Some Advice?

[MrsFrozen]

Hello. I would appreciate advice anyone can offer about something that is troubling me. I live next door to a woman with whom I don't really get along. I am polite to her, but there are aspects of her personality that just plain clash with mine, and so I generally avoid her. She's in her mid-thirties, but acts much younger than me (I'm in my mid-twenties). In addition, I have caught her in several lies. She is married to a Lutheran and they have a small boy. This is where the problem comes in. One day, I was visiting with them when I brought up the topic of religion. She piped up that she was converting to Judaism. I asked her what religion she was raised with, and she said she wasn't raised with anything. She isn't a very credible person, and I have a feeling that this isn't the truth. She comes from a conservative military family and was raised in Oklahoma. She said she looked back in her family tree and saw that some of the people were Jewish. I don't believe she is ignorant to Jesus. In addition, they are planning to raise their boy with both Jewish and Lutheran religions. This is often on my mind, and I don't know if it would be right of me to just sit idly by and not evangelize to them about this. What do you think? I don't want to seem nosy, like I am poking into something that's none of my concern, but I just have the terrible feeling that she's doing this for all the wrong reasons. I don't want to attack her or anything, but I am just not sure what to do. I would love some advice! Thank you!

:)

[Theoketos]

Follow what St. Francis Said, "Always preach the Gospel, seldomly using words."

In addition, pray earnstly for them, starting right now!

[MrsFrozen]

Follow what St. Francis Said, "Always preach the Gospel, seldomly using words."

Thank you so much for your reply! I am praying for them. How do you preach the Gospel without using words?

[cmotherofpirl]

Be a faithful loving catholic. God will do the rest.

[phatcatholic]

mrs. frozen,

there are many suttle ways that you can give advice to a person or even evangelize to them w/o being so direct that your intentions are revealed. one thing i like to do is ask "leading questions." these are questions geared towards having the person think about a particular topic or admit something that they would not otherwise if you just directly asked them to.

i know this may sound sly and dishonest, but i consider it diplomatic. plus, your intentions are good. a few questions you could ask include the following:

1. why are you considering Judaism?

--she could say, "well i found some people in my family tree who were jews."

--in which case, u could reply w/ "are there any other reasons?"

--make sure you use qualifying statements, like "i'm just curious. i don't know very much about Judaism" -or- "i like learning about othe religions."

2. what religion are you planning on raising your child into?

--if she says, "judaism and lutheran" you could give her advice in the form of "something u read the other day." for example, "i think i read somewhere that raising a child in two religions can be confusing for them at times. what do u think about this?"

--notice the qualifying words, which are helpful as well. "i think", "can be", "at times" and other words like "may", "possibly" or "kinda" all show her that you are allowing for you to be incorrect, instead of stating emphatically something that could turn her away.

3. finally, if you can relate w/ her at all regarding a soul-searching experience, or a search for religion, let her know that.

--u could say something like "i know how confusing it can be to consider other religions. if you would like, i could share w/ you my experiences."

--this needs to have the aura of altruism--you are offering this to her b/c you truly want to help and b/c you care about her and her family.

--if she accepts, then this would be the prime opportunity to talk to her about your faith journey and explain to her why you came to accept catholicism.

4. finally, you could say something like, "you know, judaism and lutheranism are alot like my religion, catholicism. if you would ever like to know more about my church, i would be more then happy to share it w/ you sometime."

--give her your email address and tell her she can email u w/ any questions she has.

--this will help relieve any of the aggravation you feel when u talk to her in person.

--however, u would also need to be willing to evanglize to her in person if the situation ever arises.

i think these techniques will be helpful. remember, the most important thing is to use qualifying words and statements. this is called the "one-down" technique, and it is very helpful in "sticky" situations. make sure you keep us posted on ur progress.

pax christi,

phatcatholic

[MrsFrozen]

Thank you so much for your quick replies and great advice! I will definitely keep you posted on my progress. I hope to see her tomorrow and then I can easily bring up something interesting my priest says in his homily or something and let it flow from there.

It's so nice to know that there are always people to help me out with these situations. Thank you very much. :D

[TABBY]

Hello. I would appreciate advice anyone can offer about something that is troubling me. I live next door to a woman with whom I don't really get along. I am polite to her, but there are aspects of her personality that just plain clash with mine, and so I generally avoid her. She's in her mid-thirties, but acts much younger than me (I'm in my mid-twenties). In addition, I have caught her in several lies. She is married to a Lutheran and they have a small boy. This is where the problem comes in. One day, I was visiting with them when I brought up the topic of religion. She piped up that she was converting to Judaism. I asked her what religion she was raised with, and she said she wasn't raised with anything. She isn't a very credible person, and I have a feeling that this isn't the truth. She comes from a conservative military family and was raised in Oklahoma. She said she looked back in her family tree and saw that some of the people were Jewish. I don't believe she is ignorant to Jesus. In addition, they are planning to raise their boy with both Jewish and Lutheran religions. This is often on my mind, and I don't know if it would be right of me to just sit idly by and not evangelize to them about this. What do you think? I don't want to seem nosy, like I am poking into something that's none of my concern, but I just have the terrible feeling that she's doing this for all the wrong reasons. I don't want to attack her or anything, but I am just not sure what to do. I would love some advice! Thank you!

Well what do you mean exactly that she acts younger than you? are you speaking emotionally (if yes then talk to her delicatly...she may percieve something that you are NOT intending)?...or is she a partier and just acts young?

I love St. Francis....do what he suggests...

Here is something you may want to bring to her attention about the Jews converting to Christianity?