just need to pray for that person to become more mature

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1191991' date='Feb 11 2007, 10:06 PM']
erm... my tags aren't working. Is it my computer or did PM change its code... or something? :
[/quote]
fixed it for ya. you just had one extra tag and it was (for whatever reason) throwing it off...

[ofpheritup]

To those who have entered religious life and have stayed and to those who have left I would like to say....YOUR DISCERNMENT WORKED. Discernment is a time of testing, either way.

If you have "left religious life" you did not fail. We can only fail when we refuse (deliberately) to serve God. How can I express how wonderful I think you are for trying.

Hold you heads up proudly (I mean it) you are my heroes.
God has closed ONE door, not all doors. Go on be courageous, knock again, don't give up, follow your heart. There are many saints who asked again and again. You are in great company.

I was discerning a vocation to the religious life. I went to visit a community and God said, "Oh wow, do I have the guy for you." I kicked, I screamed, I looked ridiculous. I was married December 2006. He is my heart. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

Again, I am proud of you.