Worst Confession Experience Ever

[the_rev]

The availability for confession, now when I'm a priest, if someone called me and asked me, "I was wondering if you would hear my confession" I would say yes, in a heart beat. Confession is a gateway to our Lord, and a gateway to grace. Thus why should that grace be denied anyone. If I was a priest, I'd drop whatever I was doing, and hear that confession, for if someone takes the effort to go out of his way to call me for Confession, why turn the individual away? How many people do you know calling for confession to random priests in the area? Not many eh?

This is the story of my day. I had a steering committe meeting tonight for a Republican Canidate for Governor, it was half way from the metropolitan area, so I decided to go to the big city, and I needed to go to confession, so what a great time. In the past, I have always gone to St. Norbert Abbey, an Abbey of the Cannon Regulars of Premontre, founded by St. Norbert himself. I get to the abbey, and the secretary called every priest, and there was not one priest around the abbey today. No priest to hear my confession.

I asked the lady for a phonebook, and I decided to call parishes in the area and talked to their secretary and said to the secretary, "I was wondering if I could speak with your parish Priest." I called literally eleven parishes, the only two I didn't call were my parish and the sister parish. Either no one answered the phone, the priest was on vacation, or the priest was in a meeting or unavailable. I finally spoke with one priest, who couldn't make time to hear confession because he was getting ready to head out of town in two hours; though I was fifteen minutes away from the parish.

Finally a Nobertine priest arrived at the abbey, he heard my confession. It was the worst confession experience in my life. The priest didn't have me make an act of contrition, nor did he use the correct form of absolution. I have heard of a modified absolution, with just "Through the ministry of the Church I absolve you from your sins, etc." I have always been told that if the priest said, I absolve the confession was valid. However this priest didn't even do that, he said, "In the name of Jesus who forgives all sins he forgives you in the name of the, etc." I was upset, I just confessed mortal sins to this priest, and I wasn't forgiven, I drove thiry miles to be absolved, and I wasn't.

I decided to call my parish, we have a new parochial vicar, called the office he wasn't around, called his cell phone, didn't answer. So I decided to call the office again and asked for Monsignor. Monsignor was around, I told him my situation, how I thought i went to confession but I really didn't. I told the MSGR that I would be driving by the Cathedral in five minutes, he said, drop by and I'll hear your confession.

So an hour after tyring to find a confessor, I was finally absolved.

It's funny, the quest a person will go on to seek the sacraments, but in the end, it will be worth it, when God willing I enter into the Kingdom. I can not believed I once thought I was called to the abbey, an abbey I now realize is very progressive, even lingering on the liberal side. They don't even use the hosts for holy communion, they use crackers, and the wine is red wine or whatever that is required, they use a yellow wine or something. I am so glad that I ended vocation contact with the order, and I honestly don't think I'm going to step foot on the abbey grounds again. I full heartedly intend to call my pastor at the Cathedral, confession this afternoon with him, was for the first time in awhile, I feel God's grace fully present in my life.

I encourage blog readers to go to Confession! It is a great way to start over, and with God's grace you can honestly start anew.

On another note: I found a spiritual director. We will be getting to gether on Tuesday. Praise God!

In the Lord,

Ed L.

Via: [url="http://mariandevotion.blogspot.com"]To Jesus Through Mary[/url]

[DAF]

Yeah, I've had quite a time finding a confessor too. Thankfully I found a parish around my house that does them in the morning before 2nd mass, so I go to confession (if I need to) and then stay for mass. It's really a good deal. There's only one of the priests that I like as a confessor though, and since the priests (there's 3 of them) alternate for like 3 months at a time for confessions, I don't get to see him in the morning for proably 6 months.
It's okay though, a sacrament's a sacrament.

[Fides_et_Ratio]

FYI,

white wine is permissible, and used to be used in early centuries because of it's cleanliness (accidental spillage, or whathaveyou). the requirements for the wine say nothing about what color grapes have to have been used to make the wine:

[quote]"The wine that is used in the most sacred celebration of the Eucharistic Sacrifice must be natural, from the fruit of the grape, pure and incorrupt, not mixed with other substances. ... It is altogether forbidden to use wine of doubtful authenticity or provenance, for the Church requires certainty regarding the conditions necessary for the validity of the sacraments. Nor are other drinks of any kind to be admitted for any reason, as they do not constitute valid matter."[/quote]
(Redemptionis Sacramentum, no. 50).

and this is from Zenit.org
[quote]Finally, a reader asked if only red colored wine should be used at Mass in order to better convey the sign of Christ's blood.

While the use of red wine might appear better from an external point of view, especially in countries were Communion under both species is common, it has nothing to do with the validity of the sacrament. Hence, white wine may be legitimately used.

In fact, many older liturgical manuals preferred white wine for cleanliness' sake, as red wine often left permanent stains when wiping the lips of cruets or from accidental spillage.

No matter what color the wine is, the Eucharist will always remain as a mystery of faith which goes beyond the senses. [/quote]

[the_rev]

Well thank you for that fides_et_ratio, I was always told that it needed to be red. Now I know....

In the Lord,

Ed

[Pontifite 7 of 10]

Your day was the work of Satin! Thats right I know it was you! Stop It!
Good job on it! I think I would have givin up.

God Bless.

[Janana8706]

WOW that really surpises me that you had that hard of a time finding a priest. Around here they're pretty good about seeing you. My friend once went to confession in the priest's car, in the middle of the summer.

[Birgitta Noel]

I've been to confession in many "odd" places

--in my house
--in a car while driving (I had to stop in the midst of it to focus on the traffic! I was driving my SD to the airport and it was our only chance!)
--walking across campus and down a country road
--outside the hospital on a bench
--too many other odd "non-church" places to recall



Ed, glad you finally found a priest to hear your confession!

[mortify]

Peace in Christ Ed,

I had a similar experience with priests seeming to neglect their pastoral care but it wasn't revolving confession.

My family has been going through some difficulty, my aunt and uncle are getting a divorce and that has really put a toll on my aunt. She's was really depressed one night and so she called the local rectory at 10pm thinking the priest could offer some consolation. She was litterally crying on the phone asking for help and the priest just told her to call back in the morning. This really hurt her, luckily though she has not left the Church over it.

I could really rant about this but im not going. Some priests have to realize they're not just actors playing out mass every sunday, there is a real responsibility towards tending the flock and unfortunately some fail that. Let's pray for a stronger Church (laity included).

[the_rev]

I've gone to confession in the basement of a church, in a tent, on an airplane,

Those are my weird places.

In the Lord,

Ed

[Lilllabettt]

I'm sorry you had this icky experience. Almost everyone, I think, has had a crummy Confession experience. They really are an almost unbearable thing, because the mixture of mercy and bitterness has a terrible spiritual taste. I wonder how many people have gone to a "bad" Confession and never found the courage to go again? Lord Jesus, save us!

From a human perspective, crummy experiences with priests are understandable. As far as Confession is concerned, hearing Confessions is a rather unpleasant, thankless task.

And the priesthood itself is a full-time, forever job. It's like being a Mom or a Dad, only you've got a billion kids, and a few million of them are always going through some life-altering crisis and they [i]really[/i] need you [i]right now[/i]. The demands are never-ending and huge, and people get frustrated and tired.

The least understandable thing is the disobedience. Priests should know better. But again, priests are human beings, and they can fall under the spells of the devil just as easily as we do.

We need to pray for our priests.

[jenna311]

A few summers ago, a seminarian was doing his pastoral year at our parish. (He just got ordained in June, it was incredible to see!) He told us several times that it was our right as a Catholic to ask a priest whenever we needed Confession, and they should, unless they had a very good reason not to. (And if they couldnt do anything at that moment, make plans to meet later or something.)

[Birgitta Noel]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1024997' date='Jul 15 2006, 10:38 AM']
I'm sorry you had this icky experience. Almost everyone, I think, has had a crummy Confession experience. They really are an almost unbearable thing, because the mixture of mercy and bitterness has a terrible spiritual taste. I wonder how many people have gone to a "bad" Confession and never found the courage to go again? Lord Jesus, save us!

From a human perspective, crummy experiences with priests are understandable. As far as Confession is concerned, hearing Confessions is a rather unpleasant, thankless task.

And the priesthood itself is a full-time, forever job. It's like being a Mom or a Dad, only you've got a billion kids, and a few million of them are always going through some life-altering crisis and they [i]really[/i] need you [i]right now[/i]. The demands are never-ending and huge, and people get frustrated and tired.

The least understandable thing is the disobedience. Priests should know better. But again, priests are human beings, and they can fall under the spells of the devil just as easily as we do.

We need to pray for our priests.
[/quote]


Lilllabettt, thanks for this timely reminder. We MUST pray for our priests. It is often nice to end a confession telling the priest that we will remember him in our prayers. So many times we ask them to pray for us and we don't return the favor.

I remember when I was a teenager our pastor grabbed my arm looked me in the arm and said, "Pray for me" I was dumbstruck. The look in his eyes was one of pleading and I've never forgotten it.

Mother of God pray for our Priests! Keep them close to your Son.

Edited July 15, 2006 by The Little Way

[at0m1c]

The Norbertines are like that? I was under the impression that they were a good traditional order... sigh.

[the_rev]

Norbertines in Wisconsin are like that, Norbertiens in California are the good guys

[Thumper]

A different perspective on this is that priests and ministers need down-time, too. They are in vocations that call them to give themselves to others who are deeply in need. If they do not take time away for prayer and reflection and leisure, becoming burned out is all too likely. Jesus set the example for this by going away from his disciples and from the crowds in order to pray.

The need for healthy boundaries and "down time" is part of why parishes schedule particular times for the sacraments to be offered, and why ministers have regular office hours and appointment books.

Ed, your desire to seek the sacrament is good and holy. However: Were there reasons that you couldn't have gone during the regular time during which reconciliation is offered? Or called ahead to set up an appointment for confession? It sorta sounds like you decided--"Hey, I need to go to confession--and therefore everyone else (i.e., the priest, the parish secretaries who spent time trying to track down the priests, etc.) had better be immediately available to accomodate my schedule."

Now, obviously emergency situations call for a pastoral reponse, but I've also seen many laity approach pastoral care and the sacraments with a consumeristic attitude. In our culture of fast food and 24/7 convenience stores some people want what they want and they want it RIGHT NOW. Discerning need and want is a big challenge (and I'm not saying that I'm proficient at it) but I think that it's a good thing to do, and a great thing to keep in mind when we consider the human frailties of our priests and pastoral counselors.