Chastity

[Sojourner]

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=61947"]The opening post from this thread[/url] makes the statement that chastity is easier for married people.

Now, I can definitely see that some aspects of dealing with chastity would be simpler, because you would have a legitimate forum for expression of sexual desire. And, in the ideal situation you have two people supporting one another in the struggle.

But it seems to me that marriage would bring its own set of struggles in the area of chastity ... not being married, I can't really speak directly to this, only speculate. But if you have a problem with chastity as a single person, getting married is not going to cure that problem, and it seems to me it might even exacerbate it.

[God Conquers]

I dunno...

Alot of the Church fathers seemed to think marriage was an easier route to take , and I'm not entirely certain that's because they didn't really get marriage.

It seems to me (from a single's perspective) that it would be easier, although I do agree that there is clearly new factors to deal with.

Married People? Whaddaya think? You probably have a better idea.

Although I've known couples who have said it made a differencee in their chasteness to be living it with another, instead of just alone.

[BurkeFan]

I would think that those who are experiencing the beatific vision would be the ones to find chastity the easiest . There are graces that go along with marriage that, I'm sure, are helpful in chastity. It's hard to say in that it's about developing in virtue, and the best way for one person to develop in virtue isn't the same as another person. Some are called to chastity in marriage, others to chastity in a convent, etc.

[quote name='God Conquers' post='1144480' date='Dec 17 2006, 03:49 PM']
I dunno...
Although I've known couples who have said it made a differencee in their chasteness to be living it with another, instead of just alone.
[/quote]

That makes quite a bit of sense, if there is genuine love there (which I'm sure is why most people on PM get married), in that chastity becomes more clearly for the sake of your beloved, in a very visible and palpable way.

[rkwright]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1144409' date='Dec 17 2006, 01:06 PM']
But if you have a problem with chastity as a single person, getting married is not going to cure that problem, and it seems to me it might even exacerbate it.
[/quote]

I think thats kinda the bottom line. Chastity does not stop at the wedding day or once one is ordained. Being human, including the passions do not stop once one has found their vocation.

In our day and time, with sex marketing, wide spread pornography, and a general lack of value in mariage (50% divorce rate), societies view on contraception, I don't think being married lessens any of the challenges of a single person. They may manifest in a different way, but they still exist.

Do you think the Devil would give up so easily just because someone is married?

[Theoketos]

Chasity does not stop when you are married, but in my case it became alot easier. Though I had a handle on many things way before the wedding date.

[Socrates]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1144409' date='Dec 17 2006, 02:06 PM']
[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=61947"]The opening post from this thread[/url] makes the statement that chastity is easier for married people.

Now, I can definitely see that some aspects of dealing with chastity would be simpler, because you would have a legitimate forum for expression of sexual desire. And, in the ideal situation you have two people supporting one another in the struggle.

But it seems to me that marriage would bring its own set of struggles in the area of chastity ... not being married, I can't really speak directly to this, only speculate. But if you have a problem with chastity as a single person, getting married is not going to cure that problem, and it seems to me it might even exacerbate it.
[/quote]
I think the entire post puts this statement in perspective.

While I can't personally know a woman's perspective, I think for a man, at least, marriage would definitely make chastity easier (though it would not in itself remove all temptation, of course).
Outside of marriage, there is no morally legitimate release for sexual desire. This desire could be fulfilled in marriage. Otherwise it has to be either suppressed or subliminated into something higher (which can be done, but requires special grace and much discipline - as in the priesthood). This is not possible for everyone, as St. Paul notes, but is a higher calling.

Of course, if a man (or woman, for that matter) has problems regarding chastity prior to marriage, such as an addiction to porn or promiscuous habits, this can have disasterous effects on a marriage.

Chastity must be practiced by all, but I think virtually every male would agree that chastity within marriage is far easier than complete celibacy.
The statement was about which is [i]easier[/i]; it was not saying chastity outside of marriage is impossible or that marriage would automatically solve all problems with chastity.

[Sojourner]

Am I dreaming? or was there a post by Era Might on here earlier today?

which, btw, happy birthday, Era Might.

[homeschoolmom]

Yes, there was. I saw it.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1147572' date='Dec 22 2006, 06:54 PM']
Yes, there was. I saw it.
[/quote]
good. I am glad I am not crazy.