franciscanheart Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I would like to say I would. I cannot say for sure though as I have not been asked to do so. None of us have experienced this so it is a tricky question. My only response is to pray, be practical, and rejoice in the love of God. Do not pray with your mind, but with your heart. Be practical, but do not be depressed. Rejoice in the love of God... to the fullest extent possible! I will be praying for you in your discernment of this matter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Shernel, Although it has only been 9 months since Sr. Lauren entered I can definitely say that we are closer as a family then we ever were before she entered. It seems odd, but it's true. Perhaps when you're together whenever you want to be you take things for granted and then when there is this 'forced' separation, you no longer do that. I don't know for certain why but we are definitely closer now. Perhaps it's just a special grace from God. We receive a letter from Sr. Lauren every month. Her letter is sort of a journal of her experiences at OLAM. She has some amazing experiences and she is growing so much in holiness even though she is still just a postulant and hasn't started her formal instruction. I suppose that the best way to get to know someone is to spend a lot of time with them. At OLAM Sr. Lauren spends 5+ hours with Jesus every day and she seems to be getting to know Him very well. The time she spends with Him is certainly much more fulfilling than any amount of time she could spend with her family or friends. She can write anybody she wants to only during the Christmas season (without permission). I'm pretty sure that there is not a written rule as to how many letters she can receive from others. I suppose if they got in the way of their formation and/or charism then something would be done about it but as far as I know they allow the sisters, externs and cloistered, to receive unlimited mail. I have started writing her every week during my holy hour and if I'm breaking the rules she hasn't said anything to me. Sr. Lauren has given up coffee. Can you believe it?!? She drinks a cup of tea in the morning now. Oh well, Sr. Anastasia loves the coffee we send so we still send it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I think the way I'd think of relationships is whether there is a disordered attachment ... that is, is there something in the relationship where you cling to the person to the point where it gets in the way of your relationship with the Lord. When I was an Aspirant/Postulant, what I found was my relationship with my family was growing -- even though we were limited in 1 phone call a month for 15 minutes (I think), and calls on certain special days. My family is and never has been a letter-writing one, so I got very few from the family. My friends and I are more of a phone/email friendship ... and as an aspirant/postulant I had no access to the internet. Its a struggle not to "cling" to friendships -- I still find myself clinging every so often, but I am learning that the One who I need to cling to the most is Jesus. Finally -- true friends stick around for sure. My "adoptive" parents were there when I left; and my love for them and a certain group of friends has definitely grown and matured. -- Carmen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeekingHisPlan Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 [quote name='Marieteresa' post='1056028' date='Sep 3 2006, 01:29 PM'] For all your discerners and those entering out there I just wanted to know was it difficult for you guys to let go of your worldly relationships? Also if you couldn't handle that would you just cut your losses and look at another monastery? [/quote] I am going to come back to this when I have more time. I need to get off the internet in about three minutes, but I will definitely reply to this next time I am on. I am nowhere close to even making an aspirancy, but I had a terrible time a few months back when the realities of what religious life may mean for family relationships began to hit me. Things have changed and improved since then, though they are still difficult sometimes. I'll talk more about it when I can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karin Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I am not judging anyone else in this reply these are just my thought on my personal life. To me it seems that giving up relationships with friends and family if it had to be done or even lessening the contact with them is just giving more of myself to God. If i couldn't do that then that means I am holding back on him. Saying something is mine that He cant have. Jesus said to the rich man to sell all he had and follow him. Now I know this is different but in a sense it is the same. you must give Jesus everything. It would be wrong of me to say here I will give you everything except for my relationship with my very best friend because I cant bear to give her up. But even as I say that, I believe that it is not an issue I face. Contact will not be cut off for me. I will still be allowed to recieve letters and write them. The contact will be less than it is in the world but that is part of the point of being in the monastery in the first place. Well I have to go te bed now God Bless and Mary keep. I would not consider a different monastery based on letter writing regulations. Karin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marieteresa Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I know everyone is saying this religious life has sacrfices and what not. Its not only about the letter writing...its also about visiting regulations. Just the fact that its reserved for family only....if your estranged then no one is going to be able to visit. I guess its what one can handle...God didn't give us more than we can handle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 God also gave us a plethora of options when it comes to religious communities. If you think that it will be impossible to live under a certain set of rules then you should look at other communities. Or maybe you definitely feel called to this community but can't reconcile that with the rules that seem impossible to you? Either way, you're in my prayers, Shernel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I'm not really sure what to say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaMF Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 The biggest sign for me that I had found the right place to enter was that I accepted everything. It was all about Jesus; and everything I saw (the chant, the habit, the loving spirit) seemed perfect, but there was sooo much I didn't know about the sisters' life and everything, but I just thought: THIS IS WHAT I WANT. Sister would ask me if I had any questions, and I would be puzzled. "Uh, no! It doesn't matter." Not that I don't care what they do, but everything is included in wanting to give myself all to Jesus HERE, and to be like these beautiful, loving brides of Christ. Everywhere I had looked into before, I had been nitpicky about "oh I like this, but not that" etc. So this "whatever" experience was very different. Prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaMF Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (edited) [deleting double post] Edited September 5, 2006 by TheresaMF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 We would do our family & friends a great disservice if we did not miss them & want to maintain strong ties to them & communicate with them on a regular basis...I believe this is where the ties of the heart & the intimacy of prayer comes in...it is a penance to not be able to call loved ones on the phone or write letters when we want to! My father has already told me that if I enter the monastery he would never see me again on this earth...His health is not good enough to travel very far & sometimes I doubt that my step-mom would be able to visit often either....I agree with what TheresaMF said...peace will show you where you belong...& OLAM Dad gave sound advice as well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stlmom Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I'm with Olam Dad on his last post (#22). If you really feel called to religious life and you have friendships that fill the void that family cannot, I'm sure there is a community out there with allowances for such circumstances. I'll bet there are more discerners than you know with similar stories. God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zunshynn Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 MarieTeresa, have you spoken to Reverend Mother about this, about your close friends being more like your family than your actual family? It might make a difference. Perhaps they would be willing to consider them your family as far as visiting and writing goes. Sometimes our impulse might be to hear about how something is and think ok, that's it, but really, often things like that have to be decided on an individual basis. And really if this is bothering you, I'm sure she'd want to know. Perhaps things will stay the same. But talking to her about it might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Yes, definitely. Reverend Mother needs to know and perhaps this knowledge will help you. If not, at least everyone is on the same page and you all can work together to either overcome this issue or decide to move on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marieteresa Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 (edited) I am not assuming anything, I have spoken to Mother Mistress and she has spoken to Rev. Mother about this. She knows the situation and how I regard this person as my family. The only thing that they are willing to allow is for me to write at Easter and at Christmas a Christmas card. No visits from any friends, no writing to my monk friend who is in seminary until after ordination. She said that the community pretty much becomes your family. (If you do have blood relatives that you are close to you can write once a month and they may visit, not during certain seasons) On a lighter note a friend of mine made a interesting suggestion.....He said prision sounds better....at least you can write to people and you can have visitors ( He doesn't believe in God) I am really wrestling with this because I liked it very much there if I didn't like it so much I would have written them off. I mean seriously could any of you guys imagine not having visitors for YEARS or maybe never because you were estranged from family and if they could visit them being so far away that a yearly visit might be out of the question. (I am saying if you were in a particular situation) No phone calls either.....Seriously I wonder how many of you guys would be willing to detach yourself completely from everybody. Just my thoughts Edited September 6, 2006 by Marieteresa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now