HeavenlyCalling Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 Okay, before I start my post, I just want to say that I love my friends, they are really great and listen to me no matter what I have to say. They are the best. That said though, I have a bit of a problem. My two friends are some of the very few people who know about my vocation, but they really dont understand it. This is one of the reasons I spend so much time here, because you guys understand what a vocation really is ( ). Do any of you ever feel that you cant really talk to your friends about your vocation? I guess there is nothing I can really DO about it, I was just wondering if anyone else is going through this same thing. I hope this post makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlterDominicus Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 Yuppers. Actually pretty much my whole entire High School (Public) knows I am going to become a religious sister, my friends ask Q's after Q's after Q's, sometimes it gets frustrating, and I have made enemies fast, and some people just like to really, really tick me off. And it is offensive, but my thoughts are always, "O Lord, please forgive them...have mercy on them. Help them." As in general when they are just curious, you really have to patient and help them to understand no matter how many times or how hard you try. You have to do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again! Thats what I have to do with my family, we are all different religions. But above all PRAY - the only way we are going to get through this crazy world is if we PRAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 Why do their questions get frustrating? (Are they questions along the lines of "Why in the world would you do that?" or more so "Why do you wear veils? How long does it take? Why do you have a superior?") I'm just curious. I have to re-explain things to my parents about things too. They have bad memories sometimes and it's all new to them. It's hard to be frustrated with them when they honestly don't know. It's like anything else, it takes time to remember and understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onlygrace08 Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 I haven't yet discerned my vocation yet so, I haven't said anything to my friends about it yet. But, some of them know that I am discerning and some just assume it. I know that they aren't all that comfortable talking about it and since I don't yet know where I am called, I don't bring up the topic. But, if they have questions, we can answer them. And, I too come to Phatmass to hang out with other discerners. After all, we're phamily!! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenlyCalling Posted November 28, 2006 Author Share Posted November 28, 2006 It's not that they ask a lot of questions, it is just that they avoid the topic as much as possible. I mean, they listen and seem happy for me, but they dont really know what to say. It makes me feel frustrated, because I want them to understand why I am doing what I am doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 [quote]Do any of you ever feel that you cant really talk to your friends about your vocation?[/quote] Yes. My friends look at vocation as if it is a career choice, and a bad one at that. One girl with whom I'm very close (an atheist) keeps repeating, "But it's such a waste of your education," and, "You're not going to do anything with your life." Even believing friends (non-Catholics, but still Christians) think I'm making a terrible mistake and that religious life is only something you enter if a.) you have no career prospects, and b.) you've no chance of getting married. It frustrates me, as I'd love to be able to share my joy with the people I care about the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 There are also different challenges based on which type of religious community you feel you are called to enter. I think on some level it is easier for people to understand an active/contemplative community more than a contemplative one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onlygrace08 Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1130180' date='Nov 28 2006, 06:25 PM'] There are also different challenges based on which type of religious community you feel you are called to enter. I think on some level it is easier for people to understand an active/contemplative community more than a contemplative one. [/quote] very true! I think that sometimes we just have to accept that they don't feel comfortable talking about it and leave it at that. And, of course, we can always pray for them!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThyHolyLove Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 [quote]Do any of you ever feel that you cant really talk to your friends about your vocation? [/quote] Totally! None of my friends know about my vocation. I didn't tell anyone in college because I didn't want to be known as the "nun" girl. Simply, I wasn't ready to deal with people's questions. I'm getting more comfortable with the idea, but I don't think I'll say anything until I'm set on a community. My friends not knowing is a big part of why I love PM as well : I feel like I have a community here, I don't have to explain myself and people get excited about profession pictures and the like! Another big help to me is finding fellowship in the "outside" world. If you bond with some girls at a vocation retreat, keep in touch! I've done that, and it helps me to not feel so alone in the vocation world. keep fighting the good fight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 It's very difficult to talk to friends and even family about my desire for religious life, especially when I was discerning more actively than I am now. I had friends who brought up the money, lack of freedom, lack of married life, lack of sex, lack of fashion sense, etc. I've also talked with those who, while well meaninged simply hadn't a clue what it means to give your life over to Christ, One that you cannot (usually) see, One that isn't as tangible as, say, a human spouse. It's. . .well, it's God, but religion, prayer, etc, is more for others. . .not me, their friend! In the end, it feels more. . .lonely, simply because. . .well, when you speak to someone, especially about a heart's desire, you speak to them to get some affirmation, or some feeling of support, don't you? It's not like you need their approval, per se, but just that feeling of. . .respectful support. And yet, how can someone support or respect that which they haven't a clue? They don't, and cannot, 'get it'. Which, I think, why PM is so important to so many discerners, because of that like mindedness. Pray and pray. Adopt a saint or three for your 'buddy'. Go to them, speak to them during those times you feel most alone. Or of course, go to our Lord. He was often alone and knows most of all, what it's like. It's what I do. It's the only thing that keeps me sane, when I feel so societally different from the rest of my peers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veroni213 Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 [quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1130156' date='Nov 28 2006, 05:59 PM'] It frustrates me, as I'd love to be able to share my joy with the people I care about the most. [/quote] Ditto. Though I try to keep in mind that when the thought of having a religious vocation first surfaced, I was not very happy about it; so why should my friends be excited about it either without first growing closer to the Lord? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piamaria Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 I have some wonderful friends and a good family and I don't dare talk about a vocation. This Thanksgiving I felt so strange, knowing I'm spending the New Years holiday at the convent and unable to share with those I want to understand. I'll have to tell people after the holidays and ask your prayers that it goes ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Oh ya I know my non decerning friends don't understand But i am ok with that now "sorta" because I know I won't be "alone" forever. God bless you you are not the only one out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckinamo Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 hey Rose of Sharon, is your name from [u]The Grapes of Wrath[/u] !? Such a great book! anywho, yes! it is soo difficult!! that's where prayer comes in! i remember a year or so ago in an interview with my guidance counselor, she was asking me what my plans for my future were... and i was like "well, college, and possibly the religious life some day if it's really where the Lord is calling me." she just looked at me like and said "i don't hear that much." school-wise, my friends don't understand. neither do teachers, really. at my (rockin'!) youth ministry, they understand!!! i have one friend in particular in whom i can confide very much. we're both discerning. prayer is the best answer to this!! bonne chance!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenlyCalling Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 Thank you again all who responded. Like I said, that's why I love you all so much, your rock! : My youth group is non-denominational, so it is a bit odd talking about it there. Even people in my confirmation class think I am a little You are all right, prayer is the key! Thanks again God Bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now