Relationships?

[let_go_let_God]

From what I've heard, it's a normal question because they also want to know if you have explored if God might be calling you to the married life. One of my friends who is now a priest was actually within a month of getting married before he called off the wedding and entered the seminary.

God bless-
LGLG

[LouisvilleFan]

When I was becoming pretty serious about pursuing a vocation to the priesthood, including prayer and just trying to figure out what would make me happy in life, I wondered about this because I've only had one relationship in my life and it was less than six months and somewhat on-and-off-again. Seems until age 22 I had one of the symptons of homosexuality ;-) Put simply, I wanted to figure out if my lack of success in a career and dating life were part of God's calling or if I was using religious life as a convenient solution to both problems. However, I'm not about to go out and start dating someone just so I can check off that box. I don't have the motivation to go through with stuff that doesn't come from the heart.

So I've been praying it about all that and God must be answering (surprised? . Almost three months ago I met a girl at a friend's wedding and we've been dating for about two months now. Religious life is now on the back burner, but it's not out of the question. And concerning my career, almost by divine providence I got a call back from an online job application. A week later I was interviewed and offered a full-time, salaried position (a first for me). Maybe I'm called to marriage... or maybe not... for now the most important thing is pursuing holiness as a lay Catholic.

Of course, God doesn't answer everybody's prayers like he has for me, but you can look into your own heart and examine your motivation for seeking the religious life. If there are doubts, give them up to God. If that's where God is calling you, no earthly obstacles (even from within the Church) won't be allowed to stand in the way!

[ThyWillBeDone]

This is a complicated issue, and one hotly debated among my fellow seminarians. While I would agree that it is normal for any teen to date, I also do not think dating should be a requirement for entrance into the seminary. For example I have some brother seminarians who did not discern a calll till they were 20 or older and they dated, and often had serious relationships. (I for example dated and had one serious relationship) I also have brother seminarians who were discerning a call since they were very young, some of these men never dated. They were in high school and planned on entering the seminary as soon as they graduated, so they did not think it was necessary or even prudent to date. Getting invovled in a relationship with the expectation that it would not go anyway seem illogical to them. In my opinion it is not important for a seminarian to have dated, for some it can be helpful for others is completely unnecessary. In short if you feel called to the seminary or religious life, do not let the fact they you have not dated hold you back.

On a secondary note, the idea that to know if you are called to one vocation you must have "tried" in some way other vocations, is just plan incorrect.
God Bless

Edited June 18, 2006 by ThyWillBeDone

[Norseman82]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1006950' date='Jun 16 2006, 01:45 PM']
A cold heart makes a very poor religious indeed, for you will live in community, not alone
[/quote]

Unfortunately, a cold heart often comes from suppressing one's feelings after being "shot down" once too often and told it's a mortal sin to date or told by others what God wants and doesn't want from you personally (above and beyond what the Bible and Cathechism teach).

You just can't win these days...

[Domine ut Videam]

I think that it all depends on the person. Because to say that a person who doesn't date has a cold heart is a bit harsh. I am 17 years old ,a senior in HS, and i have never dated. I have never actually had a crush on a guy. You might say that God has saved me completely for Himself. But there are others for whom i can see that they would need to date in order to see God's will on their lives......it all depends on the person because we are all different. None of us are the same. :

-Yours in Christ
Lauren

[TheresaMF]

I agree with Lauren. Although I am 22, I too have never dated, although I have had crushes on guys. During college I didn't know any guys very well, but over this past year teaching I've become friends with some really great Catholic guys. Besides the fact that they are awesome people and fun to talk with, I am happy because it reassures me that I can get along with the opposite sex in a normal way.

So I'd say it's most important to have healthy friendships with people of both sexes. This way you are involved in wholesome human relationships, you don't have a "cold heart," and you learn skills of getting along with people that are essential in any vocation. If you also date and are involved in pure romantic relationships, that's great. But I personally wouldn't advise someone who thought they had a religious/priestly vocation to date just for the experience.

[stlmom]

So I'd say it's most important to have healthy friendships with people of both sexes. This way you are involved in wholesome human relationships, you don't have a "cold heart," and you learn skills of getting along with people that are essential in any vocation. If you also date and are involved in pure romantic relationships, that's great. But I personally wouldn't advise someone who thought they had a religious/priestly vocation to date just for the experience.
[/quote]


Well said, Theresa!!