being divorced

[dairygirl4u2c]

ty

[Sojourner]

Funny .... I just had lunch with a dear friend last week who is in this exact situation. He will probably end up remarrying. And I'll rejoice for him when that happens.

[Paladin]

As I understand canon law, you couldn't marry. Even if your separated spouse did remarry, your sacramental union still stands. It seems harsh, and we must show compassion and charity for people in such cases, but you can't dissolve a sacrament.

[dairygirl4u2c]

[quote]Funny .... I just had lunch with a dear friend last week who is in this exact situation. He will probably end up remarrying. And I'll rejoice for him when that happens.[/quote]

So you'll rejoice in his mortal sin? Even if he's not Catholic or accountable for whatever reason, he's still sinning.
You are aware that that would essentially involve living in mortal sin?

[quote]As I understand canon law, you couldn't marry. Even if your separated spouse did remarry, your sacramental union still stands. It seems harsh, and we must show compassion and charity for people in such cases, but you can't dissolve a sacrament.[/quote]
Does it only seem harsh or is it actually harsh?
Do you hesitate to call or harsh because living in truth is not harsh per se but can be tough aka maybe "harsh"?
or I can sort of understand the rationale, but at least have the cajones to say it's harsh...
or in your case, ovaries..

Edited March 7, 2006 by dairygirl4u2c

[Aloysius]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Mar 6 2006, 09:25 PM']Funny .... I just had lunch with a dear friend last week who is in this exact situation. He will probably end up remarrying. And I'll rejoice for him when that happens.
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if your friend cannot get an annulment, it would be a sin to remarry and cannot present himself for holy communion.

marriage is forever, even if one partner decides to "end" it. the two remain married and nothing can tear it apart except death.

annulment means there never was a marriage in the first place. if there was a valid marriage, remarrying is impossible and mortally sinful (the second marriage would be invalid and the two would be committing adultery).

[Paladin]

[quote name='dairygirl4u2c' date='Mar 6 2006, 10:21 PM']Does it only seem harsh or is it actually harsh?
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Binding to a Christ-given sacrament only seems harsh to our human intellect. If the Godhead gave it to us, it is good and we are bound to it. I can't see sacraments as being harsh.

[track2004]

There are a million other circumstances that would dictate getting remarried, not just my spouse leaving and not coming back. So I don't know. It depends on a lot of things and most importantly finding someone I'd be willing to marry.

[Ash Wednesday]

If that happened to me, I would never want to marry again. I'm not one to date just anyone, so I'd probably not be able and willing to place my trust in another soul anyway. After such an experience I would probably prefer to spend the rest of my life in solitude with God.

[cmotherofpirl]

You don't know if you have grounds for annullment until you discuss it with a priest.

[Aloysius]

yep.

But assuming there are no grounds for annulment remarrying would be a mortal sin.

[thessalonian]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Mar 6 2006, 08:25 PM']Funny .... I just had lunch with a dear friend last week who is in this exact situation. He will probably end up remarrying. And I'll rejoice for him when that happens.
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Having been in an unapproved marriage for a couple of years, that I later had validated in the Church, in retrospect I would have to say, at least from my experience, your rejoicing is ill-advised. I got in to the situation because I was not living my faith. While I was in the situation, my soul was not at rest and right with God. Had I died during this time I do not have great confidence in my eternal outcome. In fact I would be surprized if I would not have ended up with the damned from the struggles that were going on within me. I definitely put myself in danger for eternity over "happiness" in this life. I have to believe it is similar for any Catholic who is in such a relationship. Fortunately for me God was patient with me and gave me the grace to rise above the situation and eventually get it all resolved. Some are not that lucky I am sure. Kirby Pucket, who was Catholic, has had considerable turmoil in his life and was getting remarried before he died yesterday. I hope his soul was not in the state mine was in during a similar time in my life.


My recommendation is that if you know someone heading in to this situation you pray for them as if they are going to hell. I am grateful to my family who let it be known that they did not approve of what I was doing and prayed for me. There are alot of complicating circumstances in my situation that I will not detail. But the fact is my soul was in grave danger. Sin pit it there.
Blessings

Edited March 7, 2006 by thessalonian

[Quietfire]

As someone who is...
A. in the process of being received in the Church and...
B. currently married to a Catholic that was civilly divorced...

I know precisely what Thess is speaking of above.

My soul is not at rest.

I pray that everything works out well, but until then I know that I am currently living in adultery.
This is one of my many personal issues that I spoke of on another forum here, something that I have to work out with the grace of God and help from the Church, which I have been assured that I would receive.

My husband supports me in wanting to be received in the Church, but as far as him pursuing an annulment...thats another story.

[thessalonian]

You have my prayes, for him as well that he will see the importance of it. My wife at one time did not want to go through it all other. Praise God he moved her to it. God's grace is there for you on your journey which is not always easy.

[Quietfire]

Thank you Thess.

He's actually come quite far considering what he's been through, more than I really need to get into here, so I give him alot of credit and patience.
He is definitely not afraid to discuss this with me, we spent a good hour last night over this.
I have spent time talking with a Sister from my parish who is preparing me for entrance and she's given me another option so I dont have to wait for him to persue an annulment. I think though, that I would only consider it as a last resort. Somehow I feel if I choose it (at least right now, in my mind) then I am saying that I dont have that trust in my husband and that also, in some small way, I am leaving him behind.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 7 2006, 06:27 AM']If that happened to me, I would never want to marry again. I'm not one to date just anyone, so I'd probably not be able and willing to place my trust in another soul anyway. After such an experience I would probably prefer to spend the rest of my life in solitude with God.
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ash usually sums it up best! :