Holding Hands

[toledo_jesus]

[quote name='DeeDee' date='Sep 14 2005, 12:22 PM']I don't hold hands any time during the mass. You never know where someone's hand has been.
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For real. That's just one reason.

I get annoyed by overly sappy expressions on people's faces. Like, save the feelings for an actual circumstance, you phoney! Keep your hands to yourself, and spare me the look that says "I love the community, I love you, let's all be friends for a minute while we say a prayer." It's disingenuous.

I used to use the hand holding as an excuse to do that grind the handbones thing on my brother.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jan 10 2004, 12:15 PM']I hold on to the pew.
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hehe me too :

except in the choir loft when theres nothing to hang on to and then i distance myself from everyone and never make eye contact.

one time though this lady up there decided i NEEDED to be a part of the hand holding and came over and grabbed me and literally turned my back to the choir director during the singing of the our father. i was also sideways to the altar!

i just didnt know what to do!

[cmotherofpirl]

This happens to me in the choir loft as well. I get REALLY annoyed when someone grabs me, my first response is to slug them and ask questions later. Fortunately I usually get to my second response quickly - I glare.

[Proud2BCatholic139]

I was never formally accustomed to this ritual.

However, I do not like it because to me it is more of a protestant ritual.

I don't know...

[White Knight]

ummm.

[hooverbloob]

I decided to do some research on this and found a really good article on why we hold hands during the Our Father. It doesn't appear to be "protestant" in nature but more of a unity to family.

find the article here: [url="http://www.uscatholic.org/2004/01/gya0401.htm"]http://www.uscatholic.org/2004/01/gya0401.htm[/url]


Why do we hold hands
during the Our Father?

by David Philippart

Asking how the practice of holding hands at the Lord’s Prayer began is like asking who invented kissing. We may never know for sure, but it’s easy to guess. Some families and households hold hands to say grace before meals. Maybe this practice migrated to church, as the Our Father is the final “grace” that we say before sharing in the Lord’s Supper.

Members of prayer groups often instinctively join hands when praying together this most basic of all of our prayers. In many parishes, the gesture began—and continues to be—spontaneous. People simply do it, without prompting. In other parishes, the priest asks people to join hands.

What does it mean to hold hands and pray the prayer that Jesus taught us? The prayer itself seems to suggest this gesture: We do not pray “my Father,” but “our Father,” and that makes us all sisters and brothers, united in our common Baptism, adopted children of God.

In technologically advanced and wealthy cultures, the bonds of community are often strained. Whereas in some places—or even in our own country 50 years ago or so—you might be born, live, and die all in the same village surrounded by the same people, today we move about, live far from extended family members and close friends, and communicate electronically rather than in the flesh. We sometimes yearn to feel more connected to the people around us, especially our sisters and brothers in Christ and particularly at this moment of supreme intimacy with God and with each other that is the Eucharist.

But precisely because hand-holding denotes a specific kind of intimacy in our culture—romantic love, or the love of parent and child, for example—some people feel uncomfortable holding hands at Mass. It’s best to respect this. Yet if it is parish custom, those who balk may need to ask themselves, “Does it really hurt me to grasp hands for a few minutes?”

Every parish has a personality, just like every family or household does. Some families or households are very physical in expressing affection: lots of touching, hugging, kissing. Others are more reserved physically: Love is expressed in words and deeds but maybe not very often in hugs and kisses. There’s no right or wrong here. What’s essential is that we pray the words of Jesus’ with sincerity and love.

[toledo_jesus]

[quote name='hooverbloob' date='Sep 22 2005, 03:57 PM']
by David Philippart

    Asking how the practice of holding hands at the Lord’s Prayer began is like asking who invented kissing. We may never know for sure, but it’s easy to guess. Some families and households hold hands to say grace before meals. Maybe this practice migrated to church, as the Our Father is the final “grace” that we say before sharing in the Lord’s Supper.

    Members of prayer groups often instinctively join hands when praying together this most basic of all of our prayers. In many parishes, the gesture began—and continues to be—spontaneous. People simply do it, without prompting. In other parishes, the priest asks people to join hands.

    What does it mean to hold hands and pray the prayer that Jesus taught us? The prayer itself seems to suggest this gesture: We do not pray “my Father,” but “our Father,” and that makes us all sisters and brothers, united in our common Baptism, adopted children of God.

    In technologically advanced and wealthy cultures, the bonds of community are often strained. Whereas in some places—or even in our own country 50 years ago or so—you might be born, live, and die all in the same village surrounded by the same people, today we move about, live far from extended family members and close friends, and communicate electronically rather than in the flesh. We sometimes yearn to feel more connected to the people around us, especially our sisters and brothers in Christ and particularly at this moment of supreme intimacy with God and with each other that is the Eucharist.

    But precisely because hand-holding denotes a specific kind of intimacy in our culture—romantic love, or the love of parent and child, for example—some people feel uncomfortable holding hands at Mass. It’s best to respect this. Yet if it is parish custom, those who balk may need to ask themselves, “Does it really hurt me to grasp hands for a few minutes?”

    Every parish has a personality, just like every family or household does. Some families or households are very physical in expressing affection: lots of touching, hugging, kissing. Others are more reserved physically: Love is expressed in words and deeds but maybe not very often in hugs and kisses. [b]There’s no right or wrong here.[/b] What’s essential is that we pray the words of Jesus’ with sincerity and love.
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bullflop. hand holding should not be encouraged.

[Noel's angel]

we don't need to hold hands to be united. The fact that we are all gathered together in one place, celebrating the Mass is evidence enough of us being united.

[popestpiusx]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Sep 19 2005, 12:55 PM']This happens to me in the choir loft as well. I get REALLY annoyed when someone grabs me, my first response is to slug them and ask questions later. Fortunately I usually get to my second response quickly - I glare.
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Slug em!!!
Slug em!!!

[CatholicAndFanatical]

Ok, I didnt read all the pages here but will point out that I am against holding of hands during the Our Father.

For one, its so protestant-esqe. They [b]have[/b] to do it for unity, because they have no other way to be connected to each other.

Catholics are connected in the Eucharist, we dont need to hold hands..in fact I think its telling God that being connected in His Body is not enough we must do more. Hogwash!

It saddens me that some of our Churchs are being influenced by protestant churchs rather than the other way around.

[Luthien]

[quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Sep 14 2005, 11:41 AM']For real.  That's just one reason. 

I get annoyed by overly sappy expressions on people's faces.  Like, save the feelings for an actual circumstance, you phoney!  Keep your hands to yourself, and spare me the look that says "I love the community, I love you, let's all be friends for a minute while we say a prayer."  It's disingenuous.

I used to use the hand holding as an excuse to do that grind the handbones thing on my brother.
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[heavenseeker]

I love it! Something just doesn't feel right otherwise.

[MissScripture]

I sometimes hold hands, if it's with my family, although I'd generally prefer not to. I generally avoid eye contact with anyone if I don't want to hold hands and sort of weave my fingers together, so they'd have to rip my hands apart to grab them. Another good deterrent is obviously coughing into your hands right before the Our Father...although even that isn't fool proof and then you probably really shouldn't touch anything until after Mass when you can wash your hands. Although at my parish during flu season, we're usually told to pretty much avoid touching eachother at all.

[dairygirl4u2c]

I haven't seen any reasons not to hold hands other than because it seems weird to you. If it's a way to do unity, the Church should say all should do it, generally. If the Church doesn't say, then if the predominant theme is not to, then don't. If the predominent them is to, then do. If the predominant theme is up in the air, the thing to do I would think for unity's sake, even though you don't need it for unity's sake, is to pressure people into doing it. I see no reasons generally not to do it.

I'm not surprised that most here aren't into it while a good number are. From my experience I equate the extreme catholics traditionals with not holding hands, slash republicans, slash all that. Of course there are exceptions, and those who are republican who like to hold hand etc are probably great people who I would probably include myself in.

I admit it's sorta awkward and mushy and all that and when I go to C Churches it's weird, but you know what, it's good for me and all you other hard hats.

Edited August 3, 2006 by dairygirl4u2c

[Franimus]

I personally generally don't feel extremely comfortable doing it, and pretty much only hold hands with my grandma or someone who goes out of their way to offer or at a parish where everybody holds. But I don't really mind it. As far as debate goes, I think this thread is rather stagnant, since we have the people who say it's unitive (and that expressing unity in the OUR Father does NOT take away from the unity expressed in the Eucharist, but might even add something to it sometimes), and we have people who say it's oppressive, which I admit my sister is sometimes. *cough* I mean, I admit some people do go too far by forcing people to hold hands.
Anecdotally, or however you spell it, I think it was a beautiful thing when at our last during-school Mass (or was it the graduation Mass?) my entire eigth grade class held hands. I see no reason to suppress this gesture, but see no reason to actively encourage it either. So I think it's good how it is now like that; it's that whole cultural thing.