Calling All Visitors What Is Visitng A Cloistered Monastery Like?

[AlterDominicus]

I'm visiting a Cist. communty in July, they are cloistered, whats it like to visit a cloistered monastery?

P.S.: This my 1st actual visit to a actual monastery aside from just volunteering at LSP.

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

Someone here has visited with those Sisters before... I just forget who though...

[Gemma]

[quote name='AlterDominicus' post='998683' date='Jun 6 2006, 04:27 PM']
I'm visiting a Cist. communty in July, they are cloistered, whats it like to visit a cloistered monastery?

P.S.: This my 1st actual visit to a actual monastery aside from just volunteering at LSP.
[/quote]


I think you'll enjoy it--that is if you're truly called to contemplative life. As my prof before graduating college said, "The walls are real."

Chapel visits almost always take place the minute you walk in the front door of the extern quarters.

The nuns are real sweet. That'll prolly be evident from the time you set foot in the enclosure door. They may or may not have some kind of entrance ceremony. When I visited the Toledo Visitation, the Mother Superior and Novice Mistress met me on the other side of the enclosure door.

There will be ample time for personal prayer. You'll probably sit in on novitiate classes, participate in some labor, but don't expect to be included in all community devotions.

Meals--more than likely silent and very simple. There will be a sister reading from the Rule or some other devotional book. I believe the WI O.Cists get up in the middle of the night for prayer. I have a video tape of their life, and it's soooo peaceful to watch.

You'll probably have conferences with the novice mistress/vocation director.

This is about all I can tell you right now. I'm working on a memoir of my vocation retreat with the Toledo Visitation. Please pray I can get it done.

Blessings,
Gemma

[TheresaMF]

Sounds like Gemma went inside . . .

When I visited two different Dominican monasteries, I stayed outside the cloister in guestrooms. When the nuns prayed the office in their chapel behind the grille, I joined their prayers in the outer chapel. For meals, they delivered food to me in a turn or on a little cart, unobtrusively, and I ate by myself. At one monastery, spend some time by myself praying, reading, writing papers for school, and a lot of the time talking in the parlor with the vocations directress. I had never visited a cloister before, and she told me lots and lots about the Dominican contemplative life. I also got to meet the prioress, although I was a tad confused about that. In the other monastery, I spoke with the vocations directress and the prioress in the parlor a few times, another elderly nun came and told me her vocations story, and then the whole community joined me in the parlor for part of their recreation time (awesome!!). Other than that, I prayed before Our Lord in Adoration, read some books, and did a lot of preparation for school. Walked around the grounds outside the cloister.

Both times were very relaxing and spiritually refreshing.

P.S. I should also say, the silence was AWESOME.

Edited June 6, 2006 by TheresaMF

[alicemary]

I am not sure about the community you will be visiting, but with most cloistered nuns you stay in the extern quarters or the guest quarters. If they have externs, you may spend alot of time with them. Therese is right on about her experiences, as they have been mine also. Are you visiting for the day or spending several days??? If just for the day, you will meet with probably the voc direct who can be the novice mistress also. You will probably meet the Prioress also. Some communities allow all the sisters to come out to the parlor and meet with you, but that will vary.
If you have never visited nuns with a grille that is also interesting. You forget it is there after a few minutes. Cloistered nuns tend to be very warm and really intrested in you. You will be made to feel very welcome indeed. They will feed you too and offer you something to drink.
When you first enter the monastery drink in the silence. It is so deep! You feel like this is a very holy space indeed.
Above all just be yourself! Enjoy your time there, relax, they are thrilled to have you visit.
Please feel free to contact me off phatmass to talk further. I have spent alot of time at a Monastery and would love to talk to you.
You will have such a great time!

[AlterDominicus]

Wow. See its more so like a friend visit since I know I am not called to that community, its just to taste a bigger dose of their daily life type thing, I know two sisters there, they are wonderful. Its going to be very interesting I'll tell you that one for sure. You could say it will also be like my silent retreat for me. Hehe.

[Guest Perpetualove]

It all depends upon the community and your reason for visiting. If you are one hundred percent sure that you are not called to the life, and there is no chance of changing your mind (either because of your age or marital status or something else), chances are you will be treated very comfortably, like a guest.
If there is a chance that you could open your heart and find resting there the hidden surprise of an invitation from God, you will be treated as a guest, with additional opportunities to discuss your life and talents with the Vocation Mistress.
The Cistercians in WI - if that is you who will be visiting - live constitutional enclosure, which is different than Papal Enclosure. That means that you will be allowed to interact with the nuns without a grille. If you are a visiting a Trappist community (and many people use the titles interchangeably), if would depend upon the community, though I believe the majority of the Trappistines do not practice Papal Enclosure.
As for visiting other Cloistered communities, again, it is always different. Most communities welcome their guests to partake in their life, and their guests are given chores to do which are appropriate to their lives, skills, talents and abilities. Some communities except their guests to participate in all aspects of their life of prayer, others are more relaxed about that and allow the guests to come and go as they find appropriate (sometimes participating in the whole Office can be very overwhelming at first). If you find yourself seriously considering a vocation, again, depending upon the Congregation and the rules of the Community, you may or may not be invited wtihin the cloister. I have been on different Retreats at Regina Laudis in CT., and some of the work I was assigned took place within the cloister. Of course, I had to receive permission from either the Lady Abbess (now they use the title of "Mother Abbess" - since the Lady Abbess died - or the permission of the Mother Prioress). I have also been on two retreats with Carmelites in which I was invited within the cloister, again with permission. I have visited two Poor Clare Monasteries and was never invited in, and it is my understanding those in discernment never see the Cloister until the day of entrance. I believe some of the more traditional Carmels do this as well, though I also think almost all of them allow for the three week visit for the average interested young women.
You didn't ask about clothing. I would definitely bring long skirts (comfortable), sneakers and comfortable shirts (long sleeved) that you can wear over tee shirts. (It might get hot and you can put the long shirts on for the cloister - if you go inside - or when you are in the Chapel.) Try to wear soft soled shoes (like those little white sneakers for inside - if you can). Dress modestly, plainly, and don't wear too much makeup! (And be careful of perfume) Also, make sure you pack a robe! Once I went on a retreat, not imagining I would be staying in the cloister. The Bathrooms were down the hall, and I had to walk down there during the night. I don't have a robe, and all the Sisters were in them. (I live alone, and I honestly didn't think about it!) I felt very self conscious about not having one, though they were just lovely. The Monasteries are always really great about laundry needs, so don't worry about packing too little. If you have to buy a skirt, I would recommend that you get either a denim or a denim jumper. Expect that you will most likely be invited to work outside with the nuns. The Cistercians in WI make altar breads. You might possibly get to help with that, or with packaging, but please remember to bring one thing you don't care about (or is sturdy - like denim) in the event you are outside.
Some communities ask their guests to eat alone or with other guests. Some invite you to eat with them, and some have little kitchens in their guest houses. I strongly recommend that you pack some power bars or something that will tide you over in the event you get hungry or have food issues. It is best to try your hardest to eat whatever they give you - they are sharing their very food, and remember they live in poverty. They also cook for many, so having tons of special needs is often difficult for the cook. If you do have special needs, just take small portions and supplement your food with the bars, which last and are transportable.
Lastly, and whew! I know is this long, but this is really important and often ignored! Bring a hostess gift! It doesn't have to be big. Candy (chocolate) is always a hit. You need to bring something that can be shared with the whole Community. It doesn't have to be expensive. Stationery is also always a great hostess gift. Even if you go to a local paper shop, and just buy a special card for each sister, as a hello gift - it will be much appreciated. When leaving, please don't forget to write a thank you note. Of course, you should write to whomever took care of you (the Guest Mistress), the Mother Prioress or Abbess, any nuns you worked with or encountered and the Sister Portress. If you are on a limited budge, a wonderful gift is to give each sister a small spiritual bouquet. It doesn't cost anything, and it's a valuable, treasured gift. You can easily call the Monastery ahead of time and tellt the Sister Portress that you want to bring something and find out how many Sisters are there. You can ask her to keep it a surprise. It has been my experience that they also do, and if they don't the Nuns are wonderful actresses!
Hope this is enough information. Let me know if you need more! Good luck and have a WONDERFUL time! Love in Him, Perpetua

Two more things:
Be honest about what kind of work you do so you will get to do something you will enjoy. It will make the experience so much better!
Bring some books. Sometimes the Monasteries are not willing to let the retreatants share in their library, and again, all depending upon the Order. Use the time for spiritual reading, so don't think I am recommending a novel! Cistercian Publications in Kalamazoo has excellent books. And the new book about the Carthusians: [u]An Infinity of Little Hours[/u][b] is amazing...it will really get into the spirit of religious life! Again, good luck, and please pray for all of us! xoxo Perpetua

[Gemma]

[quote name='TheresaMF' post='998844' date='Jun 6 2006, 06:26 PM']
Sounds like Gemma went inside . . .

When I visited two different Dominican monasteries, I stayed outside the cloister in guestrooms. When the nuns prayed the office in their chapel behind the grille, I joined their prayers in the outer chapel. For meals, they delivered food to me in a turn or on a little cart, unobtrusively, and I ate by myself. At one monastery, spend some time by myself praying, reading, writing papers for school, and a lot of the time talking in the parlor with the vocations directress. I had never visited a cloister before, and she told me lots and lots about the Dominican contemplative life. I also got to meet the prioress, although I was a tad confused about that. In the other monastery, I spoke with the vocations directress and the prioress in the parlor a few times, another elderly nun came and told me her vocations story, and then the whole community joined me in the parlor for part of their recreation time (awesome!!). Other than that, I prayed before Our Lord in Adoration, read some books, and did a lot of preparation for school. Walked around the grounds outside the cloister.

Both times were very relaxing and spiritually refreshing.

P.S. I should also say, the silence was AWESOME.
[/quote]

The Visitation allows cloistered retreats for discerners and laity.

Blessings,
Gemma

[ForHimAlone]

I've been had a very close relationship with the Cistercian community in Wisconsin, and I'm assuming that is the community you're talking about.

When you first arrived, you'll be greeted by Sr. Aleydis, the Vocations Directress. She'll take you to your room in the guest house. They have no externs, so don't let that shock you. During your visit, you'll be able to spend a lot of time in silent prayer, attend Holy Mass daily, and be able to listen to the sisters chant the Liturgy of the Hours in Latin. You'll meet with the Vocations Directress a few times in St. Joseph's Parlor. As Perpetualove said, they do not have full papal enclosure, so you will be separated in the parlor by a railing, rather than a grille. If you have the same meal server I did, meals will be given to you by the absolute cutest and sweetest nun you'll ever see! Don't worry about being hungry- they give you an incredible amount of food!

You may be expected to do some simple chores for the community, depending on how long your visit is. You will also be expected to clean up your room before you leave. (Also, there's a bunch of books in your guest room about Cistercian spirituality and the spiritual life, but you may still want to bring some of your own.) There's no air conditioning, so plan for that. Last summer my retreat was during the hottest week of July, and it was very very hot in the guest house, so plan on wearing modest, but light clothing.

The most important thing to remember, though, is don't worry at all about the protocol of your visit- just let yourself fall in Love with Jesus all over again! Their chapel is such an intimate setting. Just go and be in Love before the tabernacle.

I hope you have a nice visit! Even though I'm no longer discerning seriously with this community, they have a very dear place in my heart, and their recent burst of new vocations is such a beautiful thing to see. Enjoy your retreat and please PM me and let me know how it goes. If you can remember, please tell Sister that Kathleen says "hi."

Edited June 7, 2006 by ForHimAlone

[AlterDominicus]

Sister Aleydis is so awesome, her voice, I love her voice. I'll be staying there for a week.

[Deborah]

I have made two long vocation retreats with the Visitation Nuns in Tyringham, MA. They have papal enclosure, but also a special dispensation to allow retreatants (woman) to stay in the cloister with them. Priority is given to vocational discernment retreatants. Sister Alice Marie is the Novice Mistress at that Monastery, assisted by Sr Anne Marguerite. They are a wonderful group who I hope to join within the year. They also wear the traditional habit. I would suggest that, if interested, please visit their site at www.vistyr.org They also have Monasteries (1st Federation Cloistered) in Rockville, Maryland; Snellville, Georgia; Mobile, Alabama; Philadelphia, Pa; and Toledo, Ohio.

During my recent stay with them, I had the grace to participate in the Solemn Profession Ceremony of Sister Bernadette Therese and at the Mass of the Dead for Mother Marie Joan Kelly who died unexpectedly of a heart attack on Ascension Thursday.

[AlterDominicus]

[quote name='ForHimAlone' post='999448' date='Jun 7 2006, 06:22 AM']
I've been had a very close relationship with the Cistercian community in Wisconsin, and I'm assuming that is the community you're talking about.

When you first arrived, you'll be greeted by Sr. Aleydis, the Vocations Directress. She'll take you to your room in the guest house. They have no externs, so don't let that shock you. During your visit, you'll be able to spend a lot of time in silent prayer, attend Holy Mass daily, and be able to listen to the sisters chant the Liturgy of the Hours in Latin. You'll meet with the Vocations Directress a few times in St. Joseph's Parlor. As Perpetualove said, they do not have full papal enclosure, so you will be separated in the parlor by a railing, rather than a grille. If you have the same meal server I did, meals will be given to you by the absolute cutest and sweetest nun you'll ever see! Don't worry about being hungry- they give you an incredible amount of food!

You may be expected to do some simple chores for the community, depending on how long your visit is. You will also be expected to clean up your room before you leave. (Also, there's a bunch of books in your guest room about Cistercian spirituality and the spiritual life, but you may still want to bring some of your own.) There's no air conditioning, so plan for that. Last summer my retreat was during the hottest week of July, and it was very very hot in the guest house, so plan on wearing modest, but light clothing.

The most important thing to remember, though, is don't worry at all about the protocol of your visit- just let yourself fall in Love with Jesus all over again! Their chapel is such an intimate setting. Just go and be in Love before the tabernacle.

I hope you have a nice visit! Even though I'm no longer discerning seriously with this community, they have a very dear place in my heart, and their recent burst of new vocations is such a beautiful thing to see. Enjoy your retreat and please PM me and let me know how it goes. If you can remember, please tell Sister that Kathleen says "hi."
[/quote]

Did you have Sr. Roberta? And speaking of clothing, I hope nice t-shirts, and nice jeans are okie dokie, LOL. Cause thats all I have really, and shorts, but I dont think shorts would be very suitable. And also their community was in chapter and decided to shorten the length of the retreats, so mine has been cut off to 15th-19th of July instead of 15th-22nd.

[josefamaria]

I made a vocation retreat with the Visitation Order in Toledo, Ohio in 1998 and it was wonderful. The sisters will also allow you to make arrangements to make a retreat for other reasons. I have had a couple of friends who made a retreat there just to spiritually renew themselves as well as a friend who wanted to pray about her vocation to another order (Nashville Dominicans which she did end up entering). If you have a chance, they are a wonderful order to check out. I had also made a vocation retreat with the Little Sisters of the Poor in 1994 at their Motherhouse (USA) in Queens, NY. I thought this is the order that I would really want to enter but was surprised that by the end of my retreat I knew I was not being called there. They are a wonderful Order and do wonderful work with the elderly but it just didn't "feel" right. The first time I went to Toledo which was for a weekend retreat that 6 of us went to (we stayed the nights at a nearby Catholic campus) I remember getting out of the van and having this feeling come over me. I turned to one of my friends and told her that I felt like I was "home" and I never wanted to leave. She must have felt the same way as she is now Sr. Marquerite Marie there (lol). Anway, just keep your heart open to what our Lord wants. I have had to care for my parents (my father just passed away this past Jan) or I would have entered. I still hope to someday---please keep me in your prayers.