Brother Adam Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 On the existance of God for an RCIA class. This would be their second lesson. Assume everyone from Baptists to non-baptized pagans will be in the class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 do they have to be church related jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toledo_jesus Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 you could tell the one about the atheist professor and the Marine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 or the one about the golfing priest and nun. or this one whats green and has weels? grass: I was just kidding about the weels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 You mean "wheels"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Well I actually need them lol. Not just titles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 You could always start out with, "Hey have your heard the one about the atheist and the marine? Stop me if you've heard this one." And then hope that someone stops you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toledo_jesus Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 [quote name='Brother Adam' date='Mar 27 2006, 11:02 PM']Well I actually need them lol. Not just titles. [right][snapback]924476[/snapback][/right] [/quote] g-g-g-g-goooooogle it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimco926 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Okay, my kids in my Jr. High group told me a good one tonight....if I can remember it....okay, here goes: What is greater than God, Poor people have it, Rich people don't need it, and if you eat it constanly, you will die? Nothing..... Nothing is greater than God Poor people have nothing, rich people need nothing and if you constantly eat nothing, you die. Will that work? We were playing a riddle game and that was my favorite. They did fall for the rooster on the roof, the wind is blowing to the east, which way would the egg roll? Or how about the one with Gandhi: He was a great man, but because of his diet and poor health, he was very frail and suffered from serious bouts of bad breath. Often he walked barefooted, which obviously left him with very sore feet. So that would make him a: Super calloused, fragile mystic hexed with halitosis. sorry.....that was really bad......but it is very late....... How about the two eskimos that finaly saved enough money to purchase a kayak. They were out fishing on a very cold day, so they built a fire in the boat and that created an obvious hole and it sank....proving.... that you cannot have your kayak and heat it to! Okay.....I really need to go to bed....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Alright, so you don't believe in me. (But what if you're wrong?) God. Don't forget your umbrella. I might water the plants today. God. Its not the end of the world. Not until I say so, anyway. God. If you missed the sunrise I made for you today, never mind. I'll make you another one tomorrow. God. How can you possibly be a self-made man? I specifically recall creating you. God. Nietzche is dead. God. I was thinking of making the world black and white. Then I thought Naaah. God. How can you call yourself a free thinker when you can't even accept the possibility of my existence? God. If you think Mona Lisa is stunning, you should look at my masterpiece. Look in the Mirror. God. Please don't drink and drive. You're not quite ready to meet me. God. When you're weary, feeling small. When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all. Simon and Garfunkel. Ditto. God. I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. OK, I'm biased. God. What do I have to do to get your attention? Take out an ad in the newspaper? God. Earthlings, don't treat me like an alien. God. Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. God C'mon over and bring the kids. God What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? God We need to talk. God Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. God Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. God That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. God I love you and you and you and you and... God Will the road you're on get you to my place? God Follow me. God Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. God My way is the highway. God Need directions? God You think it's hot here? God Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. God Do you have any idea where you're going? God Don't make me come down there. God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fundy_mental Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 [quote name='dimco926' date='Mar 28 2006, 05:54 PM']Or how about the one with Gandhi: He was a great man, but because of his diet and poor health, he was very frail and suffered from serious bouts of bad breath. Often he walked barefooted, which obviously left him with very sore feet. So that would make him a: Super calloused, fragile mystic hexed with halitosis. [right][snapback]924727[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Soze Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 A priest, an athiest, a black guy and an Indian walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this, an effin' joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
styx chyx Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 [FONT=Times] Hey there, these are a few Christian jokes I've got. Please be aware that none are intended to offend. A Catholic Priest was driving home one night after partaking in a few glasses of wine. He is pulled over by a policeman who leans in through the window and asks the priest if he has been drinking at all. The priest replies "No officer, absolutely not, I've only been drinking water tonight." The policeman looks at the floor of the passenger side in the car, and sees a wine bottle rolling around. "Excuse me sir," the officer says, "but is that a wine bottle on the floor?" The priest looks down and says, "no that's my water...Holy cow, He's done it again!!!" Q. Why are Anglicans/Baptists so much wealthier than Catholics? A. The collection plate only gets passed around once. Q. How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Change? And, finally, a nice long-winded one... A Catholic priest receives a phone call from his friend who is an Anglican priest. In the general chit-chat, the Catholic priest mentions a problem that the church had been faced with recently. He tells the Anglican priest, "We have possums who keep getting into the roof of the church and nesting. I've tried everything I can think of to get rid of them. First I rang a pest-control guy who came and treated the roof, but still the possums returned. Next I rang a different pest-control man who uses a somewhat 'radical' treatment for possum eradication, but still the possums returned. Next I rang a member of Greenpeace, who tried to lure the possums out to a safer environment, but still the possums returned. Finally, I was at the end of my tether, so I called a hunter to get rid of them, but there are STILL possums in the roof of the church. I don't know what to do!" The Anglican priest is quiet for a moment, then he says, "Just give me a moment and I'll come round. I can get rid of the possums for you." Disbelievingly, the Catholic priest hung up the phone and waited for the Anglican priest. When the Anglican arrived he climbed into the roof, staying in there for half an hour. The Anglican priest left quietly. A week later, the Anglican priest rang his Catholic friend. "How's the possum problem going?" He asked. "It's amazing!" The Catholic priest replied. "Ever since you've been here, the possums have disappeared! It's incredible! What did you do?" "Well" the Anglican priest replied. "I went up into the roof, found the possums and baptised them all. I knew that we'd never see them again after that."!! Hope you like them! Styx Chyx Western Australia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 (edited) [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Mar 27 2006, 08:58 PM']You mean "wheels"? [right][snapback]924466[/snapback][/right] [/quote] yes i do and the h is in there... you just cant see it. ok i forgot the h's I was tired and being yelled at to get of the computer when i typed it. Edited March 28, 2006 by heavenseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 sorry, got nothing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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