Fulton Sheen Warrior Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 +JMJ+ I have a question. If someone has no romantic history, would this pose a problem in terms of enterance into the seminary? I know of men who were turned away from seminary because they never dated. Is this some kind of unwritten policy? To be frank, while I do have the desire to have a relationship, I don't feel I have the need for one. I feel as though I would much rather give my life to Christ, and become a spouse of His Church. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I can't imagine that you should be required to have dated before entrance. Maybe they were looking to see that you could have healthy relationships/friendships with those of the opposite sex? Have you talked to any vocation directors? When I was looking into rel life (I know. . .I'm female, but still) no one even asked me how often I'd dated or anything like that. Let us know what you find out, if you do wind up speaking with any priests! That's an interesting topic. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I've heard of that before... quite a bit actually. I really think it depends on the person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 me too, I think it depends on allot, mainly the person and the order, and allot of other details. Let us know when you recieve further information God Bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Perpetualove Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 This depends greatly upon the Diocese (if you are considering a Diocese). Los Angeles - you can't win. If you dated, why didn't any of them work out? If you didn't, what was wrong with you? I guess our Seminary issues are obvious by the numbers alone. Most Orders tend to look for healthy, well adjusted men. Men who are independent and yet can flourish in community. Who can express themselves in a healthy way; with gentle kindness and also hold appropriate boundaries. Having a romantic past is a normal process many people experience, and I believe would only strengthen one's Vocation; knowing what they are saying NO to. Of course, that is much different than "running away," which in Los Angeles...well....don't get me started! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I think someone here ran into that problem.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary_clare Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 [quote name='Perpetualove' post='1006681' date='Jun 15 2006, 09:56 PM'] This depends greatly upon the Diocese (if you are considering a Diocese). Los Angeles - you can't win. If you dated, why didn't any of them work out? If you didn't, what was wrong with you? I guess our Seminary issues are obvious by the numbers alone. Most Orders tend to look for healthy, well adjusted men. Men who are independent and yet can flourish in community. Who can express themselves in a healthy way; with gentle kindness and also hold appropriate boundaries. Having a romantic past is a normal process many people experience, and I believe would only strengthen one's Vocation; knowing what they are saying NO to. Of course, that is much different than "running away," which in Los Angeles...well....don't get me started! [/quote] I'm in the Los Angeles Archdiocese. Ive heard very similar things about the dating issue. How many are ordained here usually? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemma Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 [quote name='Fulton Sheen Warrior' post='1006561' date='Jun 15 2006, 09:00 PM'] +JMJ+ I have a question. If someone has no romantic history, would this pose a problem in terms of enterance into the seminary? I know of men who were turned away from seminary because they never dated. Is this some kind of unwritten policy? To be frank, while I do have the desire to have a relationship, I don't feel I have the need for one. I feel as though I would much rather give my life to Christ, and become a spouse of His Church. Any thoughts? [/quote] I can understand their concern about it. For one thing, they're really cracking down on homosexuals, and one symptom of that is no relationships with women. I personally believe that Our Lord and Our Lady can lead someone to religious life without guiding them through relationships. Look at the Little Flower--or Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity. The latter attended parties, but said something about "keeping watch over my heart." What about the priest-saints who wanted nothing but God? Were they ever questioned? Coming back to the woman's side of the issue, though, a mother superior once told me "Any nun could have a man," meaning the nuns were well-adjusted emotionally, and if they left the convent, could enter a permanent relationship with the opposite sex. In a lot of ways, psychology has thrown up roadblocks that didn't used to exist. Blessings, Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fulton Sheen Warrior Posted June 16, 2006 Author Share Posted June 16, 2006 +JMJ+ Thanks that helps! I will be meeting with by diocesan Vocation Director soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awyers Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 All of the orders I have looked into asked me right off the bat if I had been in any relationships and how serious they were. It kinda took me by surprise! I didnt know if they wanted to know if I had experienced both aspects of life to make me a more rounded person or if they wanted to know just how "invloved" I had been and what kind of history I had! Good luck with your meeting!!!! God Bless, Allison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 No community wants a cold heart who does not know how to love and be loved. Dating will not kill your desire for religioius life if you truly have a vocation, but that does not mean wanton sexual affairs. A normal teenager dates, or at least has some attaction to the opposite sex. It is important to understand a few things about the opposite sex, and you can't just read about it, you must experience it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
be_thou_my_vision Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 [quote name='alicemary' post='1006765' date='Jun 16 2006, 07:13 AM'] No community wants a cold heart who does not know how to love and be loved. Dating will not kill your desire for religioius life if you truly have a vocation, but that does not mean wanton sexual affairs. A normal teenager dates, or at least has some attaction to the opposite sex. It is important to understand a few things about the opposite sex, and you can't just read about it, you must experience it. [/quote] This is what a vocations director told me! That dating teaches us communication in tough times and it gives us a chance to learn how to love and be loved, which is very important considering religious life/priesthood (any vocation, at that) is motivated by pure love. God Bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wannabesomething Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 [quote name='be_thou_my_vision' post='1006904' date='Jun 16 2006, 11:29 AM'] This is what a vocations director told me! That dating teaches us communication in tough times and it gives us a chance to learn how to love and be loved, which is very important considering religious life/priesthood (any vocation, at that) is motivated by pure love. God Bless you! [/quote] I like that! That makes perfect sense to me. Without love, no one can live! So, if we don't learn how to love others, then we wont truely serve God! AWESOME!! God Love You, Carolyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Thanks. That is why I always love devotion to the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary. I may not have become a nun, but I know that the most important thing we can do in our lives is to love others and allow ourselves to be loved back. A cold heart makes a very poor religious indeed, for you will live in community, not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wannabesomething Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 [quote name='alicemary' post='1006950' date='Jun 16 2006, 12:45 PM'] A cold heart makes a very poor religious indeed, for you will live in community, not alone [/quote] I completely agree! For we are individually, uniquely called but we live out the calling through community living. This involves us sharing our lives with others, ups and downs. How cool! God Love You, Carolyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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