Kosh Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domine ut Videam Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 [quote] QUOTE(Cathoholic Anonymous However, it is important to consider that anorexia can't remain hidden for long. [/quote] You'd be surprised how much parents chose to ignore the fact that things are visibly wrong.........they choose not to see what is visibly in front of them, staring them in the face. They are blind to what they wish not to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 [quote]But I made the decision to do it.[/quote] No one chooses to become anorexic. This is one of the disorder's most dangerous lies - it gives you the feeling that you are in control, that you are the one calling the shots here. In reality it was not your choice to fall into this. Think about it. If it had been a free choice, it would be easy for you to contemplate the alternative - eating normally. Ordering a normal portion in a cafeteria wouldn't faze you in the slightest. But could you do that? Could you walk into a restaurant and eat a main course plus dessert without punishing yourself in some way afterwards? If the answer is 'no', you aren't in a position to make any rational choices about food. You can't sin. My friend's parents didn't notice her anorexia, either. Or rather, they did. They just wanted to pretend desperately that it wasn't there, that her allergies were responsible for everything. But outsiders are usually much more astute than family members. I'm praying for you. + Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 [quote]Okay so I've fallen back into anorexia again. But the only person I've told is my spiritual director and a friend who lives in Boston. I can't get myself to tell my counselor. Absolutely not my parents (all hell would break loose if I did...) [/quote] Does it help you at all if I can tell you that I understand a little... I am struggling bigtime with my alcoholism, and I hate being honest with my wife, I really do… but I must be honest with my family and friends... Tell me – do we have similar grounds? PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 btw - if you know you need help... get it! this is the basic step one for me and anyone who has a problem it's the basic Nike "just do it" logic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary'sChild Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Hi, I'm new to phatmass and new to posting on phorums. I've been reading everything you've been posting these past few days. And the question came to my mind... What is causing your anorexia? Are you involved in activities that require you to be thin? Or are you around people that think everyone should look like a super model? Do you know what the cause could be? You are in my prayers, Mary's Child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fearundercontrol Posted November 6, 2006 Author Share Posted November 6, 2006 [quote name='Mary'sChild' post='1112105' date='Nov 5 2006, 08:48 PM'] Hi, I'm new to phatmass and new to posting on phorums. I've been reading everything you've been posting these past few days. And the question came to my mind... What is causing your anorexia? Are you involved in activities that require you to be thin? Or are you around people that think everyone should look like a super model? Do you know what the cause could be? You are in my prayers, Mary's Child [/quote] Well I've always had bad self-image since I was very young as well as poor self-worth and all that, probably largely because of how I was treated by my peers all throughout elementary and middle school as well as some of high school. I've always envied others' looks and compared myself to others. And I guess after a point the lies just got to my head and my perfectionism got out of control and I needed a way to find some stability or control amongst the stress of life. And in 11th grade for the first time I started restricting what I ate and watching the scale. And it's been an on again, off again battle ever since. I want this all to be over, but I just can't help it. I want to be thin, I want to lose weight, I want to be in control, I need to fulfill what seems to be a necessity and almost a desire of self-destruction. And it has become almost automatic; I can't be without it. I really hope this is the last time I go through this--but to be honest, I can't ever see myself being free of it. So um yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 The ONLY person who can help you - is you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary'sChild Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 [color="#009900"] Remember do not despair![/color] That’s the one thing God especially does not want us to do. There is always hope and if you tell yourself your going to pull through this then you will pull through this. Don’t ever be negative! Its not easy. I know it’s not. Prayer is the most important thing for you right now. I know you’ve heard this before, but you also need to talk this out with someone. Don’t hold it in. Go to Confession talk it out with a Priest. A month is a long time to go without talking to someone about something so serious. [color="#3333FF"]Also remember, its not the outside that counts, but the inside. God doesn’t look at the body. He looks at the soul. He looks at the heart. He made you the way you are for a reason. We can’t all be the same size. We’re different that’s what makes us so wonderful. Forget about your weight. Forget about being thin.[/color] Its not all people crack it up to be. Here in America everybody thinks that being thin is so wonderful. Guess what? You go to a foreign country like Nigeria and the more attractive women are the ones we would consider overweight. Its all mental. Maybe you’ve already told yourself this. But one thing that you should do is this. All day long… Jesus I love you… repeat it as much you can. Let it keep you away from the thoughts of your weight… Jesus I love you… [color="#FF0000"]You want to be thin, most people in America do, but make the sacrifice for Christ not to worry about it anymore. Offer it up for a stronger relationship between you and your parents. Offer it up for the souls in Purgatory. Offer it up for whatever you want. Not only will you be helping yourself, you will be helping others as well. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 I think anorexia nervosa is about a lot more than a simple desire to be thin. A lot of people in America may want thinness, but most stop short of trying to starve themselves to death in order to achieve it. 10% of anorectics die. They know what they're doing to themselves but by the end they can't stop it. This disorder is not about a cookie. It is not about ten cookies. It is about what happens to your exterior (your body) when your interior has become too dark to live with comfortably. This is why sufferers really need professional support of many kinds. There are no simple solutions. But trust is an excellent beginning, and fearundercontrol, I pray that you may find it - or, more to the point, realise that trust has found you in the person of Christ Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1112336' date='Nov 6 2006, 12:14 AM'] The ONLY person who can help you - is you. [/quote] Cmom wise as always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fearundercontrol Posted November 6, 2006 Author Share Posted November 6, 2006 I know. And it frustrates me to no end. To the point where frequently I just hate myself. I want to stop doing this. I WANT TO EAT! But I won't let myself. It's day seven of only one meal a day. And I started exercising (something I haven't done in FOREVER)--50 crunches and 25 sit-ups. I want to cut myself SO BAD, primarily for punishment. I wish I would let myself talk to people about this. But I've decided to even stop talking about it with the very few people (meaning 3) that do know. I don't want to suffer in silence, all by myself. I really have been wanting to talk to someone almost all day today. But I've decided I won't let myself talk about it with [i]anyone[/i] anymore. (I wasn't even going to read or post in this thread anymore; I don't know what made me do it.) Except I did make a deal with a girl on Phatmass who's also struggling with this that if she tells her therapist by the end of the month, I won't chicken out on telling Sherie (my NP) when I see her on the 29th. So, providing she lives up to her side of the deal, I [i]have[/i] to tell Sherie. Be it outright if she doesn't notice, although I'm sure she will (I'm sure I'll have lost weight by then) or answering honestly if she asks me. But part of me is just DYING for that appointment and to tell her. Yet there's still that part of me that says I'm not supposed to tell anyone. I really do hate this. I want it to stop. I want to get better. But t he part of me that won't allow me to eat or talk to anyone about this--that is forcing me to suffer in silence--is too strong. That is the part of me that takes control, and it refuses to let go. It feeds me the lies and forces me to believe them, and seizes every opportunity to do so. It has locked me up in chains and although I know where the key is, I can't get at it. I am tempted to call to see if I can move my appointment with Sherie to an earlier date and to have her call me if I can't. But that part of me that has got me locked up in those chains won't let me--I need to suffer more, I need to starve more, I need to lose more weight first....I wish this would stop. I want help, I really do. I just can't do it. -Allison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosh Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 That sounds horrible. I'll keep praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary's servant Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 AMDG+JMJ An idea that might be able to help you (probably more in the future, when you aren't struggling quite so much, but if you can do it now, it should help all the more.) Go on an "anorexic fast" If normally you would skip a meal in order to advance yourself spiritually, eat one extra meal. If you would be willing to skip 2 meals, eat two extra ones. For you, it is probably even harder to eat more than it would be for someone else to eat less. I'll be praying for you. God Bless "I know. And it frustrates me to no end. To the point where frequently I just hate myself." Just remember when you get like this that Jesus is your dear friend who loves you with all the divine madness of His heart. God Bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domine ut Videam Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 [quote name='Mary'sChild' post='1112411' date='Nov 5 2006, 11:14 PM'] [color="#009900"] Remember do not despair![/color] That’s the one thing God especially does not want us to do. There is always hope and if you tell yourself your going to pull through this then you will pull through this. Don’t ever be negative! Its not easy. I know it’s not. Prayer is the most important thing for you right now. I know you’ve heard this before, but you also need to talk this out with someone. Don’t hold it in. Go to Confession talk it out with a Priest. A month is a long time to go without talking to someone about something so serious. [color="#3333FF"]Also remember, its not the outside that counts, but the inside. God doesn’t look at the body. He looks at the soul. He looks at the heart. He made you the way you are for a reason. We can’t all be the same size. We’re different that’s what makes us so wonderful. Forget about your weight. Forget about being thin.[/color] Its not all people crack it up to be. Here in America everybody thinks that being thin is so wonderful. Guess what? You go to a foreign country like Nigeria and the more attractive women are the ones we would consider overweight. Its all mental. Maybe you’ve already told yourself this. But one thing that you should do is this. All day long… Jesus I love you… repeat it as much you can. Let it keep you away from the thoughts of your weight… Jesus I love you… [color="#FF0000"]You want to be thin, most people in America do, but make the sacrifice for Christ not to worry about it anymore. Offer it up for a stronger relationship between you and your parents. Offer it up for the souls in Purgatory. Offer it up for whatever you want. Not only will you be helping yourself, you will be helping others as well. [/color] [/quote] umm...........I am sorry but unless you have dealt with anorexia or an eating disorder you know that it is not that easy. One with an eating disorder does not "forget about being thin" or simply "make the sacrifice to Christ to not worry about it anymore." I am sorry but i try to follow Christ i truly do.......but when a person has an eating disorder it is not simply all mental. It is not about the food or the hunger. It is not about the binging or the purging. It is not about the body image or the weight loss. It's about a sense of control. It's about coping with disaster. It's about superiority and power. It's about the will to achieve and greatness. You can't "just eat" and "make everything better" It's not that easy. It is not as though the ones who suffer from anorexia and eating disorders are those who do not know that they should be eating, or that they are farther away from Christ. It is not about being attractive. It is not about being thing, it is about being the one thing that they can control in their lives. You cannot tell an anorexic to simply offer it up and then think that they will start eating again...... it doesn't work like that. The anorexia is a part of their minds....a part of their being. And until you have suffered from it, or seen someone you love suffer from it most people never realize this. The anorexia captures people and tricks their minds. Under the guise of food and thinness, anorexia leads girls down a dark path that leads to death, but what most people don't know is that it is never even really about the food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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