Children in Mass

[StColette]

We sit in the main body of the Church with the little man. He loves looking at the stained glass windows and the people. He is very good during Mass, unless he's teething lol (but I can't blame him for that one) We usually have a book for him to play with. We would just give him the hymnal but he tries to rip out the pages lol. And we usually have a snuggly (tiny blankie about the size of a hankerchief that has an animal head (ie puppy) on it). We do sit towards the back, not because of him but because of me. We never know when my morning sickness will act up so it's less distracting for us to sit in the back just in case I have to get up and leave.

When I was growing up, we didn't bring toys or books, and we would ask questions quietly, but we knew better than to disrupt Mass. On the rare occasion that we did misbehave we were separate from one another by our parents (two parents between the two of us).

[Archaeology cat]

I finally saw a cry room that still allowed for the parents & kids in there to still really pay attention and see everything, when I was visiting in Oxford over the weekend. It was just to the side of the altar, with large windows, so they'd be able to see everything the priest was doing. I thought it was a good design. I mean, the cry room at my old parish had the glass so parents could see, but it as in the very back of the rather large sanctuary, and so I doubt they could see much.

[quote name='marielapin' post='1888534' date='Jun 11 2009, 08:15 PM']The ordination we went to last year was amazing, and Dominic is still talking about it. He even drew a picture of Fr. Rick and Bishop Baker, with his mitre and crozier and everything. I reminded him of the tabernacle and he remembered the big angels flanking it on either side and drew that in as well. He has already been asking when he can be an altar server. This formation would be lacking if I didn't bring him to Mass every week.[/quote]
Awww, Dominic!

[Vasilius Konstantinos]

AN Orthodox Bishop once told me ( as I have three girls, 7, 4 and 3, and another one due next month) that if he does not hear the sound of children crying or talking or pointing or playing, etc. etc. that is the signs of a dead church. Let your children inside the Divine Liturgy/Mass. Let them cry if they are babes. Let them sit and doodle away on the sheet, but not the books! Let them learn to appreciate the fullness of what God has given us through His Son. As much as the children may be active in a young age, trust me when they get older you wish they would be active in or during the Divine Liturgy/Mass.

[Patrick]

I find it interesting there's not even an option for what my family does.

We don't have pews, so much. The children stay within a radius around us, not being unruly, but just not as contained. Many Orthodox kids in a pewless or partially pewless church will be very comfortable walking over to their godparent to stand with them for a while, and then returning after a bit. I had a very difficult time telling which family all the children belonged to in the first Orthodox parish I visited! It's very organic and feels very natural, once you're acclimated.

Besides, how do you do full prostrations with pews? (But this is a topic of discussion even amongst Orthodox)

[pat22]

let im' run a muck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Angel*Star]

This past Sunday four adults (no children with them at all) were having a lively discussion. They sit in the second pew and this is not the first Sunday I have noticed this behavior. It is hard not to notice especially since we sit right behind them. Our small children have more respect and are quieter then these adults. This was before mass, but it is hard to pray when others are laughing and have such a lively discussion. I might suggest they go out for breakfast before coming to mass so they can discuss their week outside of mass.

My children, even my two year old, knows better mass manners than these adults. So, why would we even be having this discussion as to what to do with children during mass. They apparently can be a good example for the adults who don't know any better.

[inunionwithrome]

My sister and I also were seperated in between the two parents if we could not keep our hands to ourselves. I remind my Sunday School childrren especially if I am teaching an older grade, that they are to be examples to others. The children younger than them will imitate their behavior and act in a godly manner.

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1886234' date='Jun 8 2009, 08:53 AM']I didn't vote. You need the option, "[i]trying[/i] to have the children sit quietly in the pews so as to integrate them into the community and help others learn patience and charity."[/quote]
[quote name='Vasilius Konstantinos' post='1891439' date='Jun 15 2009, 02:09 PM']AN Orthodox Bishop once told me ( as I have three girls, 7, 4 and 3, and another one due next month) that if he does not hear the sound of children crying or talking or pointing or playing, etc. etc. that is the signs of a dead church. Let your children inside the Divine Liturgy/Mass. Let them cry if they are babes. Let them sit and doodle away on the sheet, but not the books! Let them learn to appreciate the fullness of what God has given us through His Son. As much as the children may be active in a young age, trust me when they get older you wish they would be active in or during the Divine Liturgy/Mass.[/quote]
This is what I alluded to. The Church is a community, indeed, a family, not a sterile operating environment. Children - who, it must be said, can be "inconvenient" at times - are part of that community, that family. On the one hand, we must teach them to be respectful and to participate appropriately in the Mass as and when they are able. On the other hand, we must learn tolerance, patience and charity, and "putting up with" others, especially children, is an ideal way to do that.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Angel*Star' post='1892440' date='Jun 16 2009, 01:00 AM']This past Sunday four adults (no children with them at all) were having a lively discussion. They sit in the second pew and this is not the first Sunday I have noticed this behavior. It is hard not to notice especially since we sit right behind them. Our small children have more respect and are quieter then these adults. This was before mass, but it is hard to pray when others are laughing and have such a lively discussion. I might suggest they go out for breakfast before coming to mass so they can discuss their week outside of mass.

My children, even my two year old, knows better mass manners than these adults. So, why would we even be having this discussion as to what to do with children during mass. They apparently can be a good example for the adults who don't know any better.[/quote]
my sentiments, EXACTLY!

[Patrick]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1895188' date='Jun 18 2009, 08:28 AM']This is what I alluded to. The Church is a community, indeed, a family, not a sterile operating environment. Children - who, it must be said, can be "inconvenient" at times - are part of that community, that family. On the one hand, we must teach them to be respectful and to participate appropriately in the Mass as and when they are able. On the other hand, we must learn tolerance, patience and charity, and "putting up with" others, especially children, is an ideal way to do that.[/quote]

Precisely. It's their church too.

Let me also offer -- when you hear a child crying in church, instead of being annoyed at the crying, remember in humility how much more so your own petitions must sound before the throne of heaven. Child emotions are so much more pure and unrefined. We adults can listen and learn from them.

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='Patrick' post='1895994' date='Jun 19 2009, 01:26 PM']Precisely. It's their church too.

Let me also offer -- when you hear a child crying in church, instead of being annoyed at the crying, remember in humility how much more so your own petitions must sound before the throne of heaven. Child emotions are so much more pure and unrefined. We adults can listen and learn from them.[/quote]
Thanks for that insight, it certainly helps put things in perspective.

[Shpout]

Let the children be a part of the mass either sitting with their parents or with front row sits!
Check out Maria Montessori's The Mass Explained to Children

[heavenseeker]

you cant force a 0-3 year old to sit quietly for an hour and if so its a rare kid 4-5 little more likely but still hard to do. best option is to sit in cry room or take the kid outside i cry room not an option.

[StColette]

This past Sunday we had to move from a pew in the main body of the Church back into the vestibule which has a designated seating area for families with children. Little man is now mobile so he hates sitting still in the pew now. So we were up and moving around the vestibule looking at the pretty flowers lol

[Don John of Austria]

[quote name='prose' post='952078' date='Apr 18 2006, 12:44 PM']I find that I am frustrated as a mother of a two year old and a 6 month old about this issue. I try to help them understand Mass, but at this age, they are not welsome in the Children's liturgy, and frankly, a two year old doesn't understand particularily what is going on. I think the most she grasps is when the priest hold up the Eucharist, she says "There's Jesus, mom"

Children can not be magically quiet and sit still for an hour or more. No matter how much we want them to. People that call them names and hold disdain for parents are half of the problem. Many parents I know won't even go to Mass because of the fear that they are offending people like this when their children cry.

The Bible does not say "go forth and multiply - but make sure they are quiet and calm all the time"

For the record, We have no cryroom, so I let my children cry in pews or play in pew by us. I do my best to keep them quiet, but it isn't always possible, and I shouldn't be judged if my two year old is incapable of sitting silent and still for an hour.

[/end rant][/quote]


Well small children, not infants, seemed to be able to be quite for the first 1950 years of Catholicism. I don't buy the a 2 year old can't be quite thing. The fact is we are no longer willing to MAKE our children be quite. Yes I have children. I spend many a Mass in the foyer of the Church because we also do not have acry room. Other worshipers should not be subjected to the whinning and crying of my children if it can be helped. By the same token, if I take my 6 year old outto theparking lot and spank the bejeezus out of him for misbehavior during Mass, I shouldn't get a look from a parishoner either.