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Discerning with an open mind.....


uruviel

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Well, I can't really say that I have been too open minded about any other communities than the one that I'm in love with. I really really try to look into other orders, and see what's out there, to see what God might be calling me to do, but I just can't. No other order, besides the Domincans in Nashville who I liked, but still nothing has appealed to me more than The poor clares in Hanceville, or anywhere for that matter. I want to consider all options, but at the moment, I can't get my eyes off Poor Clares, and just the thought of knowing I have 5 years to wait before I can enter is... saddening. I know that I have so much more to learn, grow, and mature before I can make a dissision, and I know how early it is, but I, I just can't explain how badly I want to enter not just any community, the poor clares. And if I did, I woulnd't want to only go to Hanceville, I'm willing to go to Ohio, or Arizona. I have a devotion to St. Francis and St. Clare, and I feel that I am called to the cloistered, but how can I be sure of anything yet? It's still so very early. 5 years.... It's a long, slow amount of time. Anyways, that's it, I was just having a bit of a hard time with that, and I know that in His sweet time God will let me know what he wants of me and is teaching me patience and to trust in His divine mercy, I don't have a spiritual directer as it is very difficult to find one, so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you :)
Pax Christi,
~Lori

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Lori,

So many prayers... for an increase in patience (which the Lord knows I need too!), for wisdom, for an open heart and an open mind to allow you to fall even more deeply in love with Christ! Prayers also for your future spiritual director... that you may find each other quickly.

Hail Mary...

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Know that I am keeping you in my prayers and ask our god the holy spirit to give you the graces as you continue to grow closer to our lord and await your entrance into the poor clares and that you will find a good spiritual director!

God Bless You!

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I know exactly how you feel. I've been waiting 9 years now, intensely for the past 3. It's very difficult. However, looking back, I know that God used this time of waiting to make it something beautiful. I can't even fathom how much my spiritual life has grown and I have now a wonderful Spiritual Director who is guiding me directly to the Heart of Jesus. So many blessings would have been missed without this "desert time."

Also, I wouldn't worry so much about being "open-minded." The only open-mindedness we need as discerners is to know that we want to do the will of God whatever it may be for Love of Him. If the Poor Clares bring joy to your heart, work with that. God works through those giddy feelings of ours. Our vocation, after all, springs forth from our joy.

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brandelynmarie
:sign: Many prayers here, Lori! For you, you have to wait 5 years...which may seem like forever & for me, I have about 2 years to get my bum in gear before I turn 36!!! Debts to eradicate, chubby weight to lose... :blush:..I'm discerning with the PCPA's in Ohio & the Summit Dominicans as well...Time is a problem now, since it is diffcult for me to get time off to visit communities as well...My nun-clock is ticking! :ohno: On the bright side, you will be able to take your time & slowly establish a relationship with communities...What a blessing that you feel called now! And who knows, maybe you could get special permission someplace to enter even earlier...Peace be with you, Brandelyn
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Laurentina1975

[quote name='uruviel' date='Feb 26 2006, 01:05 PM']Well, I can't really say that I have been too open minded about any other communities than the one that I'm in love with.  I really really try to look into other orders, and see what's out there, to see what God might be calling me to do, but I just can't.  No other order, besides the Domincans in Nashville who I liked, but still nothing has appealed to me more than The poor clares in Hanceville, or anywhere for that matter.  I want to consider all options, but at the moment, I can't get my eyes off Poor Clares, and just the thought of knowing I have 5 years to wait before I can enter is... saddening.  I know that I have so much more to learn, grow, and mature before I can make a dissision, and I know how early it is, but I, I just can't explain how badly I want to enter not just any community, the poor clares.  And if I did, I woulnd't want to only go to Hanceville, I'm willing to go to Ohio, or Arizona.  I have a devotion to St. Francis and St. Clare, and I feel that I am called to the cloistered, but how can I be sure of anything yet?  It's still so very early.  5 years.... It's a long, slow amount of time.  Anyways, that's it, I was just having a bit of a hard time with that, and I know that in His sweet time God will let me know what he wants of me and is teaching me patience and to trust in His divine mercy, I don't have a spiritual directer as it is very difficult to find one, so any advice would be appreciated.  Thank you  :)
Pax Christi,
~Lori
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Dear Lori,

May I just say that you are very mature (this I can tell from your writings).
Also, I know exactly how you feel. I am at a point now where I feel God is starting to show me clarity and peace after discerning for almost 2 years (soldily, I have been since high school, but was engaed....long story).

Something magnificent happened to me today. I realized I am willing to say yes. I've recently met a religious community where there seems to be missing pieces to my "puzzle" if that makes sense.

It must be Divine Providence or something, but this group of Sisters, I felt I could identify with. Their Superior was so full of wisdom and PEACE that it emanated forth from her. I want what she has. Right now I need to pray and let it all sink in. However, this certain Sister has had some life experiences that have mirrored mine. What that tells me is that she understands where I am coming from. Should I enter her community (by Gods will alone), I know that my formation will be the most beautiful experience. Why? Well, because number one, I can identify with her on certain things (my age ~ 30 and being a late vocation) and the fact that I want what these Sisters have. I see the Holy Spirit working within them.

I know that the transition will be hard for me, but I am willing to sacrifice everything for God. Besides the fact that religious life will be a huge sacrifice, I know that I will be surrounded by the Holy Spirit because they are guided by it, I see it! Their community is apostolic, yet contemplative and they are a visible sign of God in this world today! They are also Franciscan...I love Franciscan spirituality.

I've met several Franciscan communities, mostly habitless and progressive. I spent a year in discernment with one and wasn't at peace. I never knew enough to look at a more conservative community.
Now I have met a conservative/progressive community..kinda a middle of the road, love them (they were my high school teachers), but never felt like I was called there.

So, what I have learned is that it is all in God's timing for us. Going against God's will (whether intentionally or unintentionally) requires a relinquishment of pride. That is what it boils down to I guess.

There also comes a time when if you look at too many communities, you take a risk of confusing yourself! For me all roads lead back to Franciscan communities....but there are sooo many and they are all different!

I will pray that God will lead you in the right direction and Lori, you are so mature. You will be a fine nun/Sister. The Holy Spirit is with all of us, we just need to stay close to Jesus to follow it! He will never let you down!

May God bless you abundantly and you are in my prayers in a special way tonight!

Lauren

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I cannot thank all of you enough for your encouragement, and most especially your prayers! I appreciate it so much. It’ll be hard to reply to all of you, but I’ll try :)
ForHimAlone, thank you for your encouragement, I know that 5 years is worth the wait, and I guess I will just trust in His Divine plan for me and pray for perserverence, but I also know now more, from what you’ve showed me, that these years can be so vital to my spiritual life. And that I am glad of :D
Oh I will be praying for you too!! Most Definitly : )
I just was afraid of not exploring everything because I might miss what God wants, and I could be just feeling this way about the Poor Clares because this is only the second order for me to get seriously into, and maybe that’s just how I will feel about all of them….

Brandelyn, Thank you for your prayers, and your encouragement, I will try to use these years slowly and use them to develop more spiritually and form that great relationship with Jesus. Thank you, I will be most definitely be praying for you too!
Laruen, Wow, thank you so much for everything. This has really helped me, being able to relate with other discerners. I love Fransican orders too, not only because I’m in love with St. Francis but because of their spirituality and poverty.
Yes, I have found that I am more than ready to say yes. I want to give everything that I have, my free will, understanding, my own intellect, everything, to Him and give my will up so that I can no longer be guided by emotions or selfpride. Hopefully with prayer and dedication, He will make His will clear to me, and I will follow Him. I am willing to do anything for Him in this life, and I will be praying for you Lauren!
Thank you all again for your advice, God Bless you all!!
~Lori

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Laurentina1975

[quote name='uruviel' date='Feb 27 2006, 10:57 AM']thanks so much!!  I do too :)  It makes me happy, lol.
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Sometimes I really love phatmass...especially when everyone is kind to one another...After all a vocation is "love" right?

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