No Vocation?

[GodChild]

I am wondering if it's possible that some people simply do not have a vocation to anything. A vocation is a grace and a gift .... who says it *is* definately given to everyone. I mean, God alone chooses whom He calls. I realize that in a few days I may re-read this post and wish I hadn't written it but my morale is quiet low at the moment. I won't complain about my life because I am very very lucky in many ways ... but I have never been good for anything. When I was a child I was always alone as all through school until I left highschool I was bullied by other kids. After I left school and went onto university and work I find that things are much the same. I am always alone. I thought I may have a vocation to religious life at one stage but even that door was shut in my face. I now have the pleasure of knowing that I am unwell (I am sick) and what? ....
This is where my question ends ... what now? I truly feel rejected in the deepest way. I feel rejected by family and friends (who have left me since I found out I am sick), I feel rejected socially (I am disfigured - this being the reason why I was bullied, a social freak show and why no one will ever want to marry me) and I feel rejected spiritually ... even though I feel that Jesus has not rejectd me in the slightest. I don't know how to explain this feeling of being rejected spiritually but being with Jesus. Its like I feel rejected in heart and soul but feel Jesus feels this rejection also and suffers with me.
I know He is with me, but I guess I am very lonely and my morale is low as I am literally sick and emotionally very tired.
I don't feel like there is a vocation for me ... other than to stand outside and look in through a window at a world I was never a part of and never will be a part of. The religious life is closed to me as I am sick, marriage is closed to me as I am disfigured ... and the single life - I feel like it's killing me. I feel so alone, I feel like a leper, I feel like I was born into a prison and am eagerly waiting for death just to get out!

How should one understand this?

........ Would appreciate any advice. GodChild.

[heavenseeker]

everyone has a vocation, some are more serious than others. your vocation may just be going to school, or takeing care of a family member, or even being a good friend to somone. Not all vocations are huge. There is even the vocation of the single life. In this case though it seems like you are the one in need of someone to show two of those smaller vocations that i listed. Maybe your vacation is to help people see that they need to be open to others. Have you tried missionary work yet? That might be your calling.

[Excelsior1027]

Well, some advice I would give you is this: rejoice! Maybe you don't know what your specific vocation is yet (because believe me, you have a vocation, everyone has a vocation, God created you and me with a special plan for our lives in mind), but what you are going through now, this suffering, gives you power, because you're bearing your cross, and there is power in the cross, and there's freedom.

And please continue to pray, continue to grow in union with Jesus; though other people may reject you, He will never, NEVER, reject you. You mentioned how you felt like a leper; remember that Jesus healed a leper. When everyone else would run away when a leper came near, Jesus touched a leper. Remember that He is always close to you. I will pray that you find your vocation, God bless you!

[bmb144]

Firstly, from another Aussie!

I may echo some of the stuff already said and if I do I am sorry, but having read what you have said and having seen part of my story here some some is too important not to be repeated.

[quote]When I was a child I was always alone as all through school until I left highschool I was bullied by other kids. [/quote]

Yep been there, had to be pulled out of school before I got my head bashed in. Halfway through year 10. had to do the rest of my education by distance.

Sick, yep been there too, had CFS for almost ten years and some other stuff. I cannot have kids because of some the effects of the sickness I've had.

Disfigured, yep that as well, I have a skin problem that affects my scalp and have to wear a headscarf in public to cover it up. I've been abused, physically attacked, hit by car (a 4wd and I am 5'1), so been there big time.

But let me tell you something, it makes you strong. Each rejection, each hurt, each painful experience it makes you strong. You maybe thinking "is she kidding", NO I am not. And you are showing that strength- read what you have said

[quote][i]even though I feel that Jesus has not rejectd me in the slightest. I don't know how to explain this feeling of being rejected spiritually but being with Jesus. Its like I feel rejected in heart and soul but feel Jesus feels this rejection also and suffers with me. [/i][/quote]

That is the key, build yourself up in the knowledge of how Jesus sees you, not how others do.
Build your relationship with Christ first, don't worry about your vocation right now. Look at building you in Him first. Things will fall into place.

Also if you want to talk let me know, I am on two of the IM's (see my profile) and I would be really happy to be there for you if you would like. PM me.

I will add you to my prayers and hope to hear from you.

In His Light

[DAF]

The Church tells us that Christ loves and never ceases to call us closer to Himself, wherever we are in life (CCC 27). That applies to everybody. A vocation is just the way in which God calls us to be with Him. Therefore, we all have a vocation.

On a more personal note, I say in humility and love that it sounds to me like you may not feel like you have a vocation because you're shutting God out of everything. You're saying "there's no way I'll get married..." "there's no way this and that" My vocations director told me to trust God. And yes, on the surface it sounds cleche' and cheesy, but really think hard, are you letting God work in your life? Would you be happy to accept whatever vocation he offers you, not necessarily always with joy, but in humility, obedience and love of Christ? It's not just a decision, it's a radical sacrifice, and something that cannot be made on a whim.

in Christ

[Gemma]

The first thing I see needing to be done--and correct me if I'm wrong--is the acceptance of your physical infirmities. God knows what He's doing, and like St. Joan of Arc, you've got a special calling. Remember St. Germaine of Pribac.

We have an aspirant to one of our proposed orders who will eventually be completely dependent upon her sisters--and life support machines--and will still be totally aware of everything around her. She joins it to Christ Crucified. "Talking" to her on the 'net is a very edifying experience.

Consecrate yourself to the Holy Ghost, then you should be shown what path you should take.

St. Francis de Sales says that our job as Christians is to turn to God a hundred times a day.

Not a lot of help, but perhaps some.

Blessings,
Gemma

[GodChild]

Thankyou to all who took the time to respond. I appreciate your input and insight. Like I said earlier, I would probably regret putting up the post but I did so at a time when I was feeling very low. Looking back now I feel a little stupid .... but still grateful as some important things have been pointed out to me. I think acceptance is a big issue. I mean its easy to accept at times and most of the time I do accept ... but then something happens and your acceptance grows dim. When I wrote the post I had just returned from uni ... and going to uni can be a challenge at times. It sometimes just really hursts to see others my age and having to see in a real 'in your face ' kind of way, the things you a missing out on.

I am trying to open up to God - but the ironic thing is that since I opened up to God - thatis the time in which everything fell apart. My experience so far is that he is crushing me. Its a hard love that makes little sense.

Oh well, maybe I need to pray more amd let go more. Of course sometimes this is easier to do than others.

I'm feeling stronger now as I see I have new areas to improve on.

P.S = If this post came up funny or if I quoted your entire post Gemma - that was an error on my part as I pressed something wrong

Edited July 25, 2006 by GodChild

[Like a Child]

I must echo the above sentiments. . .

Indeed you do have a vocation, GodChild. Jesus called your name before you were born, and He is still calling you now. There IS some great purpose to your life, some incredible, beautiful reason why you were put on this Earth. And even if you never discover what that purpose is in this life, you will find out in the next. Then, when all is still and quiet, and there, in the very heart of love, you will understand what it was all about. Then you will smile : and shake your head in awe at our Lord's genius. For you see, He had it all worked out from the beginning.

Peace,
Like a Child

[HollyDolly]

Don't give up hope! God loves you more than you know.I am sorry you are ill,and people,especially family should not desert you regardless of your illness and how you got it.

As far as marriage is concerned,there is an old british song that goes,Everyone has sex appeal for someone or most of us wouldn't be here. Go on the internet or to the library and get a book about the famous circus and side show freaks of the past.Many of them were married and had children,by normal husbands and wives.These people had pysichal or disfiguring problems but they somehow trusted in Jesus Our Dear Lord to get them through life .

There must be things you like to do and enjoy.Do you like animals or cooking? Maybe you could
start a small business pet sitting or something. Can you draw and paint well? maybe you could offer to paint murals for a friend.Word would spread and maybe other people would pay you to do this.

Maybe you could write done somethings you enjoy,and that may help you see you have talents
that can become your vocation.

We are all praying for you.

[Excelsior1027]

[quote name='GodChild' post='1030607' date='Jul 25 2006, 05:36 PM']
I am trying to open up to God - but the ironic thing is that since I opened up to God - thatis the time in which everything fell apart. My experience so far is that he is crushing me. Its a hard love that makes little sense.
[/quote]

"Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor 12: 8-10

Hope this helps a little. God bless!!

Edited July 26, 2006 by Excelsior1027

[srmarymichael]

St. Therese said, "My Vocation is Love." She decided that she could not do much, so she would LOVE! Wow.

Secondly, have you ever heard of Matthew Billa? Here is an article about him:
[url="http://marian.org/bulletin/issues/spring2006.pdf"]Marian Helpers Magazine[/url]

This article was written by his mother. He was dropped on his head as a baby (by the doctors), and his mother was told to throw him away and start over. He has an amazing story.

This article (from our newsletter) was from his own point of view.
[url="http://www.panhandlefranciscans.org/June2006.pdf"]Matthew's Story in the Little Portion Newsletter[/url]

I was able to meet him. Yes, his face is disfigured. He was treated horribly by his peers and teachers (One teacher called him "Drool" because he drooled.) But I have rarely met a happier person or a person more at peace. He has finally realized that God allowed his suffering so that he can help other people in their sufferings. (if you want to write him, I can get his address for you)

Finally, you do not know how blessed you are! YOU are intimately sharing in the sufferings of Christ, who was rejected and alone on the Cross! To St. Faustina he said something like this, "Those who look like me in my suffering will be more like me in my Resurrection." (not a direct quote, I'm doing this from memory)

So, try to embrace the cross with joy, knowing that you are intimately united with Christ!

God bless you!

[HeavenlyCalling]

Well, I always thought that there were only three vocations: The Priesthood, the married life or the single life ( I was taught that nuns and brothers were in this group). So I dont think you can NOT have a vocation. You just might not have a vocation to the religious life.

[HollyDolly]

Sister Mary Michael thank you for the articles on this fine man.No matter how hard we think we have it,there is always someone who has it worse.
WE should offer up our sorrows and trials to Jesus and trust in Him completely more than we do.
By the way,aren't you also in the San Antonio Archdioce as well,your order I mean?
The photo from your newsletter with our Archbishop Gomez is why i asked.

[uruviel]

to have a vocation is like our destiny, God made us for us to fullfill our vocations. God made us so we could know, love, and serve Him, and be happy with Him in heaven, but for every soul, they have a purpose. Even if it's just making sacrifices and saving souls, it could be anything. God Bless.

[cmotherofpirl]

As your screen name implies you are a child of God and God doesn't make junk!

I am not always sure that we have just one vocation in life, sometimes we have multiple ones and sometimes serial ones. God can call us to multi-task. :