Questions

[HeavenlyCalling]

Love the comment about giving up everything and people saying "what should I get her?" One person I talked to ( not pham) had a family party and everyone drew out of a box one thing from the 'list'. she was in a teaching order and need supplies, so people could contribute what things are really needed. The prayer plant reminded me of fruit flowers some one once gave us ( with prayers attached) Well pray for you, and please pray for us too!!

[brendan1104]

When I was about to leave, my extended family kept on giving me unneeded (but welcome) cash. I only asked for black socks...

[sadora]

[quote name='brendan1104' post='1054894' date='Aug 31 2006, 10:46 PM']
I only asked for black socks...
[/quote]




That is too wonderfully funny!

[cmaD2006]

What a question :-) boy does this bring back memories (I entered aspirancy and postulancy with a community, and ended up deciding to leave).

[b]When does all of this feel real[/b] I'm not sure ... I think it took at least a month after I arrived at the convent for things to start feeling real/normal.

[b]How do(have) you prepare(d) yourself?[/b] Prayer and the sacraments were key. It may be a bit late but I sent out a computer card to all of the people that I knew with the news and where I was entering ... and a heart felt thank you for the support that they had given me. Note that I was still sending cards out in the convent ... and there's a group that never got sent (I'll rewrite the card and send them the 2nd time around : ) As far as the list stuff ... you'd be surprized to find out how some people will want to help you buy some of what is on the list! What to take -- if I were you once they send you the list stick to the letter of the list ... I definitely took too much and in hindsight I can see my disobedience in it. I didn't do it intentionally ... but this second time around (when it happens) I think I'll probably have a single large suitcase.

[b]How do others (family, friends, etc.) prepare for and cope with your departure?[/b] The goodbye from family and friends was hard -- I made sure to see as many people as I could (including my confessor at the time, and my spiritual director) before leaving. I had one friend who still has a hard time grasping what I was doing (she's not religious). The most interesting piece was work -- I'm an engineer and I was pretty open about what I was doing with my bosses. It turned out one boss had been in a protestant seminary, and another boss was a deacon at his church -- so they were very supportive (one boss rehired me on the spot when I returned).

The hardest part is maintaining friendships once you enter ... I'm not a letter writer, and the community I was with had a policy of not allowing internet access before 1st vows. Phone calls from friends were limited to once a year -- so you're forced into using snailmail. The nature of the friendships changed ... those that are my friends today are the true friends that walk through things with you through thick and thin. The family ties definitely were strengthened.

Not sure if this helps any -- if you have any questions go ahead and ask away.

-- Carmen

[cmaD2006]

[removed double post ... oops]

Edited September 1, 2006 by cmariadiaz

[sadora]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' post='1055071' date='Sep 1 2006, 02:54 AM']
...As far as the list stuff ... you'd be surprized to find out how some people will want to help you buy some of what is on the list!...
[/quote]

Your perspective is definitely a blessing to me!! I mean, you can really say, "been there, done that", and for that, I thank you for sharing your answers!

In regards to the list comment -- you're totally right about how much people want to help out!! Already, many people have kept asking "So, have you gotten your list yet??" I've found this to be immensely humbling, especially for the most part, I have a difficult time receiving gifts from people. (I'm definitely better at giving gifts than receiving.) To say the least, through the humility I just feel so loved.

I'm also hoping to pack as [i]least[/i] as possible. Perhaps this is a rather silly reason, but I hate baggage claim. Haha! (Maybe that means I'm a lazy bum.)

Your work situation -- with your bosses -- is really awesome!! It's wonderful that they were so understanding and supportive!!

I'm concerned about maintaining friendships via snail mail as you've said. I don't know how often I'll be able to write or even about visiting, but also like you've said, "the true friends that walk through things with you through thick and thin" I think will still be there even if we aren't in contact as often. It also gives me consolation in hearing that you're family ties were strengthened.

And any other questions.. hmmm.... ... so this time around, in discernment, is the process different for you? How has your perspective changed? (If you don't mind my asking.)