Vocations

[BLAZEr]

Ah, but by what you are attracted to, he calls you also . . . to a life of celibate love . . .

[Laudate_Dominum]

WOW, I never realized you had to take a phycological and behavioral assessment before entering the seminary! Good thing I know that even before I'm out of high school!

I know of some religious orders that don't do psych tests and all that (lucky for me). I resent modern psychology so they're more up my alley anyway.

I'd rather not know what's up with me, ignorance is bliss. :rolling:

[Guest lundercovera]

is there a way to be in a religious vocation but not live with other men? like, not even during preparation.. no seminary no rectory no monastary living with other men in close cooriders? like, can't i just go be a hermit somewhere without any seminary or anything? is that a licit vocation?

[BLAZEr]

You would not be a good hermit if you could not live in community . . .

In fact, the Benedictines strongly discourage those who foolishly pursue the hermitage without being formed in the monastery first.

Undercover, you have to ask yourself something. Why do you think God is calling you to a religious vocation? Because if you are thinking of a vocation so as to run from your temptations, then you are going for reasons that aren't the most noble. You really need a spiritual director, a priest who can counsel you. Whatever level of identification you have with your Same Sex attractions, you can learn to deal with them in a way that is healthy.

From the way you are describing it the last couple of weeks, its bordering on obsession. You really need to be as open as you can be tomorrow in confession. I'll pray for you.

[Guest lundercovera]

i sincerely want a religious vocation.

i sincerely believe that monastic life would not be good for me, not that i'd act on anything (unless it was a very liberal place which i would avoid at all costs) but i would still have such thoughts every day.

and i fear it may be too much of an obsession. but it's not like i'm always talkin bout it and stuff, that's just the whole purpose of me having this sn. however, my thoughts can hardly find freedom from it.. it too much affects how i interpret everything anyone says or does around me. i have so many images in my mind burnt in there from past internet sins... and though dreams can't be sinful they can be a source of temptation when i wake up. plus, it's impossible to go to school one day without hearing the word 'gay' like fifty million times. everyone's immature.

anyway, like a said, i'm just caught up in sinfully selfish self-pity. i can't bring myself to desire girls unless i really try hard and then it's just lustful and pornographic thoughts. and i sincerely wish i could have a family, or at least someone to be with my whole life. my guardian angel will have to do.

i donno, just like, it's hard for it not to color my every thought. imagine if you were in the body of a hot woman... wouldn't it kinda mess you up?

anyway, i think the best thing for me to do to get over this fear of a lonely single vocation is to strenthen my relationship with my angel.

[Guest lundercovera]

you know what, i'm being selfish... willguy had a question.

Okay, I'm in a situation.  For a while, I've felt called to the priesthood (as I've described before).  I've come to grips with that reality, and have reached a point of liking and favoring the idea.  My parents have also grown to accept the idea.  I figured, "OK God, you've called, and I've answered."

But recently, I find myself attracted towards the religious life.  I'm very confused.  See, I'm a bit of an idealist and a romanticist.  So, the idea of a religious life appeals simply because of its simple beauty, devotion, and communality.  But I'm not sure if that's all that attracts me, or if God is truely drawing me to this life.  Part of me thinks its right, part of me wants to consider it, and part of me thinks its wrong.  I can't tell which part is God.  I tell myself "The Church needs priests more than it needs brothers," but is that really the case?  No.  Otherwise, God wouldn't call brothers.  I don't know.  There are definitly selfish reasons for wanting to be a priest, but ther are also Godly reasons, or at least ones that seem Godly.  I'm so confused.  I'm scared because this seems similar to the way I faught the priesthood, at least on the surface of it.  I'm so confused (I know I just said that, but its the jist of how I feel right now).

When I was discerning the priesthood, I told God that I wanted to do His will, whatever that may be.  I didn't think that it might be this.  Now I'm afraid.  I wish I could know, 100%, what He wanted.  I wish I could be the apostles or Paul and have Christ just walk up and say "Do this." 

Well, I'm done ranting now.  I think I need to pray.  Where are my rosary beads...

Blazer's Advice:

God calls by what you are attracted too . . . just like women . . . if you think one type of life is beautiful, you should check it out . . .

continue discussion

Edited January 24, 2004 by lundercovera

[willguy]

under,

Don't think of yourself as being selfish. You are a guy with a question about vocations, that means that this thread is for you. I would respond to your post right now, but I have to go take care of the laundry.

[PedroX]

The vocations director just agreed to send me an application! Please pray.

peace...

[willguy]

where for Pedro?

[PedroX]

Indianapolis

peace...

[Theologian in Training]

You do realize that eventually you have to stop trying to figure out what God wants with you, and let God guide your decision. When I was entirely confused, despondent, and lost, I said simpy, "God, I have no idea what you want and I don't know what to do, take everything, it is all yours, I don't want it anymore. I am tired of this, what do you want of me?"

The vocation director called me the next day, and told me I was accepted.

Sometimes we have to stop telling God what we want and listen and follow what He wants. Takes time, but it also takes humility.

God Bless

[BLAZEr]

I like that theo. I also do a lot of "Lord this is what I want." Because really, God begins with our desire. He begins with what will make us happy. Not necessarily what we think will make us happy, but I am not afraid to tell God what I want. He answers my prayers. It's amesome.

[Tom]

I'm also often tempted to say "How lovely is my dwelling place, O Lord". I've always dreamed of becoming a Priest from the age of about 10. There are times when I've pushed it away, but it has still always been there. I think one of the hardest things for me to do has been to accept that I have not chosen Him, but He has chosen me. Part of that for me has been coming to trust myself entirely to God's will, and accepting that even if he dosen't want me to be a Priest. This meant lettiing go of my precious dream that I would be a Priest, but absolutely essential to my continuing on this path. If I am ordained, it must be through God's choice that I assent to and not the other way around!

Willguy - I can empathise with your difficulty in discerning whether you are called to Priesthood or Religious Life. It's one I struggled with before entering the Seminary. I was lucky in having an excellent Spiritual Director. I think there are some excellent Religious Orders that are partly Apostolic, exercising your Priesthood in the world, but also partly contemplative, with a root in Contemplative prayer in the community, but this may not be what you;re looking for. I'll keep you in my prayers as you discern.

[willguy]

I think my problem is that I have trouble shutting up. I pray, but I have trouble listening. I don't have a problem with abandonment, with "Your will be done." I have trouble listening for God's will and discerning what is His voice and what is mine.

Blazer, I'm not sure I totally agree with your advice. There was a time when I would have said that I was not entirley attracted to the priesthood (part of me was, but part of me definitly wasn't). Yet here i am, waiting for them to get back to me on whether I've been accepted to the seminary.

under -

Your desires are things that you will have to deal with. As was stated, though there are a handful of modern hermitages, they are not entirely cut off, and you will have to deal with being around others. Lust and sexual desires are tough no matter what sexuality you are. Remember, when you are weak He is strong.

[BLAZEr]

If you are going to enter the seminary it would help if you were doing it because you thought it would make you happy. If you don't think it will make you happy, why bother? I don't think its wise to pursue what you think will make you unhappy, even for the most noble reasons.

Something about the vocation has to be attractive to you. I'm not saying you have to feel all gung ho about the whole thing . . .felings are so susceptible to outside influence . . . but just like in a relationship, something about the other person has to be attractive to you .. . maybe there are parts that aren't attractive and you will come to love or accept them, but something has to attract you . . . otherwise, why bother?