Does anyone else have the problem of having their vocation being

[MissScripture]

I have been getting frustrated lately, because people keep telling me what I am going to do with my life. According to them (this includes several friends, teachers, and relatives) I am going to become a nun, no question about it. I do not feel called to be a nun. I have seriously considered it and revisited that path several times, but it seems that God is telling me that it is not for me. But these people still say that I am going to be a nun. My friends crack jokes frequently about "the nun" and on the one hand it's sort of a compliment, but at the same time it's really frustrating. I have made it clear that I do not appreciate these jokes or these comments, but people just say, "Oh, when you become a nun, then we'll talk about it." (yes, I have seriously gotten that response.) Or another time, I told a teacher who had informed me that I would be a nun, that I thought I was going to get married and have a family. She looked at me and said, "Yeah, well you need a boyfriend, first!" And honestly, I think that becoming a nun because you didn't have a boyfriend is about the lamest reason imaginable if that's the only reason you become a nun. I just don't know how to respond anymore, because I've tried to tell them that I don't think that I am called to that, but it's like beating my head against a brick wall! Yeah...like that. Does anyone else have this problem?

Edited May 10, 2006 by MissScripture

[Gemma]

Sometimes other people see things we don't.

I saw a now cloistered nuns' calling to the cloister when she was still trying to tell God she was going to be a teaching sister.

Revulsion toward the vocation doesn't necessarily mean that we don't have that particular calling.

I absolutely HATED the idea of getting married and having kids. But when I went through a transitional period of my life, I realized that, more than likely, becoming a nun may not be for me--or at least at that time in my life.

I set about praying to St. Raphael the Archangel, that if there was a man for me out there--really and truly, and he was CATHOLIC--to please bring us together. And he did. Hubby and I met at Stations during Lent.

Your friends are not deciding your vocation for you. Offer up the annoyance for those who are annoyed with the vocation that they truly do have, but are struggling with accepting or living with.

The days of forcing women into the convent for whatever reason is over. If worse comes to worse, just tell these people, "LAY OFF!!!"

Blessings,
Gemma

[magnificat]

I personally haven't had that problem, but if you are sure that God is calling you to be married or single, then just ignore them and ask them to bug off (nicely, of course! ). If you're called to marriage, God has the perfect spouse for you in mind, which he'll reveal to you in his time. It's easy to become impatient and want to meet Mr. Right now, but I think that sometimes God makes us wait so that you and your future spouse can mature & grow independently and be made ready for each other.
Prayers for you

[uruviel]

Yeah I personally haven't had this problum, I can't really relate but I see your frusteration. That would drive me crazy. Just try to have patience with them, tell them when they say something like that that you don't feel called, they may keep saying them, but just keep saying to yourself what you think God wants, it's not 100% nessacary to respond to their comments though I know it's hard to ignore your friends and family. Try to have patience, and pray for them. Some of these people could be very mistaken, there's no need to try to point it out either, just tell them a couple times so their informed what you want and persue it. I know there's no way it's as simple as that and it's also easier said than done, but I will pray for you. God Bless you,
-Lori

[Andrea348]

it's not completely like your experience, but i have run into many people who think that just because you are a good Catholic, are very involved in your church, and genuinely LOVE their faith that they are going to be a nun or a priest. it drives me crazy. vocations are soooo misunderstood in this world.

[srmarymichael]

I didn't have that problem, but I feel for you.

Some people think that just because you like to pray and go to Church (assuming you do and that's why they say what they say), they automatically think you'll be a Sister. Wrong! The truth is that all people should love to pray, and many of those people that God has called to a close relationship with Him, are going to be married and be holy wives and mothers! Yea!

Our world is in desperate need of this!

Maybe you could respond with the reality that you just like to pray. We need holy wives and moms just as much as we need holy Sisters.... Does that help any?

Mostly, just try to be yourself and try not to let them bother you.....

[Norseman82]

Yeah, I've run into it when I express my goal to be married and have a good family life and get flack from people. And considering that I have no immediate family of my own and the only way to have one is to get married and have children it hits me even harder.

If people say that your state in life is predetermined before birth, remind them that CCC 2230 states that people have a right and duty to choose their profession and state of life and that parents are not to exert undue pressure.

If you have already discerned, simply tell them you've done your discernment. If they persist, this constitutes harassment, simply tell them to butt out and mind their own business and get off your case (unless they are ordained clergy).

[MissScripture]

[quote name='srmarymichael' post='977356' date='May 10 2006, 09:06 AM']
I didn't have that problem, but I feel for you.

Some people think that just because you like to pray and go to Church (assuming you do and that's why they say what they say), they automatically think you'll be a Sister. Wrong! The truth is that all people should love to pray, and many of those people that God has called to a close relationship with Him, are going to be married and be holy wives and mothers! Yea!

Our world is in desperate need of this!

Maybe you could respond with the reality that you just like to pray. We need holy wives and moms just as much as we need holy Sisters.... Does that help any?

Mostly, just try to be yourself and try not to let them bother you.....
[/quote]
I told someone once that I was going to be a mother and raise lots of good little Catholic babies...she just looked at me like I was insane. But at least with her, she isn't Catholic and legitimately doesn't understand vocations.

[quote name='Norseman82' post='977519' date='May 10 2006, 11:09 AM']
Yeah, I've run into it when I express my goal to be married and have a good family life and get flack from people. And considering that I have no immediate family of my own and the only way to have one is to get married and have children it hits me even harder.

If people say that your state in life is predetermined before birth, remind them that CCC 2230 states that people have a right and duty to choose their profession and state of life and that parents are not to exert undue pressure.

If you have already discerned, simply tell them you've done your discernment. If they persist, this constitutes harassment, simply tell them to butt out and mind their own business and get off your case (unless they are ordained clergy).
[/quote]
Actually...ordained clergy is the one group that hasn't told me I ought to become a nun...or even suggested it...hmmm...

[Sixtina87]

if being a nun or sister doesn't interests you but you like the idea in some way, what about being a secular religious??? not to put you on that spot or anything its always an option!!!

Edited May 14, 2006 by Sixtina87

[Gemma]

[quote name='Sixtina87' post='980781' date='May 13 2006, 11:21 PM']
if being a nun or sister doesn't interests you but you like the idea in some way, what about being a secular religious??? not to put you on that spot or anything its always an option!!!
[/quote]

And then there's always Third Orders--I'm a Lay Passionist, myself.

Blessings,
Gemma

[MC IMaGiNaZUN]

I used to be bothered by girls not wanting to date because i wanted to be a priest.

Now i am living in a religious community.

Although, i dont mean to discourage your thinking. If you are at peace with God's will in your life, it would not bother you that people dont understand what your call is. It would not frustrate you, knowing that you are being true to God and who he created you to be by not being a nun.

But since it bothers you it is an indication of how much you need to grow in your primary calling as a disciple in faithfulness to our Lord in everything. You need to be renewed in Christ once more to be holy in that which he calls you to. And be at peace in the confidence and courage of doing His will as his grace allows you.

SHALOM