Proud2BCatholic139 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Phatmassers, I am caught in a pickle. I recently found out one of my best girlfriends is flying out to Ohio in less than 3 weeks to visit her boyfriend. So, if you think about it, it's for valentines day. Well, anyway, she is staying for a weekend, and that is all that I know. Their relationship is pretty serious and I don't know where she is staying and who she is staying with.... Since she and I are both busy with school, she just tells me vague things or doesn't write me at all. If being a concerned friend, I don't know how to bring it up... Do I just trust her judgement, or do I recommend her staying with one of her boy friend's good Catholic female friends... I can't help but be concerned. But, what if she sleeps in his room for the weekend!!! I don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moneybags Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 This is obviously a sensitive situation. However, you must do the right thing - stand up for God and morality. Failure to help another prevent a sin, can be assisting in the sin. Following the example of the saints, I would encourage you to do what you can to make sure she knows it would be a sin to stay with her boyfriend. I suggest you casually bring it up, but it is important to tell her the truth - that to sleep over with him would be a mortal sin. May God reward you and give you the courage for standing up for the Truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 What do you know about the boyfriend? Does he live with his parents? Are they Catholic? If so, they probably would let her sleep in the guest room. Otherwise, do you know any of the female friends? You could ask your friend to tell them you said hi, and ask whether she'd be staying with them... Or... if you're comfortable enough, you could just explain your concerns... tell her that you trust her, but want to protect her, too, because you know "modern times", and she's your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud2BCatholic139 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 He is a college student at FSU, they are Catholic and I know the family real well....but, yeah, from me knowing their relationship, things can get out of control if they put themselves in situations. He just turned 21, and I wouldn't like it if he drinks around her... I have tons of female friends out there that she knows and I hope she makes the right decision... I'll try to bring it up to her. I still have three weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeds Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 I would trust her judgment. If you know someone's sinning, then that's different, but it's not our job to check up on other people. Either that, or ask who she's staying with as a general question, not like "I hope you're not sleeping in the same room as your boyfriend, young lady" kinda thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Does this girl have a history of repeated bad judgements? Is she a terrible judge of character? If you think its really your business and you anwered the above in the affirmative simply ask her what the sleeping arrangements will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Maybe she told you because she wanted advice or to be dissuaded? I mean, I'm sure she likes him but maybe he convinced [i]her[/i] to come. You never know... I would definitely bring it up with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomProddy Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Whatever you decide, it goes without saying you should endeavour to be charitable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didymus Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='Deeds' post='1170785' date='Jan 19 2007, 07:20 PM'] I would trust her judgment. If you know someone's sinning, then that's different, but it's not our job to check up on other people. Either that, or ask who she's staying with as a general question, not like "I hope you're not sleeping in the same room as your boyfriend, young lady" kinda thing. [/quote] i agree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='Proud2BCatholic139' post='1170777' date='Jan 19 2007, 07:05 PM'] He is a college student at FSU, they are Catholic and I know the family real well....but, yeah, from me knowing their relationship, things can get out of control if they put themselves in situations. He just turned 21, and I wouldn't like it if he drinks around her... I have tons of female friends out there that she knows and I hope she makes the right decision... I'll try to bring it up to her. I still have three weeks. [/quote] I would call up those female friends, ask around if they know or have offered to have her stay over and if not, encourage them to do so. If it was one of my good friends, I would be pretty blunt about "opportunities" that would arise by this visit and remind her before the visit to be sure to make good decisions for herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1170873' date='Jan 19 2007, 08:53 PM'] Maybe she told you because she wanted advice or to be dissuaded? I mean, I'm sure she likes him but maybe he convinced [i]her[/i] to come. You never know... I would definitely bring it up with her. [/quote] This is what I was thinking. But since I don't know either of them, it's hard for me to have any clue. I, too, would just be blunt about it. It's our job as friends to keep them from the near occassion of sin as much as possible. We don't need to hold their hand or force them to do things, but encouraging them to do good and reminding them of their end goal (unity with Christ in heaven) is part of the job description. If you're uncomfortable being super blunt about it, just casually ask who she's having a slumber party with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='Proud2BCatholic139' post='1170777' date='Jan 19 2007, 05:05 PM']He just turned 21, and I wouldn't like it if he drinks around her...[/quote]why does that concern you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud2BCatholic139 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 For reasons that is understandable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romans1513 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Its simple... when talking about her visit, just ask her where she's staying for the trip... like, are you excited, how are you getting there/ when does your flight or whatever leave, where do you plan to stay for the weekend... Then you only have to worry about if she says she's staying with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud2BCatholic139 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 Thanks everyone for the advice! God bless you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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