Feeling unworthy

[she_who_is_not]

This is something I've been struggling with a lot lately. What do you do when you can't get over a sinful past? Been to confession, recieved absolution and have forgiven yourself but can't forget. Sometimes I just don't feel worthy of the call. Does anyone else struggle with this or have any advice on how to deal with it? Please pray for me.
Peace,
Amanda

Edited February 23, 2006 by she_who_is_not

[franciscanheart]

First, be assured of my fervent prayers. Second, none of us is truly worthy of Christ. I don't know what to say as far as forgetting your past but I'm sure one of the wise of phatmass will come along with some of their never-less-than-wonderful words of wisom.

[cmotherofpirl]

We have all sinned and NONE of us are worthy, so you in the boat as the rest of humanity. You have been forgiven.
Remembering your sins without beating yourself up over them will remind you not to repeat the same ones in the future.

[zunshynn]

I absolutely have felt like that. Here's the thing:

You are not worthy of the call to religious life. Neither am I. Neither was Mother Teresa, St. Catherine of Siena, St. Therese or any other nun in history. To be a bride of Christ is an extraordinary gift that none of us are worthy of. But the unworthiness of his followers has never stopped Jesus Christ from doing things with them.

Our failures, our sins, our weaknesses GLORIFY God. They force us to submit to him entirely. If you were "worthy" of a vocation in the sense that most of us think of worthiness, then chances are you wouldn't be that good of a nun, or a Christian at all, firstly because we're kidding ourselves if we think we're worthy of it, and secondly because he fills what we lack with Grace, and it overflows. If we think that we're good enough for God, then we prevent him from bestowing such graces upon us. It is a testimony of His ability to take the most broken creatures and make them beautiful.

You know, St. Francis of Assisi considered himself the greatest of sinners. So did most of the other saints.

Remember how weak St. Peter was? What a sinner St. Augustine was before his conversion? Or St. Paul?

None of them were worthy of their vocation either. But that's what made their stories so great.

[3n1]

I agree with what everybody else said and add one thing: Did God call you or not? If so, that's all that matters. Don't let the evil one's advances lead you out of your vocation.

[brandelynmarie]

Okay, I just had this conversation with a friend of mine today & I told her how I know I am not perfect...& I feel called to become a cloistered nun...I spent 7 years away from the Church & got caught up in the New Age movement among other things... I have made MANY mistakes in my life & although I still have sorrow & regret over my past sins...I do not despair...I see myself as an earthen clay jar...I have my weaknesses & sins & foibles & these are the cracks & holes in my jar, BUT the Light of Christ that is within me, by the power of the Holy Spirit, SHINES THROUGH the chinks & cracks...It is by His MERCY that we are forgiven & by His Blood that we are redeemed...It is total gift...We are a sinful, wounded people & yet God's love can shine out from us as we cooperate with His grace...I hope this is all making sense...Also, take some of the most repentant saints for your own & ask their help...St. Augustine, St. Francis, St. Mary Magdalene, St. Margaret of Cortona, St. Mary of Egypt...They KNOW because they have been there! And they are saints!!! : Peace be with you, Amanda...Prayers here! Brandelyn

[Charms717RM1]

Amanda,

I know exactly what you mean! Up until this summer I lived a very sinful life- and then one day I was called to repent and come back to the Church. Confessing my sins and forgiving myeslf never seemed to me as if it was good enough. Every day I would see someone or hear something that would remind me of my past- of what i once was and could have become. And that scared me to death, even though i was beginning to feel the call to the priesthod- remembering my past paralyzed my spiritual growth.

Then i read John Paul the Great's book, Gift and Mystery. I realized that what i was feeling wasn't something from within. A vocation is a gift from God! He could have picked the brightest minds, scholars, and preachers in all of Israel but instead he chose simple fishermen, tax collectors, and sinners- honoring their potential and forgiving their pasts. I too am being called to His priesthoood. Sometimes i think He must be crazy if He wants me to be a priest- there has to me millions of better choices out there!

But who am I to argue with Christ? He's given me this Gift of a calling- why should i question His gift? Embrace His gift, and i garuantee that He will embrace you more fully than you can every imagine.

Oh, and you might want to read Gift and Mystery- it's an awesome book and a great starting place for pople on their discernment journey. I'll be praying for you!

In Christ,
Keith Hathaway

[Sixtina87]

i feel the same way at times, but i get over it and then i'm fine...its like a test to see if you are willing to accept such a call from God.......it may or may not come back to you every so often but for it is something i struggle with from time to time.....just continue to discern and see where He leads you!!!

[OLAM Dad]

[quote name='Charms717RM1' date='Feb 23 2006, 06:01 PM']Amanda,

I know exactly what you mean!  Up until this summer I lived a very sinful life- and then one day I was called to repent and come back to the Church.  Confessing my sins and forgiving myeslf never seemed to me as if it was good enough.  Every day I would see someone or hear something that would remind me of my past- of what i once was and could have become.  And that scared me to death, even though i was beginning to feel the call to the priesthod- remembering my past paralyzed my spiritual growth. 

Then i read John Paul the Great's book, Gift and Mystery.  I realized that what i was feeling wasn't something from within.  A vocation is a gift from God!  He could have picked the brightest minds, scholars, and preachers in all of Israel but instead he chose simple fishermen, tax collectors, and sinners- honoring their potential and forgiving their pasts.  I too am being called to His priesthoood.  Sometimes i think He must be crazy if He wants me to be a priest- there has to me millions of better choices out there!

But who am I to argue with Christ?  He's given me this Gift of a calling- why should i question His gift?  Embrace His gift, and i garuantee that He will embrace you more fully than you can every imagine.

Oh, and you might want to read Gift and Mystery- it's an awesome book and a great starting place for pople on their discernment journey.  I'll be praying for you!

In Christ,
Keith Hathaway
[right][snapback]895924[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
Great first post and now a great second post. I think I like this guy.

s_w_i_n, I can't really add to all the great responses that you've gotten so far. You don't feel worthy to be a nun? You don't feel worthy for God's gifts? GREAT, that means you you have all the makings of a fabulous nun.

Ash Wednesday is just a few days away, perhaps the Lord is just putting this weight on your heart to prepare you for an awesomely holy Lent.

God Bless

Edited February 24, 2006 by OLAM Dad

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Charms717RM1' date='Feb 23 2006, 06:01 PM']Amanda,

I know exactly what you mean!  Up until this summer I lived a very sinful life- and then one day I was called to repent and come back to the Church.  Confessing my sins and forgiving myeslf never seemed to me as if it was good enough.  Every day I would see someone or hear something that would remind me of my past- of what i once was and could have become.  And that scared me to death, even though i was beginning to feel the call to the priesthod- remembering my past paralyzed my spiritual growth. 

Then i read John Paul the Great's book, Gift and Mystery.  I realized that what i was feeling wasn't something from within.  A vocation is a gift from God!  He could have picked the brightest minds, scholars, and preachers in all of Israel but instead he chose simple fishermen, tax collectors, and sinners- honoring their potential and forgiving their pasts.  I too am being called to His priesthoood.  Sometimes i think He must be crazy if He wants me to be a priest- there has to me millions of better choices out there!

But who am I to argue with Christ?  He's given me this Gift of a calling- why should i question His gift?  Embrace His gift, and i garuantee that He will embrace you more fully than you can every imagine.

Oh, and you might want to read Gift and Mystery- it's an awesome book and a great starting place for pople on their discernment journey.  I'll be praying for you!

In Christ,
Keith Hathaway
[right][snapback]895924[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
what a great post!!

[benedictaj]

The Mother Abbess of my monastery told me that of course we're not worthy. But our dearest Lord does it as a covenant of love, to show us and everyone else just how much He loves us all.

Also, I fully agree that as His weakest vessels, He strengthens us as to let His glory shine through!!!

[Laurentina1975]

Sometimes the next important thing to believing in God, is believing He loves us....that is equally important.

[douknostcecilia]

I definitely went through the "not feeling worthy" thing. I asked a priest who was somewhat instrumental in my conversion about it, and he gave me a real good perspective on it.

He said something to the effect of, that if you are being called that is the last thing the devil wants, and that if he must, he'll use your own love for God and feeling of unworthiness against you. That is to say that he'll use your guilt to make you feel TOO guilty, and make you dwell on the unworthiness so much that you don't answer your call, or become averted to it. (Thx Fr. Avram)

Just another take I thought I'd share.

In Christ,
Cece