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Correcting my wife on obligation to Mass


jswranch

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My better half is in Norfolk, VA to see inlaws with our kids. She missed mass last weekend and did not plan on attending next sunday due to inconvenience of transportation and finding a CC in the area (yes, she has a phone, phone book and a car). I reminded her she is obliged to go every sunday and holy day of obligation. Her response was that God would understand even if she missed and did not have the energy to go (after finding mass and times): the issue was not really that big of a deal. I reminded her that her new faith (reception into Catholic Church on 30 april 06) did not allow her to pick and choose demands.



I like to think I conveyed this message lovingly and charitably.

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[quote name='Dreamweaver' post='1007261' date='Jun 17 2006, 07:37 AM']
Does she know that she needs to confess before receiving the Eucharist?
[/quote]
No. Doesn't the penitential rite in the mass cover things like this?


She is going through a desert experience. From the AG tradition, she has expected some epiphany about the spleandor of the church and be 'on fire for God' again... it has not happened.

Edited by jswranch
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Dreamweaver

[quote name='jswranch' post='1007318' date='Jun 17 2006, 12:41 PM']
No. Doesn't the penitential rite in the mass cover things like this?
She is going through a desert experience. From the AG tradition, she has expected some epiphany about the spleandor of the church and be 'on fire for God' again... it has not happened.
[/quote]


From the GIRM..
[quote]
The Act of Penitence

51. Then the priest invites those present to take part in the Act of Penitence, which, after a brief pause for silence, the entire community carries out through a formula of general confession. The rite concludes with the priest's absolution, which, however, lacks the efficacy of the Sacrament of Penance.

On Sundays, especially in the Season of Easter, in place of the customary Act of Penitence, from time to time the blessing and sprinkling of water to recall Baptism may take place.56
[/quote]


The Act of Penitence doesn't remit one from grave sins, which is what the sacrament of reconciliation is for. It sounds like from your description, that your wife didn't really have a grave reason for skipping mass. Maybe a Church scholar can clarify this more, and if I'm wrong, please correct me!

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phatcatholic

if she didn't have a grave reason for missing mass, then she has sinned gravely by not going. some articles on our sunday obligation:
[url="http://www.phatmass.com/directory/index.php/cat_id/573"]http://www.phatmass.com/directory/index.php/cat_id/573[/url]

also, dreamweaver is right about the Act of Penitence.

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Just to muddy things up a bit more....

If she wasn't aware that she was committing a grave sin by not going to Mass on Sunday, then she doesn't need to go to confession before recieving the Eucharist, but should go soon.

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Fulton Sheen Warrior

+JMJ+


[quote]Her response was that God would understand even if she missed and did not have the energy to go [/quote]


I'm sure Jesus didn't have the energy to be crucified after a full night of prayer and extreme sorrow either.
Remind her that Jesus loved her enough to die for her. (He didn't even have to, He chose to).

In sacred Scripture Jesus says "[i]Do this [/i] in commemoration of me". This is a command.
Bottom line going to Mass should be about love. If we love Him we will keep His comandments.


I hope this helps.

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[quote name='morostheos' post='1007426' date='Jun 17 2006, 04:32 PM']
Just to muddy things up a bit more....

If she wasn't aware that she was committing a grave sin by not going to Mass on Sunday, then she doesn't need to go to confession before recieving the Eucharist, but should go soon.
[/quote]
Over the phone, I had read her CCC 2180-2181 which end with the sentence, "Those who deliberately fail in the obligation commit a grave sin."

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homeschoolmom

Prayers for your wife. It's difficult sometimes to conform to a whole new set of beliefs and expectations. :pray:

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LouisvilleFan

[quote name='jswranch' post='1007242' date='Jun 17 2006, 08:13 AM']
My better half is in Norfolk, VA to see inlaws with our kids. She missed mass last weekend and did not plan on attending next sunday due to inconvenience of transportation and finding a CC in the area (yes, she has a phone, phone book and a car). I reminded her she is obliged to go every sunday and holy day of obligation. Her response was that God would understand even if she missed and did not have the energy to go (after finding mass and times): the issue was not really that big of a deal. I reminded her that her new faith (reception into Catholic Church on 30 april 06) did not allow her to pick and choose demands.
I like to think I conveyed this message lovingly and charitably.
[/quote]

I guess none of the other relatives are attending Mass? She may just be self-conscious about going off to Mass when everyone else is doing something else or attending a different church. It's not a valid reason, but it helps to know what the reason is whether it's valid or not. The first time a convert has to handle those situations is always the most difficult.

Or perhaps she still has doubts about the Real Presence? We all do occasionally, but I can imagine those doubts are greater for some new converts. But when we receive that the gift of faith, it should take a lot more than an uncomfortable situation to keep one away from Mass :)

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Extra ecclesiam nulla salus

this situation is quite common, and understandable. What should we expect people to do when society (and the government) does not encourage or require mass attendance? It is very hard to be a catholic in a society like the one we live. It is quite a sad situation. i have experienced the same thing many many time from my own family. Although it is understandable, it is never acceptable. I'll say some prayers for you wife. Just remember that You have the obligation as head of the family to make certain decisions for the family. Ephesians 5:24: Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. Your wife must sumbit to you, and you should encourage her to go to mass. Rememer without charity we are nothing.

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Cow of Shame

There's only one way to correct a woman:

"Slap her down again pa
Slap her down again
Make her tell us more pa
Tell us where she's been
We don't want our neighbors
Talkin' bout our kin
Slap her down again pa
Slap her down again"

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thessalonian

Well we can make the difficulty of finding a mass easy.

[url="http://www.parishesonline.com/scripts/HostedSites/USMap.asp"]http://www.parishesonline.com/scripts/HostedSites/USMap.asp[/url]
www.masstimes.org
www.masstimes.com

Is'n't the internet grand. No excuse for sin anymore. :(

Edited by thessalonian
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In Christ I Trust

I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. I would pray for your wife, that she comes to understand the importance of attending mass on Sunday. Say a rosary and ask the Blessed Mother for her intervention. As mentioned before she may feel out of place if those she is with do not attend mass. That is a tough situation but she cannot allow their lack of faith to ruin hers.
Regarding her desire to feel the fire of Christ in her heart again, I've found that in my expierience I only feel it when I am in a state of grace and keep God and his intentions on my mind and in my life. The fire of faith is an incredible feeling but it takes work to achieve.

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[quote name='Extra ecclesiam nulla salus' post='1007886' date='Jun 18 2006, 06:35 PM']
this situation is quite common, and understandable. What should we expect people to do when society (and the government) does not encourage or require mass attendance? It is very hard to be a catholic in a society like the one we live.
[/quote]
Yeah, how can we Catholics expect to do our religious duties without the government to force them on us?!

She should have had two cops kindly escort her to mass! :rolleyes:

Edited by Socrates
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