CrossCuT Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 (edited) [color=330000]Chuck Norris is a god! When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake, he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until the man exploded. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris can speak braille. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the he wants. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you. [url="http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/norris.shtml"]http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/norris.shtml[/url] [/color] Edited March 16, 2006 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 [url="http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com"]My Webpage[/url] go here to read more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 [color=330000]I LOVE CHUCK NORRIS! [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailahína Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 didn't he invent nunchucks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Chuck Norris repping the Bible: [img]http://www.bibleinschools.net/imgs_for_web/chuck_norris_photo.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 [color=330000]SEE? He is a super hero! He will round-house kick those heretics back to the truth! [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 One of the few movies I ever fell asleep in was Mega Force. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 [color=330000]I have never seen any of his movies or shows. GO CHUCK NORRIS! [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic Knight Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 [color=blue]Jesus is god! When Jesus jumps into a lake, he walks on the lake. If you can see Jesus he can see you. If you can't see Jesus...he can still see you.. God once brought the world into existance by just speaking. Jesus does not sleep. He waits. Jesus created infinity. Jesus can speak braille. Jesus donated his blood to save the world. Jesus knows where you live and he knows where you will die. Jesus can divide by zero. Oxygen requires Jesus to live [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God the Father Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Chuck Norris is Jesus' daddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 [color=330000]I love Chuck Norris [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic Knight Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 [quote name='God the Father' date='Mar 16 2006, 06:35 PM']Chuck Norris is Jesus' daddy. [right][snapback]913554[/snapback][/right] [/quote] [color=blue] Do you know what Knights do to Heretics?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 [color=330000]Do you know what Chuck Norris does to heretics? [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud2BCatholic139 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 When I was a little kid, I thought Chuck Norris looked like my Uncle Jerry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now