HeavenlyCalling Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I was wondering. I am considering religious life. I haven't really been in contact with any Motherhouses, nor am I 100% sure, but I would like to tell my parents. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I am the first of 6 kids ( someone said it was easier then if I was an only child, but couldn't elaborate) Thank you so much, you have no idea what your help means to me. If you have experiance, please say so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JeffCR07 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hi there, I think the best suggestion that anyone can give you is to pray - go to adoration and mass, I can't tell you how much it helps, even when it comes to something like telling your parents. I would suggest that you ask if there is a time that you can privately speak with them. Tell them that there is a serious matter that you are considering, and that you would like their support. Explain what you're feeling to them and try to get them to understand, but don't expect them to. Also, I would suggest that, in conjunction with telling your parents, you start looking into the different orders and start thinking about going to visit some motherhouses for a vocations retreat or vocations weekend. God Bless, and please know that I'll be praying for you! Your Brother In Christ, Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karin Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I just flat out told my parents. I was like mom I want to be a nun. I will be praying for you if this is going to be a difficult thing for you to do. God Bless and Mary keep Karin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memory-singer Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 [quote name='HeavenlyCalling' post='1032892' date='Jul 28 2006, 08:58 AM'] I was wondering. I am considering religious life. I haven't really been in contact with any Motherhouses, nor am I 100% sure, but I would like to tell my parents. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I am the first of 6 kids ( someone said it was easier then if I was an only child, but couldn't elaborate) Thank you so much, you have no idea what your help means to me. If you have experiance, please say so. [/quote] I was really afraid to say anything to my family (and I was 26 at the time) who are not Catholic. I spoke with a priest and he advised me to let them know I was considering religious life and doing some research into options. I remember he said" You've been thinking aout this for a while, so you don't understand what a shock it could be. It's only kindness to bring those who love you into the process. I know it seems easer to wait until you know for sure, but it's better to give them time to deal with it. A year and a half later in the discernment process I can only be grateful and repeat his wisdom. It has at times been very difficult. At this point only my Dad accepts that I have to try this. but my Mom and sister know that (with the grace of God, the help of my director and pastor as well as the wisdom of the sisters) I have tried to listen to them and respond to their issues and questions. I hope they know I love them. Best wishes, Dare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veroni213 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Well, I am probably the poster child for putting THE DISCUSSION off, as I managed to wait 6 years before telling my parents anything. My parents still know very little about my discernment... communication is not my family's strong suit and I decided I would only give them the information they asked for. I figure this way that if my understanding of God's plan changes, I won't have to explain it all to them again. I was worried they would react negatively, but since they thought I was going through some sort of phase they were neutral about it. (They had no idea that I was going to adoration or daily mass.) However, since I've been home again they've been able to see that I am serious about discerning the religious life and are ever so slowly starting to accept it. I would use discretion in telling your siblings though...they can have a tendency to blab and you probably don't want that if you are just starting your discernment. God bless you and keep you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenlyCalling Posted July 28, 2006 Author Share Posted July 28, 2006 I couldn't agree more^^ I am worried that my mom will blab to every one, then if I change my mind...ug! How did you hide the fact that you were going to daily mass? I cant even hide when I go to get a drink of water. Keep posting people!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_rev Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Say, "Mom, Dad; I think God might be calling to be a religious sister, I'm not for sure, but I just want you to know" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritas99 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Yeah it's kind of a hard discussion to have with your parents especially if they really aren't practicing Catholics like mine. I told them on Easter and it went okay but isn't all that great anymore. It's important to just trust this to Mary and Jesus.Pray and listen to the promptings of the holy Spirit as to when to tell your parents, timing is important. You don't want to wait forever to start the conversation but you want to be sensitive to where they are at and thdy may not be ready yet for the discussion. I know for me I had to tell them because I am l;ooking at entering next year or so, things have happened so fast. If it looks like it won't be for years then you might want to hold off until it gets a bit closer. I don't know, just some thoughts. Me tellingf my parents started my parents praying more, yeah they praying even harder that I will forget this idea and get married. Well hey, at least they are praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortnun Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 [quote name='the_rev' post='1032944' date='Jul 28 2006, 12:33 PM'] Say, "Mom, Dad; I think God might be calling to be a religious sister, I'm not for sure, but I just want you to know" [/quote] I agree with all the advice thus far. And to add on to what The Rev said, I would encourage them to be a part of your journey: ~ Show them the literature you've gathered. ~ Show them websites. ~ Encourage them to call/email communities you're seriously discerning. For so many parents, they react out of fear because the idea of a religious vocation is unknown and foreign to them. This is a great way for you to spread the fullness of the faith and help educate them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificat Posted July 29, 2006 Share Posted July 29, 2006 If you think your mom might start telling everyone, maybe you can make it clear that you're not comfortable with others knowing yet, esp. since you're not 100% sure...and if she does want to tell others, perhaps she can check with you first so that you still have some control over who knows. I'm relatively certain and there's still a lot of people in my life who still don't know! In terms of how/when to tell them, try to see if there's a time where you'll be alone with them and probably not somewhere public (like a restaurant or anything) just so whatever reaction they have won't be broadcast to the rest of the world. I can imagine that it'd be hard to find time alone w/6 siblings, but maybe you can tell one of them first and ask them not to tell the other one with the expectation that you'll tell the other as soon as you can. It might also help if you have an excuse to bring up the topic; I finally told my parents when they were asking me my plans for spring break...which was to go visit a community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenlyCalling Posted July 30, 2006 Author Share Posted July 30, 2006 Thank you all so much for your advise and prayers. I told my mother, and she seemed to take it very well, I had been dropping hints, though, and I did ask her not to tell anyone, and she said she wouldn't, now just pray she keepes her promise!!! And I wrote to Sr. Thomas Aquinas and she said she would send me some voaction information via snail-mail. YAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 HC, Congrats on your successful momfrontation. Please don't expect her to totally keep the cat in the bag. We parents are very proud of you little saintettes and if on occassion we embarass you by letting slip your potential vocation you've got to forgive us. Thanks be to God that your discussion was so successful! From here on out it's just between you and the Lord. Don't worry about your folks, God will take care of them. Keep your eyes on the Beloved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSoror Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 [quote name='OLAM Dad' post='1033860' date='Jul 29 2006, 08:34 PM'] Thanks be to God that your discussion was so successful! From here on out it's just between you and the Lord. Don't worry about your folks, God will take care of them. Keep your eyes on the Beloved! [/quote] Awwww..... what he said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memory-singer Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 [quote name='HeavenlyCalling' post='1033823' date='Jul 29 2006, 05:04 PM'] Thank you all so much for your advise and prayers. I told my mother, and she seemed to take it very well, I had been dropping hints, though, and I did ask her not to tell anyone, and she said she wouldn't, now just pray she keepes her promise!!! And I wrote to Sr. Thomas Aquinas and she said she would send me some voaction information via snail-mail. YAY. [/quote] This is very good news. ON you go. Dare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificat Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 [quote name='HeavenlyCalling' post='1033823' date='Jul 29 2006, 07:04 PM'] Thank you all so much for your advise and prayers. I told my mother, and she seemed to take it very well, I had been dropping hints, though, and I did ask her not to tell anyone, and she said she wouldn't, now just pray she keepes her promise!!! And I wrote to Sr. Thomas Aquinas and she said she would send me some voaction information via snail-mail. YAY. [/quote] Awesome! What order is Sr. Thomas Aquinas part of? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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