I Could Really Use Some Prayers

[philosophette]

My mom and I are not getting along. She told me that I am not allowed to speak to her now, if I do not speak to her with respect. My disrespect was telling her that I feel really pressured by her and like she disapproves of everything that I do. We do not see eye to eye about religion (we are both Catholic, but she is a Tridentine traditionalist and I am more of a moderate) and she is always putting down my views on things and making fun of them.

I should have never told her that I am planning on entering the convent in August, because every other day she breaks down and cries about it. I told her that I cannot bear it anymore because it is hard for me too, but she makes me feel really bad for even wanting it. She does not want me to leave her.

Every conversation that I have with her seems to end in a fight. I try to leave the room when I can to avoid the fights, but even that makes her mad.

I really do not know what to do. I hate drama and this is a lot of it!

She says that i do nothing to help around the house, but every time i try to she tell me not to do it. So I try to buy groceries for the family and things that we need. That seems to be meaningless to her.

I guess I cannot give her what she wants.

I have a special needs brother, too, and he is egged on by my mother to do the crying thing as well, and tells me that he will not be able to bear being the "only child". I feel very unsupported and disrespected. I asked her to stop crying in front of me about it because it hurts me. That made her mad, too.

I am not sure what to do anymore. I cannot make her happy; everything I do she disapproves of. I am not "catholic" enough for her to be a good nun.

It makes me angry and frustrated. I have told her that I do not want to discuss politics or religion with her anymore, and every day I get, "I cannot believe you want to be a nun, that that's your vocation! With your views!" (Meaning that I do not make fun of homosexuals, which is a major hangup of hers.)

She says she wants me to be her friend, but I want her to be my mother.

So the more frustrated I get the snipper I am getting with her. I wish it was August, not to escape, but so that I could move on with my life. The stress from school (college), the family, all of the financial problems at home, my unrelenting cold, and everything else is making me crazy.

So please pray for me!

[stlmom]

Certainly we will all be praying for you. I hope you can also share this situation with your VD (or SD, if you have one). They may help you to learn to manage your frustrations and keep the angry and hurt feelings to a minimum. Where do you plan to enter?

[philosophette]

I already emailed the VD. And I have been talking to my SD.

Usually I am pretty patient, but Mom knows how to hit the buttons!

I am going to NJ for the Salesians.

"This, too shall pass!"

[franciscanheart]

Parents know ALL the buttons.

[FaithfulRoseofMary]

Hello. You are in my prayers. I understand. Patience is a virtue... sometimes often found on extra rough roads.

The Salesians are a very down to earth, friendly order with (of course) deep roots in Salesian spirituality. Perhaps look to St. Francis de Sales for spiritual insights and perhaps share this most excellent saint's wisdom with your mom... St. Francis de Sales is a precious gift to our faith... perhaps his wisdom will be an inspiration and consolation.

The Salesians want your family to feel right at home too... I just know your family will be welcomed with joyous hospitality.

God bless you.
Extra prayers for you today... and in the days to come.

FaithfulRose

[Piamaria]

You and your mom are in my prayers. Remember, your vocation is a gift to your family too--even if they don't know it yet.

[Margaret]

My extended Family are Tridentine Traditionalist and I know how diffacult it can be, to be around them sometimes even though I love them is almost painfull because They are so judgmental of every little thing. They know about my descision but I don't tell them all becuase I know that the things that really lead me to my order would be the lings that might make them scorn it and laugh at it. I will be praying for you so take heart and hang in there.

God bless

Edited November 30, 2006 by Rose_of_Sharon

[stuckinamo]

it sounds as though satan is trying to get in there and trying to discourage you from your vocation!!
to quote JP2, "Do not be afraid!"
Offer it all up to our Lord. Unite it with Him at the foot of His most Holy, Prescious Cross. Pay particular attention to it. Maybe He is trying to teach you something! Have you prayed for patience or humility lately? Because, this could be a prayer answered.....
I always pray for humility and find myself in very awkward, humbling positions. At first I'm like "Are you KIDDING ME!?" then i'm like "oh wait! Thanks, God!!"

my prayers are with you! God's blessings!

[HeavenlyCalling]

I will be praying for you, parents are so close to us, it is their lack of support that hurts us the most. Everyone else you can forgett, but you cant forget your parents. I will be praing for you, God Bless

[philosophette]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and prayers... it really helps and means a lot to know there are people out there supporting me.

A friend of mine today called me up and said that if I entered the convent that our friendship was over...



But all in all, things are better with Mom... the prayers helped. My dad, surprisingly, is being very supportive.

Yes, I pray for patience and humility an usually blow all of the opportunities! :

Thank you all again!

[brendan1104]

So your mom's upset because it's not a traditional community?

Or because she's "losing a daughter"

or both?

Prayers.

[philosophette]

She is upset that she is "losing" me... that I am leaving her.

[Birgitta Noel]

Tell her she's not loosing you, she's gaining a whole gaggle of daughters in your sisters to be.

Ok, she may not go for that.

Perhaps try to gently remind her that you're not leaving her, you're flying to your beloved, Christ.

Prayers for you and for your Mom.

[brandelynmarie]

[quote name='philosobrat' post='1133268' date='Dec 1 2006, 07:36 PM']

A friend of mine today called me up and said that if I entered the convent that our friendship was over...

[/quote]

I know how that is...I am expereincing that, too...I am so sorry about the upheaval in your family...I hate conflict! Still continue to help out as much as possible around the house & try not to get into any theological "discussions" with her...Follow what your VD/SD is telling you & pray for peace within your family...We are praying for you too!

[Piamaria]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' post='1133745' date='Dec 2 2006, 12:58 PM']
I know how that is...I am expereincing that, too...I am so sorry about the upheaval in your family...I hate conflict! Still continue to help out as much as possible around the house & try not to get into any theological "discussions" with her...Follow what your VD/SD is telling you & pray for peace within your family...We are praying for you too!
[/quote]

Sometimes there is nothing we can do. I pray that my family and friends will be blessed by my vocation but it sure doesn't help with the hurt of being "dumped" by them because I'm not doing what they wanted. Well, we are ceratinly what God wants.