SeekingHisPlan Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Nicole, I am so sorry you are in such profound pain. Remember that our Lord knows every single one of your sorrows and He will help you if you but cry to Him. Psalm 56:8: You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your record? Prayers for you in this difficult time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixtina87 Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 thank you all for the comments. I was shocked to see that there were this many comments left during the day since I was up at 4am. I cried most of this morning and worked things out with the Sisters, to where I am going to spend the weekend there on a SILENT retreat. My grandfather paid for my last minute ticket, and I won't return until Monday. The Sisters and I are still going to keep intouch and hopfully one day I will come back home to HIM as a Sister Servant. So as of right now, my contacts are very cloudy, i can barely see through them. I have only gotten 8 hours of sleep the last to nights. I think it will be better for me to come down this weekend versus any other, this is where I turn to HIM and say, what now?? God Bless you all and have a wonderful weekend!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I am very glad to know that you are going on a silent retreat, I sincerely hope that God speaks to your heart and holds you close in His sacred Heart, I am praying that He grant you understanding, courage, patience, and trust Have a Blessed-filled and lovely weekend as well, we are praying for you and love you. God Bless and Mary keep, -uruviel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chatbox829 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 see that proves that God will hold you and help you i'm praying for you and a retreat should help Go with God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 (edited) Nicole, I just read your posts. I have been in 3 different communities and for various reasons, I am now in none of them. . .I left two due to illnesses. What is so 'funny' about it all is that in the world, I am hale and hearty. One lesson I learned is the biggest one you should as well: God was breaking me down to say 'not as YOU will, but my My will be done.' Will I ever be a nun? At this point I can only say 'no'. Never? I can't answer that. The only thing I CAN say is that His plans are obviously not my own. Crying can be cathartic. It really can. But if you stomp and cry and scream and say you want to wither away. .. you may be too noisy to hear what He wants of you next. You know? This is hard advice, and I can only give it because less than two months ago, I WAS there, trying to quiet my heart. And that is the best advice to give. Quiet your heart, and tell Him, 'Obviously Lord, this isn't where You want me. Where DO You want me?' Perhaps He is telling you to wait a little bit. After all, most, if not all the communities who said no to you said that you should wait a bit, mature a bit, live life a little bit, and then think about it in a year or two. Those communities may be wrong, and you just aren't meant for them. . .but they may be right and the best thing you could do is wait a little bit, allow your heart to soften, so that when HE is ready for you to enter, you will be more ready. After all, if it IS His will that you enter religious life, He will make it happen. Again, I can only say this because I've been in a somewhat similar situation of not knowing why He put the desire for religious life in my heart, only to take away the situation. You will be in my prayers. Edited July 21, 2006 by HisChild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douknostcecilia Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 earnestly praying 4 you. -In His love, Cece Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domine ut Videam Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 you are in my prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary-Kathryn Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 [quote name='Sixtina87' post='1027964' date='Jul 20 2006, 10:10 PM'] thank you all for the comments. I was shocked to see that there were this many comments left during the day since I was up at 4am. I cried most of this morning and worked things out with the Sisters, to where I am going to spend the weekend there on a SILENT retreat. My grandfather paid for my last minute ticket, and I won't return until Monday. The Sisters and I are still going to keep intouch and hopfully one day I will come back home to HIM as a Sister Servant. So as of right now, my contacts are very cloudy, i can barely see through them. I have only gotten 8 hours of sleep the last to nights. I think it will be better for me to come down this weekend versus any other, this is where I turn to HIM and say, what now?? God Bless you all and have a wonderful weekend!! [/quote] May God speak to your heart and pour out His Healing through those beautiful Sisters who are embracing you in your grief. There are many ways to become a saint, and not all of them has to do with wearing a veil or collar. Let God make you a saint no matter what He chooses for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixtina87 Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 well, everyone, I am leaving today to spend time on retreat and not so much with the Sisters, sadly!!!! My heart is still hurting and my body is weak but I will get through the trip. I might cry when I see them, and I know forsure when i leave. However I will have a better understanding on things after I talk to them face to face. My only feelings right now, is hurt, scared and nervous, kinda excited but the other feeling over rule the excitement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brendan1104 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Suggestion: don't say 'beaver dam' and 'lmao' in front of them. Have a good trip! [quote name='Sixtina87' post='1028153' date='Jul 21 2006, 08:34 AM'] well, everyone, I am leaving today to spend time on retreat and not so much with the Sisters, sadly!!!! My heart is still hurting and my body is weak but I will get through the trip. I might cry when I see them, and I know forsure when i leave. However I will have a better understanding on things after I talk to them face to face. My only feelings right now, is hurt, scared and nervous, kinda excited but the other feeling over rule the excitement! [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 [quote name='Sixtina87' post='1028153' date='Jul 21 2006, 07:34 AM'] well, everyone, I am leaving today to spend time on retreat and not so much with the Sisters, sadly!!!! My heart is still hurting and my body is weak but I will get through the trip. I might cry when I see them, and I know forsure when i leave. However I will have a better understanding on things after I talk to them face to face. My only feelings right now, is hurt, scared and nervous, kinda excited but the other feeling over rule the excitement! [/quote] Oh have a wonderful trip, and please enjoy yourself, lay it all on Jesus He will take care of you!!!! God Bless you!! Have a safe trip, and I will be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Nicole, Other than the short PM I sent you a couple of days ago I've yet to respond to this thread because, quite frankly, I didn't know what words to use. While praying the Divine Office today I came across this and immediately thought of you. I'm not sure whether this will give you consolation or not but I thought I'd post it. [b]Psalm 69[/b] 1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. 2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. 3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God. 4 They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away. 5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee. 6 Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord GOD of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel. 7 Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face. 8 I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother’s children. 9 For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me. 10 When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach. 11 I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them. 12 They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards. 13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation. 14 Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters. 15 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. 16 Hear me, O LORD; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies. 17 And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 Awwww...well good luck with it all and God Bless You Nicole. Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Peace be with you, Nicole...I hope you had a gentle retreat...Read about St. Faustina & Sister Mary of the Trinity...both of them went to many communities before they found their home...prayers here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Perpetualove Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Nicole, In times of trouble and sadness, one thing has brought me much comfort - from St. Teresa's bookmark: Let nothing disturb thee Let nothing affright thee All things are passing God alone never changes God has not deserted you. He has another plan for you; something more wonderful and more amazing than what you - in your limited humanity - cannot see now. There will be a day when you will be welcomed with the open and loving arms of Christ. You will feel the presence of the Blessed Virgin's motherly arms enfolding you, you will know you are home, and you will be graced by a community that has a place just for you. I am so thrilled to see that you have been so lovingly cared and prayed for by this community. Know my prayers have been added as well. I hope this alone brings you much comfort. Stay strong and know that Jesus is the master of the boat, even though right now, the seas are stormy. Trust in HIM! Love and prayers, Perpetualove Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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