franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I apologize if there is a thread like this already in existence. (If you know of one and would like to link me, I can merge this with that thread. ) What do you do when your family is ANGRY about your vocation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birgitta Noel Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I think there is one like this somewhere, but I'm not sure where. Are you in this situation? It would seem IMHO that the best thing is just to respond in love, to share info about what you're experiencing and to try to keep them informed. Unsolicited advice, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I'm assuming you've sat down and talked to them about it already? Did they refuse to hear of it or what? I would say if they will sit with you and have a serious conversation about it, you should ask them to share their feelings and assure them that you're willing to listen to their opinions... if things get heated, tell them you'll continue talking to them about it when everyone can remain calm. If they're angry, they are probably acting out of fear. They may feel they are going to lose you to your vocation, and so be resentful of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Yes, I am in this situation. Though not with immediate family, I am close to some who are upset. It's sad. And no, I have not spoken to them about it yet. No one told me they were angry. Well... they did about two days ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 What part makes them mad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 It doesn't make sense to me. I thought they would be happy. Well, one I thought would be happy. The other I didn't expect to be exceedingly pleasant, but I didn't expect ANGER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty_boy Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 A friend told me today that his brother turned away from the priesthood because his father was very against him becoming a priest. Don't fear chica, answer God's call and your reward will be in Heaven! Pray for the conversion of your family (everyone needs conversion) and trust that God's will be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='Matty_boy' post='1118576' date='Nov 12 2006, 10:45 PM'] A friend told me today that his brother turned away from the priesthood because his father was very against him becoming a priest. Don't fear chica, answer God's call and your reward will be in Heaven! Pray for the conversion of your family [b](everyone needs conversion)[/b] and trust that God's will be done. [/quote] The community I am visiting recognizes the first step in changing the face of the earth as being our own deeper conversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 btw, it is my grandfather's disapproval that hurts me the most. we were really close while i was growing up and i don't want something so special to me to be so repulsive to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1118575' date='Nov 12 2006, 11:45 PM'] It doesn't make sense to me. I thought they would be happy. Well, one I thought would be happy. The other I didn't expect to be exceedingly pleasant, but I didn't expect ANGER! [/quote] Hughey: When I was first discerning (a number of years ago), I remember that my mom was supportive, and my dad wasn't. My mom told him (and then encouraged me to tell him). His response = "oh, no ... that wouldn't be good ... don't you know nuns can't dance" ? ? ? Well ... long story short he was just very worried about my well being and my being provided for. He was content with my discernment, at least for about two years before he passed away. (So now I know he'll be praying from heaven for my provision!) What I wanted to point out is that the anger could just be a misguided/misrepresented care and love for you (I'm tired so my words aren't exactly right). It can be a bit of ego/self centeredness (they're losing someone they love). Give it time ... they will come around. One of my closest friends (who is not a practicing catholic, or anything) is just supportive, even though she doesn't fully understand she's come to the conclusion that as long as I find my happiness then that's what counts. And I pray for her to find a wonderful, loving husband! But -- that took a few conversations. I bet you that those expressing anger towards you right now really love you a lot, and in a sense may be grieving a "loss"! You'll see too ... the relationships will grow stronger. -- Carmen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortnun Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Carmen has a great point... the conversation your grandpa (in particular) is having with you isn't about his deep lying beliefs that convents are prisons (though that's a possibility) but are probably about his being unsure of your future, your happiness, your education, etc. For example, my mom was really hurt when in high school I told her I wanted to join the convent instead of go to college. She (and my dad) flat out told me I had to go to college first. I was very hurt and angry from these conversations. But what I learned over the years was how much going to college meant to my mom (who never had the opportunity to go to college herself). She and my dad had saved for my education since before I was born. When I heard their "NO" I closed my ears. I put up a wall and wouldn't let them in to the rest of my life. Thankfully we've been able to heal our wounds and bridge the gaps and communicate freely once again. I pray for you and your family--that you might be able to listen to the emotions and beliefs that you hold close to your hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty_boy Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1118582' date='Nov 12 2006, 10:51 PM'] The community I am visiting recognizes the first step in changing the face of the earth as being our own deeper conversion. [/quote] I've been reading [i]Deep Conversion Deep Prayer[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1118575' date='Nov 12 2006, 11:45 PM'] It doesn't make sense to me. I thought they would be happy. Well, one I thought would be happy. The other I didn't expect to be exceedingly pleasant, but I didn't expect ANGER! [/quote] I don't understand those reactions either. When one of my closest friends told me she was entering a convent I was thrilled for her. I know some of our other friends were surprised, but no one was angry or upset over the decision. However, I can see my grandfather having a similar reaction to your grandfather... I don't know what yours is like, but mine was a banker, he sees value in *things* so sometimes it can be harder to connect with him... give him some time, and I will pray for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1118575' date='Nov 12 2006, 11:45 PM'] It doesn't make sense to me. I thought they would be happy. Well, one I thought would be happy. The other I didn't expect to be exceedingly pleasant, but I didn't expect ANGER! [/quote] I think you can expect a mixed reaction from many people, depending on their beliefs and relationship with the Church. All change produces anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 [quote name='shortnun' post='1118770' date='Nov 13 2006, 08:16 AM'] Carmen has a great point... the conversation your grandpa (in particular) is having with you isn't about his deep lying beliefs that convents are prisons (though that's a possibility) but are probably about his being unsure of your future, your happiness, your education, etc. I pray for you and your family--that you might be able to listen to the emotions and beliefs that you hold close to your hearts. [/quote] We haven't talked about it yet. I don't see him very often anymore and he's not one to call and talk on the phone. So.. Thanks for the prayers from everyone. I don't know how it'll turn out but his heart will forever be in my prayers. I will love him no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now