A two faced monster

[DiscerningSoul]

Sometimes I feel like a two faced monster, one head being the good side of me always looking for the good in the world, keeping the faith and all.
then there is the "other" side of me who falls back on 'things' and what 'feels good'.

I just don't feel whole sometimes, a divided heart and outlook.

I want to do good and be good, yet sometimes I just don't feel 'good' enough or just don't care in that moment.

I feel weak in my faith right now, yet I do know I must trust in God and keep looking towards and for him, hanging on tight to his love and support.

Do any of you feel like this?

[HeavenlyCalling]

I feel like that all the time. Just pray to Our Lady, that always helps me. And surround yourself with good catholics.

[awyers]

Oh do I ever! I just came back from a whirlwind vacation and try as I might I was unable to get any alone time for quiet prayer. The lack of prayer this week has really highlighted my tendency to teeter back and forth on a fence, one foot in the not so good and one foot in the striving for sainthood! I am reading St Theresa of Avila's autobiography right now and it is so comforting to read about the struggles of such a great saint. I love how in the introduction she metions that she found no comfort in reading the lives of the saints as once they were called by God they didnt fall back into sin where as she not only fell back but became worse. I can completely relate! The road is bumpy but the journey sure is exciting!

[puellapaschalis]

Yes.

I don't know of anything I can say that might help. But I'll keep you in my prayers.

PP

[AlterDominicus]

[quote name='DiscerningSoul' post='1056557' date='Sep 4 2006, 01:45 PM']
Sometimes I feel like a two faced monster, one head being the good side of me always looking for the good in the world, keeping the faith and all.
then there is the "other" side of me who falls back on 'things' and what 'feels good'.

I just don't feel whole sometimes, a divided heart and outlook.

I want to do good and be good, yet sometimes I just don't feel 'good' enough or just don't care in that moment.

I feel weak in my faith right now, yet I do know I must trust in God and keep looking towards and for him, hanging on tight to his love and support.

Do any of you feel like this?
[/quote]


You know....the Lord uses the weak to lead the strong, and thats exactly what happens in a lot of cases. I mean I just got baptized and confirmed this year, but its happen for the past two years.

You just need to pray alot, plead, be angry, - it helps to relate ane emotion to the saints or Our Lady, so I'd pray to Our Lady of Sorrows.

[Mercy me]

I know exactly how you feel. I remember saying almost your exact word to my spiritual director and you know what he did? He pointed me to St. Paul. He writes about this in Romans 7. St. Paul had the same struggle! You are not alone in this. Check out the last section of Romans 7. In the meantime you might keep in mind the words of Thomas Merton


[center]My Lord, God, I have no idea
where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of
me. I cannot know for certain
where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think
that I am following your will
does not mean that I am
actually doing so.
But, I believe that the desire to
please you does in fact
please you.
And I hope that I have that
desire in all that I am doing.
And I know that if I do this
you will lead me by the right
road though I may know
nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for you are ever with me,
and will never leave me to face
my perils alone.[/center]

[DiscerningSoul]

I feel better that I am not alone in this feeling.
I try so hard to keep a positive outlook on things, just some days are harder then others.
Yesterday I had a really good riding lesson, but the whole time I was riding, I wasn't happy, nor was I enjoying the time riding or just being with my horse. Sometimes I wonder why God let's me go astray, getting depressed and losing my way?

I don't know.

I do try.
I will keep tring.
I must keep tring.
I do want to keep tring.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='DiscerningSoul' post='1056557' date='Sep 4 2006, 01:45 PM']
Sometimes I feel like a two faced monster, one head being the good side of me always looking for the good in the world, keeping the faith and all.
then there is the "other" side of me who falls back on 'things' and what 'feels good'.

I just don't feel whole sometimes, a divided heart and outlook.

I want to do good and be good, yet sometimes I just don't feel 'good' enough or just don't care in that moment.

I feel weak in my faith right now, yet I do know I must trust in God and keep looking towards and for him, hanging on tight to his love and support.

Do any of you feel like this?
[/quote]
check my signature - i feel like this a lot

[brandelynmarie]

You beat me to the punch...Lil Red...I was just thinking of that Bible Verse! We are human, kiddo....A saint is a sinner who gets up one time more than she falls...Use your sorrows & anger & offer them to God to use for His greater glory...Ask Him to bring a greater good out of your suffering...Pax, Brandelyn

[Akalyte]

im a twofaced monster. I think many phatmassers have witnessed that. We all fall short.

[Margaret]

Oh yeah I do right now I feel like I am in the "dark night of my soul"

I would love it if you all prayed for me.

God bless