Forgiving Your Abusers

[AccountDeleted]

I know that we are taught to turn the other cheek and to forgive those who trespass against us, but when is it ok to say no to emotional and/or physical abuse?

If the abuser isn't sorry for what they do, and they will defiinitely continue to do it, is it okay to pray for them, but avoid them?

I find it hard to return love those who hurt me, although I can forgive them -- I just don't want to be around them because of the disruption to the peace in my soul.

I know it would be better if I could not only forgive them, but to show them love as well, but since I can't do that right now, is it ok just to stay away for them?

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote]If the abuser isn't sorry for what they do, and they will defiinitely continue to do it, is it okay to pray for them, but avoid them?[/quote]

That is fine. Remember, Jesus taught us to be forgiving. He did not teach us to be doormats. You have every right to keep yourself safe from danger and harm.

I will pray for you.

[Starets]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1171208' date='Jan 20 2007, 05:24 AM']

If the abuser isn't sorry for what they do, and they will defiinitely continue to do it, is it okay to pray for them, but avoid them?

[/quote]

It most certainly is OK to do just that. Forgiveness is not permission. I pray for my abusers, that they can repent and heal. But there is othing in the Christian obligation of forgiveness that also obliges you to open yourself up to further abuse from the same person. That isn't forgiveness, that's borderline sadomasochism.

[Noel's angel]

Unless they repent, you have no obligation to forgive or show love to these people. Your safety is your number 1 priority. Do pray for them, but keep your distance.

Edited January 20, 2007 by Noel's angel

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1171273' date='Jan 20 2007, 11:44 AM']
Unless they repent, you have no obligation to forgive or show love to these people. Your safety is your number 1 priority. Do pray for them, but keep your distance.
[/quote]
We as Christians have an obligation to love all people (as hard as that is). Your forgiving them is a way of loving them. It does not mean that you need to seek them out to love them, but it does mean that if you happen to see them, you have compassion on them and pray for them and show them love. That is the true test of the cross...can you bear its crushing weight and still love those who are pushing it deeper into your shoulders? You will find that the more you love, the less the cross hurts.

God offers us His forgiveness before we are willing to accept it; we should do the same. It's hard, but it's necessary.

That said, it is wise to avoid those who have abused you, at the very least until you feel strong enough to face them (with love). Otherwise, it may be an occasion of sin for you (to hate) and for them (to abuse again). You are not obliged to see the people who abused you ever again, but you are obliged to forgive and, if by chance you see them, to be kind for as long as you are forced to be near them (though you have every right to try to get away).