10 Rules For Handling Disagreement Like A Christian

[Guest Jon]

[font="Verdana"]Reading the original post and replying only to the topic of the thread -- I believe
how to handle most things on forums is with Kindness.
If I can picture the other maybe as a 13 yr. old -which many are without telling us !
How would I talk to my child? Jesus certainly had patience with us.
The other thing is we always must watch our own reactions ---as in "Why am I having such a viseral
reaction, anyway? What real difference is it that we don't see eye to eye?"

I find it best to walk away from the post - come back later and read it again ---it is amazing how it reads differently the second time -with time in between!!

Then reply as if the person was your best friend - even tho, maybe an intense friend. Ha!

But, analyzing our own reactions is pretty enlightening!!
I believe [i]the devil uses our emotions so well[/i].

We must learn more about why certain emotions arise - see where they have gotten us in the past,and control them. When we control them - the devil goes, "Well, he's no fun anymore!" And he finally knocks on someone elses's door!
The devil will do anything to take our attention from God ---even feeling all self-righteous because we feel
we are defending something worthy. Ask yourself - how do I feel - "Am I feeling the breadth and depth of God's love...hmmm, or is this ego,that devil in me reacting? What a trickster that devil is -he just took my peace away [u]again[/u]!"

God bless,
Jon's two cents [/font]

[vee]

I like [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEWn7L0i3GI"]this[/url] way of handling disagreement.

[Guest Jon]

[quote name='vee8' date='09 November 2009 - 04:14 PM' timestamp='1257804845' post='1999075']
I like [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEWn7L0i3GI"]this[/url] way of handling disagreement.
[/quote]
I do, too.
Thank you, dear.

[Mark of the Cross]

[quote name='Jon' date='05 November 2009 - 02:16 AM' timestamp='1257347769' post='1996083']
[font="Verdana"]
If I can picture the other maybe as a 13 yr. old -which many are without telling us !
[/font]
[/quote]

How did you find out about me?

[Guest Jon]

[quote name='Mark of the Cross' date='09 November 2009 - 10:34 PM' timestamp='1257827666' post='1999352']
How did you find out about me?
[/quote]
Hi,

Lucky guess. You know He's everywhere, right?


God bless,
Jon

[Resurrexi]

Let us practice the virtues of chivalry.

[KeenanParkerII]

[quote]Let us practice the virtues of chivalry.[/quote]

O'rly

[img]http://www.mbohbot.com/Empire%20Crusader.jpg[/img]

[Guest abchavez]

Great book on this subject:

<h1 class="parseasinTitle">[size="3"]How Not to Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Apologetics[/size][size="3"] [url="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&sort=relevancerank&search-alias=books&field-author=Mark%20Brumley"]Mark Brumley[/url][/size]
</h1>

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

[quote name='KeenanParkerII' date='21 February 2010 - 05:50 PM' timestamp='1266731443' post='2060358']
O'rly

[img]http://www.mbohbot.com/Empire%20Crusader.jpg[/img]


[/quote]


I thought chivalry was about helping old ladies with a frame and women with strollers on and off the carriage(bus)
Verily, Verily
Possibly i'm wrong?Possibly i'm confused, i thought we are to bury old bones and leave them in the graveyard that jesus may resurect them in a glorius manner, thats it chivalry is now what i said, resurected, nothing to do with war horses. Or need we bury this one again? loll i pop, ch ch ch changes, JESUS IZ LORD

Edited April 17, 2010 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[Michele]

hi, i had an experience worth sharing the other day relating to this point you listed:

"2. No Christian has a monopoly on understanding either God's Word or the words of the Scripture. This includes biblical scholars and the most unlearned Christian. All of us must listen to one another as we seek to understand the richness of God's gifts."

The other day, I answered the doorbell. Two modestly dressed individuals asked if i'd like some words of encouragement from the Bible. since i myself like the bible, i agreed. after awhile i even brought my bible off my bookshelf to follow along, and read the footnotes to add to our mini bible study (wherever 2 or 3 are gathered in His name, He is there!) i admit, i was feeling encouraged. the scripture verses they selected quite possibly were ones God truly wanted me to hear at that time, because i felt uplifted. simply because we were opening up the Bible. i'm not even positive what exactly they believed about what the Bible teaches in comparison to what i believe the Magisterium has the authority to teach. perhaps i could've been more disagreeable and started debates to quicken their conversions, but i wasn't in the mood at the time. i just felt like enjoying reading the bible with others. they did ask my faith denomination, and i confessed it to be Catholic-Christian. i didn't ask them which faith sector they followed specifically, and they didn't directly tell me. i wasn't sure if we'd met online in a faith group before, and didn't want to assume that i knew more about the bible than they did. sometimes people don't give away all their spiritual understandings to new acquaintances. sometimes we're reserved in what we profess about ourselves in new circumstances. since they wanted to leave me literature, i made a deal that they'd let me do a book exchange by letting me lend them one of my books (i picked "Making Sense out of Suffering" by Peter Kreeft, since we had mentioned the topic of suffering.) one of them didn't really want a book cuz they said they were confident they have the truth, but the other one let me give the book to them to borrow. so i'm not sure if they were testing me to see if i'd accept or reject that book they were offering, but i chose to use it as an opportunity to figure out different perspectives so i can better refute errors in future. but i don't know if they personally accepted everything explained in the book they were giving me, or if they were just passing it on. now i have the dilemma of what to do with that book, since i disagree with parts of it. i don't want to give the book to someone or promote it because it's not of our teaching. i tried to go through it to see how i could defend Catholic bible teachings if they come back, particularly using John 6 the bread of life discourse. i didn't have the energy at the time to delve into high-level apologetics at the time. i even brought up LOTR to change the subject and look for another mode of fellowship. before they left, i even offered to invite them in for icetea and to sit on the couch for further bible study, but they had to go. anyway, i think it was an encounter which was like a teaching-learning situation for all of us, which could be thought of as miraculous in a way...miraculous in that God can work miracles in the heart through the Holy Spirit teaching through the Word of God.

Edited May 14, 2010 by Michele

[Michele]

[quote name='Michele' date='14 May 2010 - 01:54 AM' timestamp='1273823684' post='2110502']
hi, i had an experience worth sharing the other day relating to this point you listed:

"2. No Christian has a monopoly on understanding either God's Word or the words of the Scripture. This includes biblical scholars and the most unlearned Christian. All of us must listen to one another as we seek to understand the richness of God's gifts."

...i think it was an encounter which was like a teaching-learning situation for all of us, which could be thought of as miraculous in a way...miraculous in that God can work miracles in the heart through the Holy Spirit teaching through the Word of God.
[/quote]

update - one of them returned so i finally got to bring up John 6 the bread of life discourse to try to defend that teaching

[ardillacid]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1168126840' post='1157715']
[url="http://www.catholicvoiceoakland.org/05-09-19/bishopscolumn.htm"]Bishop Allen H. Vigneron's Column[/url]

[b]1. The Rule of Charity: “Charity is primary.”[/b]
This has to be the place to start whenever we disagree with one another: with love. St. Paul said: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Cor. 13:1). No matter how wise my insights or astute my plans, they count for nothing if I do not offer them with love.

Now, that charity is the first and fundamental requirement for all authentic Christian speech does not mean that such speaking can only be weak, but it does mean that whatever is said ought always to be offered respectfully and for the genuine service of others, especially my hearers. In fact, all of St. Paul’s sage advice in the “Hymn to Charity” in 1 Cor. 13 spells out eloquently this “Rule.”

[b]2. The Rule of Publicity: “Think with the mind of the Church.”[/b]
This rule is simply a translation of the Latin axiom “Sentire cum Ecclesia.” This means that, when we disagree, the final measure for judging what’s on target and what’s off the mark is what the Church thinks, not, ultimately, what you think or what I think – not private opinion, but what the Church has said to all to know.

This is the reason I call this the “The Rule of Publicity.” The criterion for our deciding our disagreements is not one’s own private opinions, but the mind of the People of God, what the Church thinks.

In order to apply this rule effectively, we need to use a corollary: “Measure everything against the authoritative documents of the Magisterium.”

The logical question to follow any call for us to “think with the mind of the Church” is: How do I know what that is?

The answer is: “Look in the places where the Church has expressed her mind with authority.” Look in the writings of the Councils and the popes, in the Church’s laws, and in the teachings of her Fathers and Doctors. Any survey or poll, no matter how extensive or accurate, if it contradicts the Magisterium, is not the Church’s mind.

[b]3. The Rule of Legitimate Freedom: “What the Church allows is not to be disallowed.”[/b]
This rule means that in situations where the Church says that a variety of views or opinions is legitimate, I should not impose my option as a mandate on others. For example: we can receive Holy Communion in the hand or on the tongue. Either one is acceptable.

[b]4. The Rule of Catholic Freedom: “There’s something for everybody, but not everything is for everybody.”[/b]
This fourth rule is an extension of the one above. It applies the same sort of respect for diversity to the wider spheres of our common life. This rule is based on the recognition that “It’s a big Church.” God has given gifts of grace in an almost dizzying variety. Some folks are attracted to the Carmelite Third Order, others gather for charismatic prayer. Nobody has to live the Christian life exactly the way I do.

Remember: “Think (and act) with the mind of the Church.” We need to respect every practice or approach that has a legitimate place in the life of the Church, and we cannot make our favorite practice or approach mandatory for others if the Church has not.

[b]5. The Rule of Modesty: “Not all of my causes are God’s causes.”[/b]
Yes, it’s true that in many cases we invest our heart’s devotion because that’s what God commands for all his people. But that’s not necessarily so in every instance. Some of my agendas are mine. It’s right to embark on projects with a zealous desire to give God glory, but I have to remember that while it may be his will for me to take this on, there are cases when it’s not his will for everyone else to join me.

[b]6. The Rule of Integrity: “To do evil in order to accomplish good is really to do evil.”[/b]
Breaking one of God’s commandments is not the way to advance his Kingdom, ever. If, in the service of Christ, I act in an un-Christian way, I become a highly effective ally of the very forces I set out to combat. (Among those who are big “Star War” fans, this rule is sometimes referred to as the “Darth Vader Axiom.”)

[b]7. The Rule of Realism: “Remember that Satan is eager to corrupt my efforts to build up the Kingdom, and he’s smart enough to figure out a way to do it."[/b]
This rule is strong statement about the need for each of us in our disagreements to practice that form of realism, for which the more common name is “humility.” My cause may be right or my view may be true, but I have to watch that their goodness is not corrupted by my infidelity.

[b]8. The Rule of Mystery: “Not all the habits and attitudes which belong to a society governed by a representative democracy are appropriate in the Church.”[/b]
In every age there is a tendency – often unconscious – to shape the life of the Church after the pattern of the secular order of the day. In the Middle Ages, the governance of the Church was often configured to the feudal system of the times, sometimes with very harmful consequences. For example, bishops and abbots were identified with the barons of the nobility.

In our own day, we could make a similar sort of mistake: thinking that the responsibility and authority of the Church’s pastors are of the same sort as that of our elected officials. In such mistaken identifications, what is at work is a forgetting that while the Church is, yes, a human reality, she is also a divine reality, a mystery, unlike any other community every known in the history of the world.

The Church is neither a democracy nor a monarchy. She is the Church, the Lord’s own creation, constituted according to his will and plan.

[b]9. The Petrine Rule: “Nobody ever built up the Church by tearing down the pope.”[/b]
This rule follows quite logically from the one immediately above. The Holy Father’s leadership is part of the Church’s constitution from Christ. Because the pope is not the sort of democratic leader we are accustomed to in civil society, there is a tendency by some observers to characterize his office as a “throwback” to times that we have surpassed, a “burden” for the Catholic people that we would well be freed from. Not so.

The pastoral care we receive from the Holy Father is a great grace, St. Peter’s own service of his fellow disciples continuing to this very day. A great pope makes us a better Church.

[b]10. The Eschatological Rule: “The victory is assured; my job is to run out the clock with style.” [/b]
Christ is risen – truly, body and soul risen and in glory at the Father’s right. He has conquered sin and death and all the forces that threaten us. Whatever is at stake in our trials or conflicts, the certainty of Christ’s victory is not in doubt.

And he promised he would be with us always, until the end of time (cf. Mat. 28:20). He will never leave his Church, and his victory will be ours as long as we abide with him in his Mystical Body.

This rule, of course, is not an excuse for giving less than our full effort to spread the Kingdom; that would be a kind of presumption. However, this rule is a call to remember that there is one Savior, and it’s not you or me. Our mission is to serve the Lord in fidelity and hope, and be ready for him to act, for he surely will.
[/quote]
:bump:

Edited January 22, 2011 by notardillacid

[JenDeMaria]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1168126840' post='1157715']
[url="http://www.catholicvoiceoakland.org/05-09-19/bishopscolumn.htm"]Bishop Allen H. Vigneron's Column[/url]

[b]1. The Rule of Charity: "Charity is primary."[/b]
This has to be the place to start whenever we disagree with one another: with love. St. Paul said: "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Cor. 13:1). No matter how wise my insights or astute my plans, they count for nothing if I do not offer them with love.

Now, that charity is the first and fundamental requirement for all authentic Christian speech does not mean that such speaking can only be weak, but it does mean that whatever is said ought always to be offered respectfully and for the genuine service of others, especially my hearers. In fact, all of St. Paul's sage advice in the "Hymn to Charity" in 1 Cor. 13 spells out eloquently this "Rule."

<snip>
[/quote]

Also, this is amesome. Thank you.

[Guest Aleteia]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1168126840' post='1157715']
[url="http://www.catholicvoiceoakland.org/2005/05-09-19/bishopscolumn.htm"]Bishop Allen H. Vigneron's Column[/url]

[b]10. The Eschatological Rule: “The victory is assured; my job is to run out the clock with style.” [/b]
Christ is risen – truly, body and soul risen and in glory at the Father’s right. He has conquered sin and death and all the forces that threaten us. Whatever is at stake in our trials or conflicts, the certainty of Christ’s victory is not in doubt.

And he promised he would be with us always, until the end of time (cf. Mat. 28:20). He will never leave his Church, and his victory will be ours as long as we abide with him in his Mystical Body.
[/quote]

It is written: « If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead has made his home in you, then he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your own mortal bodies through his Spirit living in you » ( Rm 8, 11 ); St. Agostin says: « The Holy Spirit is possessed in so far as one loves the Church » (In Io., 32, 8) ...

[Mikaele]

"Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence" - 1 Peter 3:15

- Many apologists miss the part about 'gentleness and reverence.'