Spiritual direction

[gelibeme]

Guys I've been praying to God to find a spiritual director. What advice do you all have on seeking out direction? I want to seek out if I have a religious vocation and to have someone to talk openly on spiritual concerns.

Angelica

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='gelibeme' date='Apr 18 2006, 02:58 PM']Guys I've been praying to God to find a spiritual director.  What advice do you all have on seeking out direction?  I want to seek out if I have a religious vocation and to have someone to talk openly on spiritual concerns.

Angelica
[right][snapback]952652[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]

Do you know any religious that you trust? Ask them. Otherwise, try contacting your Diocese and asking for a list and start calling! Don't be afraid if you meet with one and it deosn't work out. It's ok to change the spiritual director if you feel it is not a right fit.

Or you can ask you Parish Priest if you are active in your parish, he may know someone that may fit you.

Good luck and I will pray that Holy Spirit guides you!
Lauren

[gelibeme]

[quote]Do you know any religious that you trust? [/quote]
I don't know any religious personally, except for my great aunt who lives in Mexico.

So your saying to ask my parish priest about it?

I'm a scared Okay I know I shouldn't be.

What qualities should I look for in a director? Ovbiously holiness and orthodoxy. What else?
Angelica

[magnificat]

I'm cracking up over the Big Bird image next to the being scared part...haha. But I can understand your feelings!

I'd say go to some different churches and listen to the homilies and if one seems to click, then go talk to him. Usually even if they don't do SD, they'll know people with a similar orthodoxy level (for lack of a better term!) who do SD.

I'd say that the important thing is that they are interested in helping you discover God's desire for you and not push anything on you (like a personal agenda or anything). And trust your instinct. You don't have to be best friends or anything, but you have to feel comfortable enough to talk to them openly about very personal stuff.

Just my two cents...

Edited April 18, 2006 by magnificat

[gelibeme]

Oh I definatelty know that my parish priest is a good faithful and holy priest. God has blessed us greatly at St. Augusting with Father John. He approached me two years ago and asked me if I had considered the religious life, told me he'd prayed for me and gave me a VISIONS magazine. I haven't talked to him about it again since.

Honestly, I am scared.

I have trouble enough going to confession, it's intimidating to think on asking him to be my director. Also, he's the only priest in a rural town and I know he is very busy all the time.

Maybe it's just my own pride making me scared?

I just know that I should find a director to help me discern the religious life, If I am called to it.

I'm still learning from Laurentina1975 what the role of spirtual director is.
Angelica

[Fides_et_Ratio]

St. Teresa of Avila says if faced with the choice between a holy priest or an intelligent priest, to choose the intelligent one.

Just make sure that the priest you seek for direction is knowledgable enough to direct you in spiritual matters and vocational discernment. Ideally, you want a priest who's intelligent AND holy.

[shortnun]

[quote name='gelibeme' post='952652' date='Apr 18 2006, 02:58 PM']
Guys I've been praying to God to find a spiritual director. What advice do you all have on seeking out direction? I want to seek out if I have a religious vocation and to have someone to talk openly on spiritual concerns.

Angelica
[/quote]
Angelica, I'm going to out on a limb here... is there a lay person you could ask about help with spiritual direction? I say this in light of your comment about it being difficult to go to a priest just for confession, let alone spiritual direction. Likewise though, you would want someone who is experienced enough to understand your inclination (of course planted in your heart by God) toward religious life.

click, clink <------- my two cents.

Many prayers--both for you and for your future spiritual director.

Edited April 19, 2006 by shortnun

[the_rev]

I'm in the process of swithching parishes and have asked the monsignor of the parish I'm switching to to become my spiritual director.

[Mercy me]

I too am in search of a new spiritual director. It was very difficult for me. But what I did was to simply make an appointment to talk to Father to seek his guidance. Really that is all you are doing the first time you meet. After that, if it goes well then you might ask him to become your spiritual director. You must be comfortable enough to be able to speak openly and you must be able to trust him completely. Your SD will most likely ask you to do things that are not so easy to help you to grow spiritually. You must be able to trust him. I agree with what Magnificat said, trust your instincts. And most importantly, you must pray - ask for help - it always comes. I will pray for you. Please pray for me that I find a new SD too.

[salveregina]

Okay, I just switched spiritual directors after three years. It just wasn't working for me. Sooo from my experience:
1. You want someone who you feel you are connecting with (that was a problem with me...whenever I felt that something was big and wanted to talk about it, he was kind of blah about it, and made it sound petty...without realizing. He's a great priest, and if he knew that I felt that way, he'd probably be broken-hearted. Sooo, it's not necessarily the holiness or orthodoxy of the priest, but the fact that you can truly talk about what's important.
2. You have to be able to be honest with him. If you look up to him too much and are not able to be honest, that's not a good match. And if you are too shy to mention to him things that aren't working (like I mentioned above), that's not good either.
3. Orthodoxy is absolutely important. There's no use in sharing your heart's desire with someone who cannot understand it because their reason is clouded.

Okay, that's all I have to offer. The new spiritual director I have found offered to me that he would be my spiritual director if I wanted. I was sharing with him that I have felt like my past spiritual director and I were not on the same wavelength, and he said that that was a nonproductive spiritual direction, and he asked me what I wanted from spiritual direction. When I told him what my heart's desire was, he offered that he could be my spiritual director, but made me pray about it first. That's sign #1 he's quality. And that's my advice to you. Pray about it. God will reveal who it should be!

You also don't want your spiritual director to be like St. Catherine of Siena's, who used to fall asleep! She would have to ask him if she was talking to him or to the wall! Ha!

[gelibeme]

[/quote]1. You want someone who you feel you are connecting with (that was a problem with me...whenever I felt that something was big and wanted to talk about it, he was kind of blah about it, and made it sound petty...without realizing. He's a great priest, and if he knew that I felt that way, he'd probably be broken-hearted. Sooo, it's not necessarily the holiness or orthodoxy of the priest, but the fact that you can truly talk about what's important.
2. You have to be able to be honest with him. If you look up to him too much and are not able to be honest, that's not a good match. And if you are too shy to mention to him things that aren't working (like I mentioned above), that's not good either.
3. Orthodoxy is absolutely important. There's no use in sharing your heart's desire with someone who cannot understand it because their reason is clouded.
[quote]

See that's the thing with my parish priest, it'd be like taliking to my dad about my heart's desires. I love my dad and priest, respect them and know they are wise and holy people, but I know I might just start crying or feel too nervous to open up. My first year of college I was able to be at a Catholic University, but had to move back home because of finances in part, and I had a spiritual director, but I knew that we never connected. I felt that she didn't understand what I was trying to tell her and it was hard to be open with her, I felt a wall. Don't get me wrong, she is a great nun, but like you said it wasn't a "good match."

I have a feeling that I might talk to our youth group leader about this. I know he sees Father for spiritual direction, I'm gonna ask him his advice. The person I have in mind who I know I can talk to openly and who is a good and holy man is a layperson who might not know much about spiritual direction or how to lead a search for a vocation to the religious life.

I'm a prayin
Angelica

[Domine ut Videam]

Check out this awesome link and website it will help you find a good orthodox spiritual director in you area:
the website is run by the legionaries of Christ and the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi.

[url="http://www.vocation.com/contactus.asp?occasion=spirdir"]vocation.com[/url]

hope it helps. :

-Yours in Christ
Lauren

[MC IMaGiNaZUN]

Your spiritual director should be objective.

One of the Augustinians in our order, would have been a prime pick, except that he is one of us, and i know he has a particular bias toward my vocation. I would not hesitate to go to him for occasional advice or prayers, but i feel that our relationship should not be objective, i feel we can get out more if we are not. So i don't go, even though i am sure he would be good, to him for spiritual direction.

It should probably be somebody, who is objective. Chances are they will have your best interests in mind.

If it is a priest, try and get a good idea of their views, by listening to a couple of homilies. He would have to share at least in some of the general ideals and views of the church, like on the Eucharist, celibacy, and that kind of stuff. You don't want to be led astray.

And it also helps to change spiritual directors when your life changes, like when you move into the order. (if that is the case).

SHALOM

[OLAM Dad]

Angelica, you've gotten great advice from Lauren and everybody else. Nothing I can add but to say this...

I LOVE your name!!!!!!!!!!

[philothea]

[quote name='magnificat' post='952715' date='Apr 18 2006, 02:27 PM']
I'd say go to some different churches and listen to the homilies and if one seems to click, then go talk to him. Usually even if they don't do SD, they'll know people with a similar orthodoxy level (for lack of a better term!) who do SD.
[/quote]
Hee hee. "Orthodoxy level" I love it. The bishop should have a standardized test and issue a rating on all the diocesan priests.

Angelica, if it's possible, trying out potiential SDs by confession can be good too. The fact that it [i]is[/i] nervewracking for you might make it a good test...