How Do You Discern?

[EcceNovaFacioOmni]

How do you do it? I feel utterly clueless. Do I pray, think? How do you know what God wants you to do?

[VeniteAdoremus]

You pray. (I think the rosary is especially great, but others have other favourite prayers).
You think, too. Make space for God in your life. Try to listen to Him, try to see how He's already working in you.

Find a spiritual director to help you (look who's talking, I'm still searching ). Try to attend the Eucharist and Adoration as much as possible.

Browse around on the web a little and see if there's a place that gives you a tingle, maybe.

Read books by priests, religious, or married people and try to feel whether you're pulled to follow in their footsteps.

And especially, post like mad at Vocation Station :

[HisChild]

I would say, that the above post it a step in the right direction! Pray and think, pray and think! I'm actually listening to a set of CDs right now called The Art of Discernment by Fr John P Grigus, who is a conventual Franciscan, in Marytown, IL. He's a great speaker and was a friend's spiritual director. I've listened to the tapes before. It's just good to listen again. One of the things he says is that while listening to your heart is important, decisions have to be made with the head.

Finding a good spiritual director is incredibly difficult. There are those directors out there that will attempt to lead you down the path that THEY feel is the right one. . .instead of YOUR right vocation.

In the absence of a good spiritual director, or rather, until you find one, there are many good books out there that can assist with discernment. Christian Totality: Theology of the Consecrated Life by Basil Cole, OP and Paul Conner, OP is a great book, recommended to me by both PCPA communities in OH and AZ. It's good not only for those who are interested in religious life, but also the priesthood.

When God Asks for an Undivided Heart by Father Andrew Apostoli CFR is a good book for discerning any sort of religious life (meaning also the priesthood, which I'll just group together for this post).

Religious Vocation: An Unnecessary Mystery by Richard Butler, OP can also assist you in your discernment. His writing can sometimes be. . .abrupt. He doesn't have flowery words, he just straightshoots. And if I were to sum up what he's written, I'd have to say, he's trying to tell you not to make your discernment some search for a mystical experience, like hearing voices from the sky, etc. If you wait for some ecstatic encounter to fully KNOW vs. knowing as much as you can know, what your vocation is. . .you'll become a perpetual discerner, and you'll still be here years from know, intead of making a decision.

Oh yes! and another resource is a tape called Myth and Misconceptions Concerning Vocations by Fr Thomas Nelson O Praem. which is a great tape saying again, that about 1 in 3 are called, but so few actually answer the call to religious life. You can find many books at [url="http://religiouslife.com"]IRL[/url] in their catalog section, under discernment. And they're all really reasonable.

Also on that site, you can find groups of communities of male and female religious. I'd suggest browsing through some of the communities. You'll see they are people, just like you, who accepted the challenge to live in community, offering all to our Lord, such a wonderful witness in today's secular, selfish society. See if, while browsing, any pique your curiosity.

In the end, ask yourself how much you're willing to give to our Lord. And when you offer this gift to our Lord, He'll bless you with guidance down the right path for you. . little nudges, if you will.

Oh and hey, if you DO wind up visiting communities, even doing an aspirancy (sort of a lengthy 'come and see') or even enter. . .and then leave, deciding it's not for you? There's no shame in that. And there's no obligation to stay during any of those steps. . .you would have such a long time before you had to make vows, to be obligated. Woohoo! With married life, you don't have the luxury of trying it out before commitment.

But if you visit and/or enter, but then leave. . .God works in all situations, and you never know why He's called you to that life, even if for a moment. . .it even could be that He wants to give you an appreciation of religious life, so that you can understand the decision of a future child.

And if you do discern that your vocation is to married life, recognize that it IS a vocation, so be sure to make it one! Meaning continue to place God at the center of your life. . .for no matter your state in life, your primary vocation is to holiness.

God bless you on your search!

Edited October 25, 2006 by HisChild

[awyers]

[quote name='HisChild' post='1100709' date='Oct 25 2006, 08:14 AM']
And if I were to sum up what he's written, I'd have to say, he's trying to tell you not to make your discernment some search for a mystical experience, like hearing voices from the sky, etc. If you wait for some ecstatic encounter to fully KNOW vs. knowing as much as you can know, what your vocation is. . .you'll become a perpetual discerner, and you'll still be here years from know, intead of making a decision.
[/quote]

lol...that section must have my name beside it. I really thought I was going to get something short of a lightning bolt telling me where to enter but Sr. Joseph Andrew really helped me with that one :

That was wonderfully put His Child. I dont think I can add much to that except to tell you that in my experience Sacred Scripture was my #1 aid. Any time I had a question or a doubt or a stumbling block I would open the Bible and BAM! There was the answer..I just love Lectio Divina if you get a chance try it out.

Also, God spoke through the people around me and really opened some doors and closed others and I just kept on following the open doors so to speak

And since the whole spiritual director thing hasnt worked for me (I am meeting with a priest next week *fingers crossed*) I had to rely on books, books, and more books. I am starting to build a library to rival the Vatican..just joking...but they have really helped me along the way.

Something I had to remember was everything in God's time. He may work slowly, reveal things to you slowly, but His timing is perfect and all we can do is work on our own personal holiness while enjoying the journey!

Prayers for you in your Discernment. As my local Bishop emailed me the other day...there are only five letters when it comes to discernment... T R U S T

[be_thou_my_vision]

Get to know yourself COMPLETELY!!! He will guide your inmost desires!

[frjeff]

-prayer and humility are two components that you can contribute.
-Grace is one of the components that God provides. the time spent in prayer is to help to attune yourself to God's grace. getting yourself attuned to God's grace is key because it is grace that will embrace your heart and mind and assist you in the answer!
-remember that God does not expect you to answer His call by your own strength of will; He expects you to cooperate with Him and His divine assistance.

[EcceNovaFacioOmni]

Thank you all for the responses. They are a lot of help. Hopefully I will be talking to a priest very soon about this.

[Starets]

One thing that was helpful to me in my own discernment was a couple directed silent retreats

[Romans1513]

The problem for me is, school. I want to spend all my time actively discerning, because for one thing I could end up not even needing all these classes and such, and instead I spend my time writing essays and reading and studying. I am also finally going to speak with a priest this week, though. Maybe I'll start to get more focused? I don't know, maybe I'll just end up with more on my mind and never get any homework done.

I should have started talking to a spiritual director a year ago. Unfortunately I'm reluctant to admit I may not end up getting married and having a family like I've always wanted to.

I wish it [i]would[/i] just come as a "lightning bolt" moment. lol.

Maybe I should go try to work on that homework now... since I've read about 15 pages in the last few hours... so much other stuff to think about!!

~Katie

p.s. My 50th post! I'm not lurking anymore!!

[EcceNovaFacioOmni]

[quote name='Romans1513' post='1103755' date='Oct 29 2006, 12:42 AM']
The problem for me is, school. I want to spend all my time actively discerning, because for one thing I could end up not even needing all these classes and such, and instead I spend my time writing essays and reading and studying.
[/quote]
I feel exactly the same way. It is hard to get motivated to perform in classes but at the same time you do not have time and do not know where you will end up.

[msahara]

Because you're a student, you know that right now your vocation is to study and to do your best work to the glory of God. I used to have this same problem- who wants to study when you can spend all your time on phatmass and browsing religious community sites???! haha, but really, you're not a religious (yet) but a student so you should study.

As for discernment, pray often (daily visits to a Bl. Sacrament chapel is good) and read a lot about the communities that interest you. The internet has SO much info on communities that it won't be hard to find the info that you're looking for. You'll be in my prayers!

[VeniteAdoremus]

Studying will shape not only your knowledge but also your mind, and through that your person. As a future member of a community it's your duty to become as good a person as you can be, so that you can give as much as possible to your community!