benedictaj Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 (edited) Like most of you, I'm contemplating entering religious life this year. My spiritual director (of sorts) were discussing it today, and now I feel all weird, like really scared and happy at the same time. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like its really become a reality.....or THE reality of what my life will become... OK, I don't know what else to write - just that prayers would be appreciated!! Edited March 22, 2006 by memtherose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Yes, I know what you mean It's terrifyingly exciting to embrace a life that's radically different from what the world offers, and I think it's pretty healthy to be feeling some good-natured jitters! Love and prayers, PP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 It's called cold feet. : Fortuantely you can enter the religious life knowing that you can change paths should you realize at a later date that God wants you elsewhere. Look on the bright side; the Sacrament of Matrimony doesn't afford this opportunity. You've got a good SD. You SHOULD be scared, otherwise you wouldn't be taking it seriously enough. Prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 [quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Mar 22 2006, 02:18 PM']Look on the bright side; the Sacrament of Matrimony doesn't afford this opportunity.[right][snapback]917621[/snapback][/right] [/quote] This made me chuckle! I'm not sure why... Love and prayers, PP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 [quote name='puellapaschalis' date='Mar 22 2006, 06:30 AM']This made me chuckle! I'm not sure why... Love and prayers, PP [right][snapback]917629[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I've heard a lot of vocation talks, and somehow, they all seem to mention this. I think it's because many women and men are afraid to enter religious life, on the chance it's not for them. Even if they feel called to enter now. But, it is a great thing to consider. . . and well, if it isn't for you, or your yes turns into a no, you haven't made vows (for my community perpetual vows comes 9 years after entrance) for life yet, so you can always leave. It is, of course, not something I'd advocate without a lot of prayer because it is difficult, on you and the community, to leave, but it is an available option. (Unlike marriage ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 (edited) [quote name='memtherose' date='Mar 22 2006, 02:56 AM']Like most of you, I'm contemplating entering religious life this year. My spiritual director (of sorts) were discussing it today, and now I feel all weird, like really scared and happy at the same time. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like its really become a reality.....or THE reality of what my life will become... OK, I don't know what else to write - just that prayers would be appreciated!! [right][snapback]917589[/snapback][/right] [/quote] It's funny. . .when I started thinking about religious life again, it didnt really hit me. When my pastor encouraged me to visit the PCPA just starting here, it didn't hit me. When I visited the PCPA in AZ, and decided that it was a viable option (although I felt called to Carmel), it didn't hit me. When I spoke with my spiritual director, and he encouraged that I visit the PCPA in Ohio, (although I felt called to Carmel. . .see me dragging my feet? LOL) it didn't hit me. When I visited, I was hit with a [color=red]BAM[/color] moment. . .. I felt called here, but I wouldn't LET it hit me! I had Carmels to visit, after all! When I visited the other Carmels that I had under consideration, (already had plane tickets) after PCPA, and our Lord answered my prayer that He make it obvious that I wasn't called there, I wouldn't let it hit me. When I turned in my application, when I was accepted, when I called Mother to accept.. .and enter, it didn't hit me. Then, I calmly hung up the phone, realized what I had just done, I'd given my yes. Then. . . . [color=blue]IT HIT ME! [/color] I'm going to be a nun! What did I just do!? Then, I prayed, allowed His love and calm to rush over me. Does it still hit me ever so often? Yea, when I went shopping for all the under-wear things I had to buy, which I bought all at once. When I come home to see 1/2 my furniture gone. When I wake, sore, then realize I'm sore due to all the packing and cleaning and moving I've been doing. When I get a letter in the mail from the sisters offering me their words of encouragement. When I quit my job. You'll have little 'hit me' moments until you enter. And then, bigger ones, I'm sure. When you enter, when you become a novice, when you make vows, etc. But I just run to Jesus (Imagine a little scared kid running into mom's arms, from the boogey monster) Waaaaaa it's hitting me! Those moments joy-filled, exciting, scary, anxiousness (the kind where you look like you have ants in your pants), uncertainty all rolled into one. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. Now. . . .the grief with the family, on the other hand. . . .. God bless you! You're in my prayers. Edited March 22, 2006 by PCPA2Be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedictaj Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 23 2006, 04:50 AM']It's funny. . .when I started thinking about religious life again, it didnt really hit me. When my pastor encouraged me to visit the PCPA just starting here, it didn't hit me. When I visited the PCPA in AZ, and decided that it was a viable option (although I felt called to Carmel), it didn't hit me. When I spoke with my spiritual director, and he encouraged that I visit the PCPA in Ohio, (although I felt called to Carmel. . .see me dragging my feet? LOL) it didn't hit me. When I visited, I was hit with a [color=red]BAM[/color] moment. . .. I felt called here, but I wouldn't LET it hit me! I had Carmels to visit, after all! When I visited the other Carmels that I had under consideration, (already had plane tickets) after PCPA, and our Lord answered my prayer that He make it obvious that I wasn't called there, I wouldn't let it hit me. When I turned in my application, when I was accepted, when I called Mother to accept.. .and enter, it didn't hit me. Then, I calmly hung up the phone, realized what I had just done, I'd given my yes. Then. . . . [color=blue]IT HIT ME! [/color] I'm going to be a nun! What did I just do!? Then, I prayed, allowed His love and calm to rush over me. Does it still hit me ever so often? Yea, when I went shopping for all the under-wear things I had to buy, which I bought all at once. When I come home to see 1/2 my furniture gone. When I wake, sore, then realize I'm sore due to all the packing and cleaning and moving I've been doing. When I get a letter in the mail from the sisters offering me their words of encouragement. When I quit my job. You'll have little 'hit me' moments until you enter. And then, bigger ones, I'm sure. When you enter, when you become a novice, when you make vows, etc. But I just run to Jesus (Imagine a little scared kid running into mom's arms, from the boogey monster) Waaaaaa it's hitting me! Those moments joy-filled, exciting, scary, anxiousness (the kind where you look like you have ants in your pants), uncertainty all rolled into one. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. Now. . . .the grief with the family, on the other hand. . . .. God bless you! You're in my prayers. [right][snapback]917878[/snapback][/right] [/quote] That's exactly what I meant, lo. Thanks Denise - and everyone else!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Sorry to be verbose! I was just sharing how it was with me. I think you have to take a deep breath and continuing moving on. It's scary, but the more you plod on . .as you find specifiically where our Lord is calling you: the Order, the Congregation, the monastery/convent; then as you visit, and perhaps even visit again, make your decision, apply, wait for the acceptance, buy all the things you need to enter, finish up your business in the world, say good bye to co-workers, friends, family, and then finally!!! enter. . .there will continue to be some serious 'it hit me' moments. The best advice? Don't think. Don't stop, don't think. LOL Because the more you think, the worse off you'll be, second guessing yourself, etc. That's just a personal perspective. And when I'm feeling really wimpy, I just go running and whining to OLAM Dad, LOL! He is 'da bomb' as teens nowadays say. OK, I'll now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedictaj Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 You know what? That is the best advice I have ever heard. Another sister had told me that as well. Once you start seriously discerning and increasingly your prayer and sacramental life, stop thinking about it, and just pray. I have to say I think waaaaay too much, and it paralyses me. So, everyone - don't think, lol. Just pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 LOL It is the best advice, truly. I wish I could claim it, but I'm sure I must have heard it from someone else. I mean, right now, as I've been packing and sorting all night long (this packing is taking forever! It's not like 'normal' packing, where you just toss things in a box and know you can just unpack and sort later. This packing involves thinking about who gets what, putting things in piles, packing this for that person, can I bring this, should I leave that, etc. A lot of personal papers, journals, etc, have gotten shredded, just stuff like that), sometimes I will stop, look around and just blink. . .think wow, look at how empty it is. . .and then I just go distract myself with something else! LOL Because if I really sat and analyzed it all . ..well, it's a wee scary! The faith one has to have, combined with the uncertainty of it all. It CAN be paralyzing. . .a 'what in the WORLD are you doing?' but knowing that what you are feeling is 110% normal! That's what makes it easier to continue and know that once you've entered, once you've begun that journey, life will take on a whole new meaning. So, yes, don't think, just pray. Jesus will carry you through this exciting and sacrificial time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedictaj Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 Yes! the worst thing is the scary feeling, but it guess its a good safety mechanism....or something. At the moment, I am trying to figure out how to let my parents know that I'd like to enter....this year... Also, my student loan payments haven't gone through yet (they go through next Tuesday or Wednesday) SO, I'm wondering should I pull out of my degree, before I have this loan over my head? I have a scholarship which will help, but still..... I just need to keep praying. If it is His will for me to enter anywhere this year, He will lead the way. I'm stuck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 I wouldnt say that you're stuck. Weren't you going to enter the Poor Clares in the Netherlands? Is that still the place you're considering? Do your parents know you are discerning religious life, in general? Do you have an Adoration Chapel near? I would take your prayers to Jesus and ask about your schooling. Honestly, there are so many young women who want to enter religious life, but have to put it on hold because of the debt they've accumulated and have to wait until it's paid off. That would be something I'd honestly consider. God bless you, I will keep you in prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedictaj Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 (edited) [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 23 2006, 09:55 PM']I wouldnt say that you're stuck. Weren't you going to enter the Poor Clares in the Netherlands? Is that still the place you're considering?[right][snapback]918789[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm going to PM you about this [quote]Do your parents know you are discerning religious life, in general?[/quote] Hmmm, Mum is fine with me becoming a nun (at some point, preferably in the distant future, especially considering I'm 18.) Dad is always teasing me that I could never be a nun because I keep such irregular hours, late to bed, late to rise, lol. So I wouldn't say that they oppose it. It's more that it would be a shock to realise that I am being truly serious, and that its what I feel I am meant to do, pretty much now! [quote]Do you have an Adoration Chapel near? I would take your prayers to Jesus and ask about your schooling. Honestly, there are so many young women who want to enter religious life, but have to put it on hold because of the debt they've accumulated and have to wait until it's paid off. That would be something I'd honestly consider. God bless you, I will keep you in prayer.[/quote] No Adoration chapel near But, I've got two hot dates with Jesus tomorrow, 45 mins Adoration before Mass, at luchtime, then, one hour in the evening I can't wait!!! And yes, so many things have screwed up my student loan coming through ON TIME. (I had to get permission to pay late and so on, because they kept messing it up.) that I'm wondering if it isn't a hint from God, lol!! Thank you Denise! I needed to get that off my chest lol God bless you always!!!! Edited March 23, 2006 by memtherose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='memtherose' date='Mar 23 2006, 03:03 AM']I'm going to PM you about this [/quote] I'm still waiting ! LOL [quote]Hmmm, Mum is fine with me becoming a nun (at some point, preferably in the distant future, especially considering I'm 18.) Dad is always teasing me that I could never be a nun because I keep such irregular hours, late to bed, late to rise, lol.[/quote] You and me both! When I'm not working, I stay up late. That will go over fabulously when I fall asleep the next day in chapel! Seriously though, you work so hard that as soon as you get ready for bed, you fall asleep. That's what's always happened on my visits and when I was in religious life before. [quote]No Adoration chapel near But, I've got two hot dates with Jesus tomorrow, 45 mins Adoration before Mass, at luchtime, then, one hour in the evening I can't wait!!! [/quote] I love hot dates with my Spouse to be [quote]And yes, so many things have screwed up my student loan coming through ON TIME. (I had to get permission to pay late and so on, because they kept messing it up.) that I'm wondering if it isn't a hint from God, lol!![/quote] Could be! He does do things like that! [quote]Thank you Denise! I needed to get that off my chest lol God bless you always!!!! [/quote] Awww, I love talking to you too, even if it is via typing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgirl Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 23 2006, 12:17 PM'] Could be! He does do things like that! [right][snapback]919134[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Especially since so many of us have problems reconciling student loans with religious life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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