Feeling "at home"

[magnificat]

So, asking the converse of shortun's question--has anyone ever visited a community and known right away that it wasn't for them? If so, what was the feeling you got?

[be_thou_my_vision]

Yes, I have felt like the order was not for me a couple of hours after I had arrived. I just felt really anxious to leave. When I was talking to the sisters, I just didn't feel like myself.

[HisChild]

Yes, that's happened to me more than once.

There was one place that I really felt, before I visited, that it was 'it'. I visited several years before, just going to Sunday Mass when I was on vacation. Later when I started thinking about religious life, I immediately thought of this monastery. We corresponded and I had a real preconceived notion that I was called there. Nothing all that abnormal, right ? Because many of us have thought they were called to a particular order or community even before a visit. Well, after I visited the PCPA in Ohio, (and grappled with our Lord LOL) I felt fairly positive that I was called there but also had an equal desire for this other community. So, I prayed that if our Lord was NOT calling me to this second community, then He should make it very obvious to me while I was there on my visit.

On my visit, LOL It was just a comedy of errors. Anything that could go wrong did. Even my time in the chapel, while it was a beautiful place. .. it was just. . .so obvious that this wonderful place was not for me.

After my visit there, I prayed about it. I had a ton of doubts, about everything. My vocation, my life, anything and everything. However, I called Reverend Mother and told her I didn't feel called to the other place (She already knew about my visit), they had a Chapter about me, and I was accepted that week. I prayed about my acceptance and as soon as I called to say 'yes', all my doubts instantly disappeared.

[magnificat]

[quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 11 2006, 10:07 PM'] I had a real preconceived notion that I was called there.  Nothing all that abnormal, right ?
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Hmm..interesting stories. Do you think it's a bad thing if you do have that feeling of being called to a particular community before visiting?

[HisChild]

Absolutely not! As long as you are open to hearing our Lord once you DO visit. Just in case it's not where you are called.. . you know, wow what a beautiful community, what a wonderful VD, how can you not be called? LOL

[TheresaMF]

Ave + Maria

I visited several communities during highschool and college, although I never felt called to up and join one of them. It can be hard for me to distinguish my own likes and dislikes from what God might be saying. You know, "I don't like or don't feel comfortable with this aspect of this community or retreat, but is that my human weakness that needs to be overcome, or an indication that God doesn't intend me to enter here?"

I could tell rationally that a nursing order is not God's plan for me, or another order that prays in a way unattractive to me. Did this strike me immediately as I walked through the door? No. Both communities are beautiful in different ways, and I see and admire that. Now I see mainly by contrast--the calm, peace, charity, etcetc at the Monastery of St. Jude made a strong impression on me, the goals of their life fulfilled my core aspirations and promise more than I had dreamt, and most essentially I felt an unconditional desire to give myself completely to my Lord Jesus Christ by entering this particular community. I had never felt that in visiting any other community, no matter how beautiful, orthodox, or Dominican. That is the main difference for me.

So: something was missing from my experience of the other communities, but I didn't know what it was until I experienced it at the monastery!

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 11 2006, 09:43 PM']So, asking the converse of shortun's question--has anyone ever visited a community and known right away that it wasn't for them?  If so, what was the feeling you got?
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Well with one community I visited, I JUST KNEW.

I was uncomfortable. I can't explain it.

Then on another instance it took me almost a year to figure out I wasn't called to this one particular community. Sometimes after you see things in a bigger picture, you figure it out. Like when I stayed for a longer period of time, the VD kind of left me to my own devices and when it came time for prayer, she was too busy with duties (whatever) to go. Even with mass, I'd see her coming in at the tail end for communion, then she's sit all the way at the other end of the chapel by the choir and stare at me. It kind of freaked me out. Then I started wondering how important prayer was to this community....and even community itself...and I felt kind of like an unwelcomed guest. Then there was a lot of unsettledness and no peace and I just knew the place wasn't for me.

Edited March 12, 2006 by Laurentina1975

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 11 2006, 09:43 PM']So, asking the converse of shortun's question--has anyone ever visited a community and known right away that it wasn't for them? 
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I knew, pretty much the first day, that the Nashville Dominicans weren't for me. The Sisters were super-nice and their Motherhouse was super-beautiful, and I was not in a hurry to leave or anything.

But I couldn't imagine myself living there and going about their daily routine. Let me rephrase that. I couldn't imagine myself doing it with a tranquil heart. All religious are busy, but there are different kinds of busy. The lovely Nashville D's are devoted to community prayer, but they [i]are[/i] busy as in "on the go" a lot. I couldn't see myself at peace being busy that particular way.

A priest once told me that, if I enter the religious life, there's going to come an "oh my gosh" moment when I realise that [i]this[/i] daily rhythm is what I'm going to be doing, as far as I know, for the rest of my natural life. And I should discern now so that when that "oh my gosh" moment comes, I'll be able to say: "that's not so bad at all."

[be_thou_my_vision]

That's what I felt like, at that exact place. For me, it was a strange feeling of being really uncomfortable.

[magnificat]

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences everyone!

I was just listening to Matt Maher's "Lead Me Home" and I realize how much it is really my prayer to the Lord as I'm looking at communities. You can listen to it here:[url="http://www.spiritandsong.com/jukebox/songs/66132"]Lead Me Home[/url]

Here's the part of the lyrics:
[quote]Thank you for your joy,
thank you for the pain
of longing for peace in my suffering.
Thank you for my hunger,
for my poverty,
that I would fall into the arms of mercy.

Every road leads back to you
every journey lies in you

So lead me home, my lover, savior.
Lead me home, my master, redeemer,
Lead me home, and I will rest in you.[/quote]

It's definatly important to remember, I think, that even if the path to our vocation seems crooked and with weird twists and turns, that God is with us and guiding us...all we need to do is be open and trusting.

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 12 2006, 03:31 PM']It's definatly important to remember, I think, that even if the path to our vocation seems crooked and with weird twists and turns, that God is with us and guiding us...all we need to do is be open and trusting.
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Sometimes He is trying to teach us something...