Holding Hands

[Apotheoun]

Χριστός ἀνέστη! Ἀληθῶς ἀνέστη!

[Autumn Dusk]

1) I hate touching strangers, period. Just because I'm in church I don't feel any more "united" or "loving" so much that I want to hold their hands.

2) I am prone to illness.

3) No one should dare tell me that I'm to join into some massive feel-good act just becuase the priest likes it.

That being said:
I will hold hands with people at my parent's church becuase its DEEPLY embedded in their culture. They are a rural people who, becuase of physical separation, almost never get the chance to pray together. They see it as part of their church identity, as part of their ethic identity (quite often) and part of truly worshiping God.(seeing Him in other people). And while I hate it I've had to humble myself because that is how they are, I have to be humble towards the mental old lady who tries to whack me with things, humble towards the fat makeup sales-lady who seems to have no conscience and told me that I was ugly and shouldn't ever go out without makeup and my mom and other friends horrible things, humble towards the handicapped man who incessantly hits on me. Every time I go I end up with one if not two, of these people, three if the old lady doesn't have both hands occupied.
Is it always about the consecrated Eucharist sitting on the alter? perhaps not always. Is it about the WORD that we are supposed to live thats being fortified by the Eucharist. Absolutely.

[Slappo]

I changed from holding hands at mass to not holding hands. The mass I go to at home is pretty much the same people too. To avoid odd and questioning looks... I bow my head a little, fold my hands (and thumbs!), and close my eyes. No option to grab my hand or anything. Since I'm not looking at the other people I don't see their reaction and am not distracted either.

I give a big smile at the sign of peace and shake their hand/hug them.


PS: If I happen to have a crush on the girl I'm standing next to... Well then I... well you know... STILL DON'T HOLD HANDS!

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Autumn Dusk' post='1482851' date='Mar 23 2008, 08:39 PM']I have to be humble towards the mental old lady who tries to whack me with things[/quote]

lol. humility.. there's so many things i wish i could do.. but i know everyone is not like me..

[quote name='Slappo' post='1482896' date='Mar 23 2008, 09:45 PM']Since I'm not looking at the other people I don't see their reaction and am not distracted either.[/quote]

i dunno, i think i can feel their negativity before and after..

[quote name='Slappo' post='1482896' date='Mar 23 2008, 09:45 PM']PS: If I happen to have a crush on the girl I'm standing next to... Well then I... well you know... STILL DON'T HOLD HANDS! [/quote]

ya that's tough. out of modesty, i have to control myself and offer the hands. then of course Father plays a joke on me and sometimes SHE goes right in for the hug! it's like cat and mouse - yes, no, yes no. yes? oh no. no? oh yes! arghh

[cmotherofpirl]

I do not hold hands, and will not hold hands. I actually quit choir because I got tired of being made fun off for not holding hands.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1482896' date='Mar 23 2008, 11:45 PM']I changed from holding hands at mass to not holding hands. The mass I go to at home is pretty much the same people too. To avoid odd and questioning looks... I bow my head a little, fold my hands (and thumbs!), and close my eyes. No option to grab my hand or anything. Since I'm not looking at the other people I don't see their reaction and am not distracted either.

I give a big smile at the sign of peace and shake their hand/hug them.


PS: If I happen to have a crush on the girl I'm standing next to... Well then I... well you know... STILL DON'T HOLD HANDS! [/quote]
You know, this holding hands thing is becoming a distraction if they have to look around to make sure you're holding hands...

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1483001' date='Mar 24 2008, 10:53 AM']I do not hold hands, and will not hold hands. I actually quit choir because I got tired of being made fun off for not holding hands.[/quote]
Like I said, distraction. Too bad to hear you had to do that Cmom

[Guest Kayla]

I won't do it during Mass. Everywhere I've been it's about half/half that do/don't. It's not part of the rubrics, and I find it distracting. So, I don't do it. Outside of Mass is a different story. It's still awkward for me, but I'll do it.

[Guest trying2flywith5]

I am a recent convert and have never been touchy-feely when attending any church. I raise my hands in front of myself. If I am standing near people I do not know, no one has reached out for me. I do have some friends and aquaintances that if they are next to me I might hold hands if they need to. I usually do not even hold hands with my children. I am leaving it up to them.

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' post='1483808' date='Mar 25 2008, 12:42 PM']You know, this holding hands thing is becoming a distraction if they have to look around to make sure you're holding hands...
Like I said, distraction. Too bad to hear you had to do that Cmom [/quote]

let's make an effort to look around at the people who are holding hands. look right at their hands when you fold yours, and make the same disgruntled look they make at us for not holding hands. it'll catch on eventually..

[Noel's angel]

If someone next to you tries to hold hands, poke them in the eye. Works for me.

[Knight of the Holy Rosary]

[quote name='trying2flywith5' post='1484190' date='Mar 25 2008, 07:18 PM']I am a recent convert and have never been touchy-feely when attending any church. I raise my hands in front of myself. If I am standing near people I do not know, no one has reached out for me. I do have some friends and aquaintances that if they are next to me I might hold hands if they need to. I usually do not even hold hands with my children. I am leaving it up to them.[/quote]


Welcome to phatmass...and home to the Church!

[HeavenlyCalling]

When I am alone in Church, or with one or two friends, I dont. My mom makes me hold hands when we are all to together. Its very cute. ish. lol

The sign of peace, I hug the person to my left and to my right ( when it is a family/friends combo ) and smile and nod to everyone else. I used to shake hands with everyone I could, but leaning over pews and people got old fast

[picchick]

I'll just add my two cents since I voted:
I don't know if it is good or bad. For me personally, I am there for God. At Mass it is kinda like a dinner date with God and me. Sometimes it's a dinner with Him, my family or a friend and I. That is really dumbing down the greatness of the Mass but that is kinda the way I look at it.


Meg

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1485012' date='Mar 26 2008, 04:57 PM']If someone next to you tries to hold hands, poke them in the eye. Works for me.[/quote]

or slap it and say, "right on!" or slap it then make a thumbs-up, lean it to the right as you lean your head to the right and say, "pshh!"

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='picchick' post='1485501' date='Mar 26 2008, 09:47 PM']I'll just add my two cents since I voted:
I don't know if it is good or bad. For me personally, I am there for God. At Mass it is kinda like a dinner date with God and me. Sometimes it's a dinner with Him, my family or a friend and I. That is really dumbing down the greatness of the Mass but that is kinda the way I look at it.
Meg[/quote]

that reminds me, i was talking with a friend the other day, and we talked about how when you really love something, you start to pay attention to little things, and insist that it be perfect.

e.g., if you love football, you know about each of the rules, you want the players to play by the rules to the letter, you want them to dress correctly down to the cleat, you love the game and want it done right. do you do the wave when the other team scores? no. there is a time, place, and a reason for it. the people who scoff at all this don't know the reasons, or think they know but haven't really taken the time to learn.

if you love ballet, you know the music, when it should play and stop, the movements, how she should dress, what is appropriate, etc. do you clap during the solo? no, there is a time, place, and a reason for it. the people who scoff at all this don't know the reasons, or think they know but haven't really taken the time to learn.

some might call people like this "fanatical". i find that being fanatically in love with God and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass acceptable over all other worldly things. if you want to learn why, you can look in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM), read articles explaining why, or go in-depth into Scripture, Tradition, and the origins of the Mass and figure out why yourself. most people are not willing to do this, that is why we have the Church to tell us these things.