Questions

[sadora]

I literally have [b]ten[/b] days until I leave and enter the [url="http://www.ssvmusa.org/ssvmhome.htm"]Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara[/url].

This is still not [i]real[/i] to me.

I mean, I [i]know[/i] in ten days, I'm going to the airport, flying to Baltimore, and will be entering this beautiful, amazing, wonderful (okay, so maybe I'm a [i]little[/i] biased...) community. Before that (now), I'm still in the process of finding things to do with my "stuff" (all the junk accumulated through dorm/apartment life). And of course, saying "Goodbye" to many. Yadda, yadda, yadda.... This is all very practical.

So, I suppose my questions are:

- When does all of this feel real?

- How do(have) you prepare(d) yourself?

- How do others (family, friends, etc.) prepare for and cope with your departure?

It's as though this "dream" I've had for so many years is finally coming true, and it's so... "whoa... this can't be happening....and to [i]me[/i] of all people!" And then of course, there's still this remarkably overwhelming sense of peace and joy.

Hmmm... I guess I've never [i]really[/i] known anyone pre-religious life (besides one friend a few years ago that I wasn't very close to). I'd just like to know how others feel and think about this.

Grazie!!

[brendan1104]

- It feels real when you're on the plane/finally there.
- Prepare by prayer, acts of charity and virtue.
- Sometimes families have goodbye parties, etc. St. Therese's family went to Mass and received Holy Communion when she left. You must pay the most attention to them before you leave.

Hope this helps- I've been a (religious) seminarian.

[Sixtina87]

well, i was preparing for the convent for almost 3 months and then the Sisters asked me to go to school before i enter....heartbreaker!!!! however i am doing fine with the idea right now. i leave for school in a week!!!! yikes!!!

to answer you questions.............

- When does all of this feel real?
for me it felt real when i was purchasing my selected items on the clothing list, however, as time went on, and it came close to 27 days, i was like wow, its comming too fast. however it was exactly 27 days when i was given a new direction. however for my sisters, i know it was hitting them hard the week of enterence, i'm sure it will be harder than it seems but you can get through this, just trust in the lord!

- How do(have) you prepare(d) yourself? hours of prayer, adoration, daily mass, spiritual reading, house chores, etc

- How do others (family, friends, etc.) prepare for and cope with your departure?
well, i didn't get that far but my family was taking the idea okay, there isn't really any way they can prepare for something like this.....God takes care of that!!!

god bless you!!!

[zunshynn]

[quote]I mean, I know in ten days, I'm going to the airport, flying to Baltimore, and will be entering this beautiful, amazing, wonderful (okay, so maybe I'm a little biased...) community. Before that (now), I'm still in the process of finding things to do with my "stuff" (all the junk accumulated through dorm/apartment life). And of course, saying "Goodbye" to many. Yadda, yadda, yadda.... This is all very practical. [/quote]

I know how you feel! I'm not leaving in ten days of course... but the excitement/unreality of it is still there! I'm a little biased of my community too. Though I'm a huge fan of any orthodox community—especially the ones here! They're all so awesome!

I have been getting rid of some things... although my mom asked me to leave my room more or less in tact. So if that makes her feel better, I'm happy to do it. I am consolidating... putting things in boxes though. I still have to buy most of the clothing stuff on my list, and get some of the documents they asked for. But I've made a list of all of the things I plan to bring...

Anyway, as to your actual questions.

It's an off and on thing for me, it feeling real. Some days it feels real, some days it doesn't. Like people ask me what I'm doing and I tell them and answer their questions, but at the same time it's like wow. Especially because I'm an entering an order that was kind of always in my radar, but that I'd never, ever thought about joining myself until like... 6 months ago. I'm always kind of like, I can't believe this is happening to [i]me[/i] of all people! Like who am I to be given such an incredible calling? But even amidst doubts, there is such a god-given peace and joy.

As for how I've prepared myself: I've tried to get to Mass every day (It's so wonderful to be able to go to daily mass now that I'm out of school!) and adoration frequently. I was doing the Divine Office for awhile... I really ought to get back into that, it's so beautiful. And I've really been trying to exercise patience... helping out with out being asked, and without complaining, and being less irritable and more generous... hopefully that will help me adjust to the sacrifices of community life.

Leaving my mom worries me. I know this is so hard on her, even though she's been so supportive. And I worry that she doesn't have people to count on being there for her when it gets especially hard. I don't know what to say, if when I'm actually leaving, she starts to cry or something. And the rest of my family... alot of people don't really get it. They kind of give me the impression they're hoping I'll come back. I talk to my friends alot... and I know it'll be hard for them, but they're really, really happy for me. I just kind of answer their questions, and they tease me about it a little.

Other than phatmassers, I've never known anybody to enter religious life. It amazes me how much phatmass has been a part of my discernment. Like I was here before I was even thinking about religious life, when I was terrified of it, when I embraced it, when I wanted to be an active sister, when I embraced that God was calling me to contemplative life, when I was being drawn to the PCPA and now that I'm getting ready to enter! It's amazing really! Being a part of everyone else's journeys here has been such an honor, and such inspiration for my own life. I'm so indebted to all of you!

Edited August 30, 2006 by zunshynn

[TheresaMF]

[b]- When does all of this feel real?[/b]

I don't know--it doesn't feel real for me yet. I am entering the Dominican Monastery of St. Jude on September 29th. I have been saying goodbye to people and started going through my stuff, throwing it out or giving it to my Mom to sort through. Bought nightgowns, black shoes, etc. But I really don't have a sense of reality about it.

[b]- How do(have) you prepare(d) yourself?[/b]

Other than buying supplies and getting rid of possessions, I go to daily Mass, pray the rosary, and am trying to spend an hour with Our Lord every day, just talking to Him or doing lectio divina.

I need to spend way more time with my Lord than I do. Many of the difficulties I have would fall away in His presence.

One *AWESOME* thing is the Stations of the Cross. I had no idea how awesome that Stations were before making my Aspirancy. Of course St. Alphonsus' prayers are beautiful and inspiring, but even just talking to Our Lord and loving Him and praying before each Station, for yourself, for others it brings to mind, is awesome. Not worrying about saying Our Fathers and Hail Marys is great too, for me.

[b]- How do others (family, friends, etc.) prepare for and cope with your departure?[/b]

My family is overjoyed, very happy for me. Lots of people ask how they feel, but for us that is a weird question. All my homeschooling and Christendom friends are so happy for me, the homeschool moms promising to send lengthy prayer request lists, and some moved to tears by my "generosity in choosing a life of prayer for the world." (Of course, I don't feel particularly "generous"--this is just where Jesus led me and I love Him and want to love Him more and follow His Will.) It is almost more touching for me to see their reaction, that this decision in my life means so much to them--very humbling for me, making me want very badly to live up to what they expect and rejoice in and pray for, that I may never falter and if I do that I may get up again, and not drift into mediocrity but be always zealous for God!

Others, however, both some relatives and friends, have a really hard time with it because they don't believe in God. What I am doing is the most utterly useless thing anyone could ever do with their lives. My mind is closed--I'm a brainwashed Catholic--I will not be able to have an open mind and choose my own existence and destiny. Prayer doesn't help people. Couldn't you help people so much more by actually *helping* them? Teach! Serve the poor! Raise a family! So they tell me all this stuff, fuss at me, and it upsets me because I try to tell them about God, how wonderful He is, how awesome to be in His Presence in Adoration and to have His presence in your heart, and how even though I can't explain to you the intricate theology explaining why we have to pray even though God knows everything, I *KNOW* that this life is the best life, that the contemplatives are the prayer warriors, powerhouses, support of the Church. *sigh* They wouldn't listen anyway. I try to just love and pray.

I do have other relatives and friends who are Catholic, not even especially Christian, who understand that this life is putting first things first, and are happy for me.

Lots of people want to give me presents, which I find hilarious. "She's devoting herself to evangelical poverty! What can we get her?" The best thing I have gotten so far is a huge spiritual boquet card, where each member of the family made a big flower out of construction paper and wrote the prayers they said for me on it. Awesome.

I also gave out holy cards that I made up, with the address of the monastery on the back, and info about writing and visiting. Also I copied a leaflet with info on the Dominican monastic life so that they could learn more about what the vocation means. Of course my non-Catholic friends and relatives have little clue about what religious life actually means, while usually even the Catholic ones don't have a very good idea. Giving them info helps educate, perhaps evangelize, and gives them a tangible feeling of contact with me instead of feeling like I'm just disappearing off the face of the earth, so I think that is helpful.

[sadora]

God bless you all!!!

I've found all of your responses [i]very[/i] helpful! As cliche as it sounds, sometimes it really is nice to know that you're not all alone in the world.

I haven't received the official "List" of items to bring yet. (Hopefully I'll get this on September 1st.) Unofficially, I know to bring sacramental certification, copy of diplomas, any important health records... you know, basic "important paperwork" stuff. But as to "practical" things (clothes, toiletries, etc.)... I have NO idea. So... as a few of you all said, the "realness" came when actually purchasing List items. I think once I get the List.. wow.. it's going to be some crazy times.

TheresaMF -- I love your answer to how your family/friends, etc have dealt with this. It provided me with much compassion. My family isn't Catholic (or really practising Christians, though I do think they have belief on some level) and well, they don't quite "get it". I converted to Roman Catholicism (from Baptist) in college and since I've been here (college -- recently graduated) for the most part of the past five years, my family doesn't really know my life or my faith. They are somewhat supportive (which is a blessing), but I guess it's kind of like your non-believing-in-God friends/relatives.. they don't really understand why I'm "throwing my life away". Or very much as zunshynn said: [i]And the rest of my family... alot of people don't really get it. They kind of give me the impression they're hoping I'll come back...[/i]. Love the idea about printing out holy cards with the address of the monastery and info on it -- I may have to borrow that idea!!! -- it's brilliant!

Overall, I'm just so thankful for my parish and family that I've found there. Most of my friends are the ones I've met through this parish, and wow... everyone's just so supportive!!! And this site has been a blessing as well -- many thanks to everyone!!

P.S. -- I just think that the call to contemplative life is so profoundly beautiful. It's amazing to see the number of people from this site that have been called to this vocation. Without contemplatives, we'd be at such a loss.





[quote name='zunshynn' post='1053634' date='Aug 30 2006, 01:50 PM']
Leaving my mom worries me. I know this is so hard on her, even though she's been so supportive. And I worry that she doesn't have people to count on being there for her when it gets especially hard. I don't know what to say, if when I'm actually leaving, she starts to cry or something...
[/quote]

Leaving my mother worries me, too. I usually call her everyday just to check up on her She said she didn't want to go to the airport and see me off because she couldn't handle it, and I can understand that. I think this world is very foreign to her. Hopefully she'll be able to come and visit me... (same for your mother and yourself) and perhaps that will make things easier on her.

[sadora]

[quote name='TheresaMF' post='1053673' date='Aug 30 2006, 03:21 PM']
One *AWESOME* thing is the Stations of the Cross. I had no idea how awesome that Stations were before making my Aspirancy. Of course St. Alphonsus' prayers are beautiful and inspiring, but even just talking to Our Lord and loving Him and praying before each Station, for yourself, for others it brings to mind, is awesome. Not worrying about saying Our Fathers and Hail Marys is great too, for me.

....

Lots of people want to give me presents, which I find hilarious. "She's devoting herself to evangelical poverty! What can we get her?" The best thing I have gotten so far is a huge spiritual boquet card, where each member of the family made a big flower out of construction paper and wrote the prayers they said for me on it. Awesome.
[/quote]

The Stations of the Cross is always very difficult for me. I mean, not in a "this is boring; it takes so long; etc" type of way, but in that I honestly get emotionally hysterical. Our Mother of Sorrows has always been very close to me, and I've always been very drawn to the Passion, but man, it's probably near embarressing because I cry so much!! There's tears and snot everywhere. The sorrowful mysteries of the rosary affect me that way at times, too, especially when I first learned them.

I'm very weepy on Good Friday, though I know I should be celebrating His death instead of mourning/grieving it. And the Stabat Mater is impossible for me to sing through.

I don't really know what to say about that. I love it all even though it pains me... perhaps I am a spiritual masochist...

Anyhoo....

I find it hilarious that people wanted to give me gifts, too!! However, I think the spiritual boquet card was an awesome gift!!! Prayers always make the best gifts. :

[shortnun]

[quote name='TheresaMF' post='1053673' date='Aug 30 2006, 02:21 PM']
I also gave out holy cards that I made up, with the address of the monastery on the back, and info about writing and visiting. Also I copied a leaflet with info on the Dominican monastic life so that they could learn more about what the vocation means. Of course my non-Catholic friends and relatives have little clue about what religious life actually means, while usually even the Catholic ones don't have a very good idea. Giving them info helps educate, perhaps evangelize, and gives them a tangible feeling of contact with me instead of feeling like I'm just disappearing off the face of the earth, so I think that is helpful.
[/quote]
Theresa, this is a GREAT idea. I love it. Prayers for you (and for all) as you prepare to enter.

Sadora--

[franciscanheart]

I am so very new to discernment but I think it will be more 'real' for people with each day that passes. I know my parents were 'excited' at first but the feeling has since worn off. I think when I make the trek out there they will fell it again. We'll see..

Please keep us in your prayers! Especially all of us who are just beginning our discernment and still have no idea where we are headed!

You will definitely be in mine.

[DAF]

I'm sorry to interrupt but those priests are wearing CASSOCKS!!

[zunshynn]

[quote name='DAF' post='1053990' date='Aug 30 2006, 08:30 PM']
I'm sorry to interrupt but those priests are wearing CASSOCKS!!
[/quote]

Cassocks are good reason for interruption!

[sadora]

[quote name='DAF' post='1053990' date='Aug 30 2006, 11:30 PM']
I'm sorry to interrupt but those priests are wearing CASSOCKS!!
[/quote]





:taco:



That makes me VERY happy, too!!

P.S. -- I shall definitely be keeping you all in my prayers as well. I love vocations and if one day God decided to lead me to work in that direction, I would be THRILLED! So, no worries, all of your discernment journeys will remain in my prayers. More than a year ago I gave my vocation to Our Lady of Sorrows. I would highly recommend everyone and anyone to give their vocation to Our Blessed Mother. She is gentle and kind, always guilding us in the Father's will for us.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Sadora' post='1054178' date='Aug 31 2006, 12:49 AM']I shall definitely be keeping you all in my prayers as well. ... So, no worries, all of your discernment journeys will remain in my prayers.[/quote]
Thanks.

[DAF]

[sadora]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1054184' date='Aug 31 2006, 01:57 AM']
Thanks.
[/quote]

You're quite welcome!!



[quote name='DAF' post='1054187' date='Aug 31 2006, 02:04 AM']

[/quote]
Grazie!