Crossroads

[Ash Wednesday]

Please pray that God will answer my prayers. All I ask is that he lead me to wherever it is he wants me to be.

I am done with school, and without a job, and looking for one. I have a bulging disc in my back that is very painful to live with and makes working difficult, sometimes the pain is so bad I can't really function. I do not know when it will get better, and I fear if it does not get better I will have to get surgery. I am also fighting a bad case of dermatitis, possibly from stress. I am also not sure where I will be living after November, and I have the task of moving at least twice, possibly back overseas. I don't know where I will live if I have to come home, either. I will not have health coverage if I go back to the United States until I find a job, and my car is on her last leg and I don't know if I can afford to buy a new one. I don't know what will happen with my current relationship I am in. I will be 30 in a week, and I am not getting any younger. Sooner or later my life should be taking a concrete direction and I need God's guidance more than ever. I've been trying to do the right thing and following with his plan in my life, but now I feel so helpless and alone. I haven't felt this despairing since I lost my mom. Please pray that he will not leave me to make my upcoming decisions alone. I cannot do it without his help.