Unworthy To Particpate In The Holy Mass?

[DeoOptimoMaximo]

A question for my dear Brothers and Sisters pursuing or discerning vocations,

Have u ever felt (due to sin and inability to confess) that u are too unworthy to even enter the church on sunday, so u abstain from attending the Holy Mass?


On a completely different note, has anyone ever experienced ever experienced an amazing consolation prior to and after receiving the Eucharist?

For the first time ever, last Thursday after communion in the seminary, I experienced this amazing feeling of love and gratitude to God, so much so that I was almost moved to tears. (Tears aren't common in us men, u know ) Then it was like my eyes, mind, and whole body were pulled by an immense magnet and riveted on the tabernacle... God is so good! I felt like I could stay there in Presence of the Beloved forever, and yet after a while after Mass I felt that I must leave, for this feeling was almost too much to bear!

Was I wrong to expect the same feelings the next day at Mass, cause once again, it was a return to spiritual dryness...?

Forgive my ramblings,
~Shawn

[philosophette]

Regarding both points... yes and yes.

About the Mass - I regret each time I have skipped Mass out of fear. I realized that I needed to stop taking myself so seriously! If I felt unworthy (like I had commited a serious sin) I could always make a spiritual communion. I think it is an act of humility to appear before God with trust even though one feels so utterly unworthy.
About Communion - I think that St Therese referred to such consolations as candy! I laughed when I read that. God's special little treat to remind us that He is still there and that he has not forgotten us and that we should not be discouraged by our dryness.

It is probably not best to expect or hope for such things, although it is very natural, for it is so lovely... someone once said that we must love not the consolations but the God of consolations.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='DeoOptimoMaximo' post='1134391' date='Dec 3 2006, 11:35 PM']
A question for my dear Brothers and Sisters pursuing or discerning vocations,

Have u ever felt (due to sin and inability to confess) that u are too unworthy to even enter the church on sunday, so u abstain from attending the Holy Mass?
[/quote]

Hmm. Not exactly. Have I felt so unworthy that I refrain from communion -- yep. But I make it a point to go to mass period (and the times where I haven't gone is either because it was impossible to, or less than a handful of times due to sheer laziness/rebellion/etc.). Regardless of whether or not I can partake in communion. He wants us there ... and the act of humbly entering the church and attending mass does a whole lot of good for the soul.

I make the decision whether to refrain with a good dose of prayer and discernment ... there are times that we can be a bit over scrupulous, and feel so unworthy of communion that we think we should refrain when in fact we shouldn't. Yet there can be times where we're so numbed in sin that maybe we do go to communion unworthily.

Quite recently, about a day after having been to confession and having come to full knowledge of the depth/seriousness of a sin that really affected my vocation and my relationship to the Lord -- when I went to mass I felt completely unworthy of Him, and even more unworthy of His calling me to be a sister. Pretty much my heart was in mourning over what I had done ... although I knew I was forgiven. I though of it like when Peter denied Christ ... his heart was torn with grief over his sin, but I'm convinced that when Christ looked at him it was with eyes of compassion and mercy. In John 21, during his questioning and confirmation of his calling by Jesus he felt that grief again. That's where I was at (and in a way I'm still there).

I guess in a way its a wonderful gift to be able to see our misery -- but knowing that He does forgive us regardless of the depth of the sin.

[quote name='DeoOptimoMaximo' post='1134391' date='Dec 3 2006, 11:35 PM']
On a completely different note, has anyone ever experienced ever experienced an amazing consolation prior to and after receiving the Eucharist?
[/quote]

Yep. This is awesome when it happens. Doesn't happen all the time (and no we shouldn't expect it ... although that's a very human reaction after all!) My gratitude tends to increase greatly after I'm reconciled, especially after realizing my sinfulness.

-- Carmen

[Chiquitunga]

Well, I wouldn't abstain from Sunday Mass since that'd be grounds for a mortal sin (grave matter). If you believe you could possibly be in mortal sin and weren't able to go to confession before Sunday Mass, abstain then from receiving Holy Communion, but not from fulfilling your Sunday obligation as a Catholic. But if you're not in mortal sin, I wouldn't abstain from going to Mass because you feel unworthy. But talk with a good spiritual director about this.

I bet Our Blessed Lord has great plans for you as one of his beloved priests. As for experiencing Our Blessed Lord in Holy Communion, that is wonderful what you experienced. Stay close to the Lord always and trust in His Merciful Love!

Can I recommend an awesome book for you that I love to read both for spiritual reading and for meditation? - [i]Holy Communion[/i], by [url="http://www.sacramentals.com/stpeterjulian.htm"]St. Peter Julian Eymard[/url]. It is book #2 in a series of books by him. I read a shorter version of this in a more popular shortened version, [i]How to Get More Out of Holy Communion[/i]. But I wanted to read the whole thing, so I bought only this book from the series. I haven't read any of the others, but this one book has been sufficient for several years.

But regarding the special graces which God gives to each soul, I believe it is best to keep these things between the soul and God, as it is something incredibly personal (except for a spiritual director of course, or Mother Superior, Novice Mistress, etc). Generally I know in cloistered communities, each sister's personal spiritual life is not shared with the others. They all love each other very much in the love of Christ. But each is their own person and has their own unique journey into the Heart of God, that is between the soul and God. I am very much of the opinion that this unique spiritual life of each soul must be greatly respected and not compared with others, even the saints.

Your experience of Our Blessed Lord is inspiring, so thank you for sharing. I pray you will become a zealous holy priest and a saint! God bless you Shawn!

Edited December 4, 2006 by Margaret Clare

[alicemary]

One must never feel that unworthy that one must not enter a church, that is frankly bordering on unhealthy thinking. If one has sinned, then confess the sin and start anew. We are all striving to be more Christ like, but no one is perfect. God is all loving, and forgiving. More importantly He does not make junk. What good does it do your soul to stay outside a church? Much less to miss the Mass which is the focal point of anyone's week. Be gentle with yourself, we are the worst judges of ourself.

[Gemma]

These experiences happen to souls whom He is moulding to His will. He knows what's going on in the deepest recesses of the soul, and gave you that experience for a reason. Put it in Our Lady's Sorrowful Heart for safe keeping.

Everything happens for a reason, but don't get hung up on the experience. Love the God who gave it to you--He's giving you a foretaste of Paradise--if you follow His Will. You can always ask why you were given such an experience. If possible, journal everything--what happened, when it happened (esp. the date on the Church calendar), how you felt--before, during, and after, and any other pertinent information.

The feeling of unworthiness is natural. We are being faced with our "nothingness." Yes, He made us, loves us, and doesn't make junk, but as God told St. Catharine of Siena, "I am He Who is; you are she who is not." The more we empty ourselves from our souls, the more we can be the hands and feet of Christ.

One thing I really loved about being single (so many years ago) was having the freedom to be open to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. "Go here," he would inspire. I would go to that spot, and there would be someone in need, or someone I had been needing to meet up with.

The only time you should refrain from communion is if you deliberately and conscientiously committed mortal sin, and hadn't gotten to confession yet. Jesus is actually hurt if you don't receive communion without good reason for abstaining. (Says something to the effect in the Divine Mercy revelations). He has love and graces He wants to give you, and the love burns His heart if He can't give it away. Your feeling of unworthiness is admirable, but be humble before the Eucharistic King, and allow Him to come into the Throne Room of the Heart.

HTH.

Blessings,
Gemma

[iKonstantin]

Are feelings to be trusted? Some feel pious on lsd.








-bpat Konstantin

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='iKonstantin' post='1137062' date='Dec 6 2006, 10:15 PM']
Are feelings to be trusted? Some feel pious on lsd.
-bpat Konstantin
[/quote]

No, I wouldn't say feelings are to be trusted. What we trust in is our Faith.

But a lot times it becomes rather annoying when people talk way too much against feelings. Does anyone get what I mean?

I think people realize already that to love the Lord requires sacrifice and the cross, (it's clearly written in the Gospels) and that they will go through times and even very long times when their faith will be tested, as we see in the lives of the saints.

But I'm seriously starting to get sick and tired of so many people talking about things like the dark night of the soul, when they really don't know what they're talking about. I don't mean at all anyone on phatmass, seriously. No, I mean like hearing this so often said on Catholic radio or just in places like that.

People should receive counsel concerning all of this, true, but in a private manner with a spiritual director.

So much talk against feelings can seriously hurt souls and cause confusion. What if a soul is in great pain over something that happened in their life and Our Lord is trying to heal that soul with His grace. But the soul does not accept this grace due hearing so much against feelings, and that feelings are not really love. The mind becomes confused and darkened and the soul is not receptive to grace. In this case, that would really be the work of the evil one.

Anyway, maybe you guys don't hear this so much on the radio or wherever. But just lately, in my experience, there seems to be so much talk on this everywhere, that it starts to get old.

Edited December 7, 2006 by Margaret Clare

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='Margaret Clare' post='1137109' date='Dec 6 2006, 11:00 PM']
... that it starts to get old.
[/quote] Of course not old as in that it's not relevent or out of fashion or something - not at all. But I mean that I've heard enough, again and again. You get what I mean. :j

Edited December 7, 2006 by Margaret Clare

[shortnun]

[quote name='Margaret Clare' post='1137109' date='Dec 6 2006, 11:00 PM']
So much talk against feelings can seriously hurt souls and cause confusion. What if a soul is in great pain over something that happened in their life and Our Lord is trying to heal that soul with His grace. But the soul does not accept this grace due hearing so much against feelings, and that feelings are not really love. The mind becomes confused and darkened and the soul is not receptive to grace. In this case, that would really be the work of the evil one.
[/quote]
Feelings are very important, and you give a great case in favor of them Margaret Clare. I think you balance b/w ignoring feelings entirely and letting them be the only factor in decision-making.

[brandelynmarie]

I am gonna tell you...it is hard to go to Mass & only receive a spiritual communion...When I came back to the Church (after 7 years), I sat through a Maronite Rite Mass & prepared myself for Confession. It was hard to do, but necessary. After Confession, I renewed my Baptismal Vows & received Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament. How good God is! We must not ever doubt His Mercy. & remember, even if we are in a serious state of sin, just being in the Prescence of the Divine Physician will help us to come to repentance & so accept His Grace. Peace!