How Did You Come To Know For Sure?

[LouisvilleFan]

I've been tossin' around thoughts of the priesthood for well over a year now and been giving it more serious considation and prayer since I started meeting with a spiritual director a few months ago. That's going well so far. I'm not expecting to know right away exactly what God is calling me to. At a retreat last weekend He emphasized that I need to be patient instead of trying to rush ahead to a definite decision. After all, I can't even go to seminary until summer of fall of 2008 since there's a two-year required waiting period after becoming Catholic. So whether I want to be patient or not, I don't have a choice in the matter

Sometimes I wonder why I'm discerning because I long so much to be married and have kids and other times I'm eager to sacrifice all that for the priesthood, but most of the time it's a mix of the two: there's a strong tug towards the priesthood, except for this one girl. Last April it was one girl I dated for a few months and after that ended and the dust cleared, I was interested in another girl for a short time (about three dates... long enough to figure out I'd rather be a priest than marry her ) and now someone else has slowly crept into the picture. This girl [i]loves[/i] being Catholic and, well, guess I never realized how attractive that can be The only down side is she's about a thousand miles away (but that's neither here nor there... or rather, it is here and there... whatever )

Of course, all this is probably why God stressed to me the need for patience. I'm well aware that I don't need to have it all figured out even when I go to seminary since it's just another part of the discernment process. Still, I'm curious how others finally came to a decision?

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1188569' date='Feb 8 2007, 12:54 PM']
I've been tossin' around thoughts of the priesthood for well over a year now and been giving it more serious considation and prayer since I started meeting with a spiritual director a few months ago. That's going well so far. I'm not expecting to know right away exactly what God is calling me to. At a retreat last weekend He emphasized that I need to be patient instead of trying to rush ahead to a definite decision. After all, I can't even go to seminary until summer of fall of 2008 since there's a two-year required waiting period after becoming Catholic. So whether I want to be patient or not, I don't have a choice in the matter

Sometimes I wonder why I'm discerning because I long so much to be married and have kids and other times I'm eager to sacrifice all that for the priesthood, but most of the time it's a mix of the two: there's a strong tug towards the priesthood, except for this one girl. Last April it was one girl I dated for a few months and after that ended and the dust cleared, I was interested in another girl for a short time (about three dates... long enough to figure out I'd rather be a priest than marry her ) and now someone else has slowly crept into the picture. This girl [i]loves[/i] being Catholic and, well, guess I never realized how attractive that can be The only down side is she's about a thousand miles away (but that's neither here nor there... or rather, it is here and there... whatever )

Of course, all this is probably why God stressed to me the need for patience. I'm well aware that I don't need to have it all figured out even when I go to seminary since it's just another part of the discernment process. Still, I'm curious how others finally came to a decision?
[/quote]

It is wonderful that you feel the call to religious life, even if you aren't sure what to do about it yet. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to be able to answer "yes". The important thing is to trust in God's love for you and allow His grace to manifest in your life. If you fall in love and get married, then your vocation will be as a husband and father. If you enter the seminary, then your vocation will be as a priest. But whatever happens, you can still live a life for God.

It is good that your friend is so committed to being Catholic. That being the case, she will understand what you are going through, and stand by you whatever decision you eventually make. Take time to grow in His love and let things unfold. You have a wise spiritual director - patience is a virtue - one of the hardest ones for me to follow! lol

[traichuoi]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1188569' date='Feb 8 2007, 11:54 AM']
I've been tossin' around thoughts of the priesthood for well over a year now and been giving it more serious considation and prayer since I started meeting with a spiritual director a few months ago. That's going well so far. I'm not expecting to know right away exactly what God is calling me to. At a retreat last weekend He emphasized that I need to be patient instead of trying to rush ahead to a definite decision. After all, I can't even go to seminary until summer of fall of 2008 since there's a two-year required waiting period after becoming Catholic. So whether I want to be patient or not, I don't have a choice in the matter

Sometimes I wonder why I'm discerning because I long so much to be married and have kids and other times I'm eager to sacrifice all that for the priesthood, but most of the time it's a mix of the two: there's a strong tug towards the priesthood, except for this one girl. Last April it was one girl I dated for a few months and after that ended and the dust cleared, I was interested in another girl for a short time (about three dates... long enough to figure out I'd rather be a priest than marry her ) and now someone else has slowly crept into the picture. This girl [i]loves[/i] being Catholic and, well, guess I never realized how attractive that can be The only down side is she's about a thousand miles away (but that's neither here nor there... or rather, it is here and there... whatever )

Of course, all this is probably why God stressed to me the need for patience. I'm well aware that I don't need to have it all figured out even when I go to seminary since it's just another part of the discernment process. Still, I'm curious how others finally came to a decision?
[/quote]

Have you spoken with a Vocations Director? Or your pastor?

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='traichuoi' post='1188619' date='Feb 8 2007, 04:27 PM']
Have you spoken with a Vocations Director? Or your pastor?
[/quote]

Yeah, I've met with them and they put me in touch with a spiritual director. I'm not looking for advice so much as to hear other peoples' stories to learn how God has worked in other lives.

Edited February 8, 2007 by LouisvilleFan

[the_rev]

I asked the Blessed Mother to ask Jesus to send me a sign of my calling. She did, and now I've applied.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='the_rev' post='1188813' date='Feb 8 2007, 06:56 PM']
I asked the Blessed Mother to ask Jesus to send me a sign of my calling. She did, and now I've applied.
[/quote]

Mind if I ask what was the sign you received?

[alicemary]

I have always believed when the time is right, you will be blessed with the needed insight and will to accept what the Lord has planned for your life. You are doing everything right, you are seeking out spiritual guidance. But you must always accept that you are human, and all seek the companionship of another. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. Continue to work with your spiritual director, seems like he will have your best interest at heart.
I am not so sure about asking for a sign. I am sure that happens but you already have a sign, you feel an inclination toward the priesthood. That is a major sign, so say thanks to the Lord for that. You are on the right path, enjoy your life and take the time to enjoy your search for meaning in your life.

[the_rev]

[quote]
Mind if I ask what was the sign you received?[/quote]

I posted it in this thread: [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=64336"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=64336[/url]

[Knight of the Holy Rosary]

I wrestled with discernment since I was a Freshman in Highscool. I agonized over the intense sacrafice of the priesthood (Celibacy, being responsible for souls, the emotional/physical stress), I also thought of the wonderful and mysterious blessings of the sacrament (Absolving a soul from sin, anointing a soul that is approaching death, bringing people into the fullness of the faith, baptising, helping a married couple start their lives together with God first, and greatest of all to be a victim with Christ on the Cross at Mass; uttering the words of consecration with all sincerity saying this is[i] my [/i] body....this is [i]my[/i] blood).

I finally just 'took the plunge' and spoke with my Diocesan Vocations Director about entering seminary. He spoke in a manner I wasn't prepared for. First, he expressed his happiness and excitement for me (we have known each other a long time). But then, he began to discuss the trials of the priesthood, the hardships I would be embracing. When he had finished I felt a little intimidated. He assured me he wasn't trying to 'scare me off' but, he wanted to make sure I knew full well what I was getting into.

I felt like I should have been afraid. But I wasn't. I felt a fire in me I could only identify as the Holy Spirit. This is when I knew for sure.

Where Our Lady is there the Holy Spirit dwells.

I hope this helps.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Knight of the Holy Rosary' post='1189095' date='Feb 8 2007, 11:20 PM']
I felt like I should have been afraid. But I wasn't. I felt a fire in me I could only identify as the Holy Spirit. This is when I knew for sure.
[/quote]

That's the kind of confirmation I'm hoping God to provide when it's time to know for sure. Sometimes I identify with St. Peter because he was such an eager follower of Christ (except for that one night at the garden). I'm eager to get my assignment right now and get to work, but the fact is I'm not ready yet. But here's the deal...

I currently have a long-distance friendship that, if I choose to pursue it, will become more than that. Looking back over the past year, last March I was certain my vocation was the priesthood (or thought I was certain) until April, when I met a girl at a wedding. I remember agonizing during Adoration over whether I should pursue that relationship. However, some kind of peaceful sense assured me that God wanted me to date this girl (yes, it sounds cheesy but just go with it ) and I simply had to trust Him that some men (like me) become better priests by taking the scenic route to Holy Orders.

Even though we didn't see each other much because she lived four hours away, I ended up falling in love with her and became certain that we would eventually marry -- until she broke up with me. That sucked, but I drove back to Louisville after the break-up conversation, went to Mass, and continued praying, reading Scripture, etc. during the following week. Doing this had nothing to do with getting over the girl... like breathing, it's just what I do. Well, the following Sunday it hit me that I had just experienced God's presence through prayer and Scripture despite taking a pretty tough blow to the heart... and WHOA! It completely felt like I was in love again! The same happiness and joy that I felt for that girl only a week earlier I suddenly felt for God! It was so awesome... one of those experiences that you can hardly distill into words, but it changes the rest of your life. Whatever my vocation is, I know it'll be all the more joyful and fruitful because I see why God was leading me through that "sidetracking" relationship.

Which brings me to this current long-distance friendship. Although I've felt a tremendous desire for the priesthood at different times, something, like a tiny annoyance, nags at the joy in my heart when I consider giving my life to the Church. Yet the same nagging annoyance is there when I consider giving my life to a wife and family. Obviously, it isn't time for me to know which vocation God has in store for me. Yet I believe I need to wander down this other trail just to see where it goes, trusting there's a reason God is bringing me through this. See, she's become a little concerned that she might be a hinderence to my discernment process and she doesn't want to "fall" for a future priest.... which means I need to figure out what God's put on my heart so I know how to respond. And that's why I'm curious about other peoples' journeys.

All I know is that she definitely isn't leading me away from God. In fact, she helps me me see what is joyful and beautiful about Catholicism and that only helps my discernment process as it enlivens my relationship with God.

And that's all I need to know for now... Abraham didn't need to know where the Promised Land was to follow God there; he simply took each step as God told him where to go.

-Jason

P.S. Feels good to write all that, whether or not anyone reads it or replies

Edited February 11, 2007 by LouisvilleFan

[the_rev]

I read it my friend and I can identify with most of it and even though I have been unofficially accepted as a seminarian I can definitly still identify with you even this night as I sit typing away at my keyboard.

[Totus Tuus]

Well, the best advice I have heard for people in your situation is this:

You can [i]try out[/i] the seminary. You can't [i]try out[/i] marriage. If you feel the slightest call to the priesthood, try it out! If it's not for you, then you will certainly be the better for having had the experience, and will be able to use that experience in a marriage and family life

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1193065' date='Feb 12 2007, 11:16 PM']
Well, the best advice I have heard for people in your situation is this:

You can [i]try out[/i] the seminary. You can't [i]try out[/i] marriage. If you feel the slightest call to the priesthood, try it out! If it's not for you, then you will certainly be the better for having had the experience, and will be able to use that experience in a marriage and family life
[/quote]

True, but you gotta admit it's much easier to follow that advice when you aren't talking to a wonderful Catholic girl every day I'm sure my spiritual director will have some good advice, but we don't meet again for two or three weeks (he's recovering from surgery right now, so it might be longer than that).

I really believe I can trust God to handle the situation if I go ahead and pursue this relationship, whereas when I consider passing it by and pushing towards the priesthood, it feels more like I'm running from something. And while that involves the risk of her turning me down and then me facing what to do then, I'm going to trust that God will lead us to a mutual decision regardless of the outcome.

[cmaD2006]

I've been in this discernment path for years now (it all started in 1995). BUT -- there was one defining moment. Back in 1997, after two whole years of "yes, no, maybe, but, how, this is crazy, now way, but maybe" I had a grace filled moment. I remember that I was at a week long parish retreat, and there was this one evening where we were praying before the Blessed Sacrament. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed with fear. After that prayer time, I went straight to the priest and to one of the lay persons leading the retreat and told them what had just happened, that I was so scared to make a decision in either direction (I didn't want to make the wrong decision). The priest prayed with me; and I remember afterwards all I could say was "I'm ok, I'm ok" (but I was so stressed from the experience).

Well, I think it was either that same evening, or the following evening, I was driving on I-95; on my way home from the retreat. I'm talking to the Lord in my car, and in the middle of the conversation I told the Lord "You know what? I do want to become a sister, yes." And it stuck.

Next morning, I couldn't believe it. But it didn't waiver. That evening at the retreat, I got a confirmation from the Lord during another prayer moment. The leader was praying for forgiveness, and the whole prayer was penitential in nature. But I was lead in another direction -- I felt the Lord wrapping me in His presence, and all I could do is say yes; and I was overwhelmed with this awesome peace and joy.

Ever since then -- I've had some moments of doubt but not the waivering. My doubts came most strongly once I left the first community I had been with. But even through the doubts, there was still something in me that couldn't let the idea of becoming a sister go.

Trust that the Lord will let you know in due time. I remember when I first started to discern, and a parish priest confirmed that he knew I was being called to religious life (I confided in the priest and told him, one of maybe 2 or 3 people who I told at the time). My question to him was "how do I know when I find the right place". His response was simply "you just know". He was so right.

God bless you and keep you.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' post='1202266' date='Feb 22 2007, 03:15 AM']Well, I think it was either that same evening, or the following evening, I was driving on I-95; on my way home from the retreat. I'm talking to the Lord in my car, and in the middle of the conversation I told the Lord "You know what? I do want to become a sister, yes." And it stuck.[/quote]

Yes, I've had countless moments like that related to priesthood, marriage, and other specific things God might be calling me towards, but none of them have really stuck. It's all left me feeling exhausted. For now, I'm refusing to entertain any thoughts like, "God might be calling me to..." There are too many voices and thought processes and I'm clueless about which one is God's.

[quote name='cmariadiaz' post='1202266' date='Feb 22 2007, 03:15 AM']I remember when I first started to discern, and a parish priest confirmed that he knew I was being called to religious life (I confided in the priest and told him, one of maybe 2 or 3 people who I told at the time).[/quote]

Okay, how do people claim to know stuff like another person's vocation? How did that priest know this about you? This nun once told me, "I know you have a vocation." I had never met her before, we talked for about five minutes, and I've never seen her since. The first time I ever talked to my aunt about Catholicism, she also got the idea in her head that I had a vocation (but she didn't tell me, I heard this fairly recently from my cousin). Do some people make it a habit of dropping mysterious lines like that to any young adult who seems excited about the faith? Are they just trying to encourage me to keep seeking? Why do they have to use the word "vocation," which implies I'm destined to become a priest or brother, if they don't really know? Or do they? And if so, how?